So What's With MY Love Life This 2021?

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I'm scared to fall in love, but what can I do if part of me is deeply in love with him? All I need to do is to trust God that he will save me from myself and from the wrong person, but no one can stop me to love that guy, I'll just let myself love that stupid guy until my heart settled and finally stop aching and ready to let go. Why? Because it makes my heart more sad, and I lose my appetite every time I ask myself to stop loving that person who does not love me back. It is more heartbreaking and cracking and painful, when I always tell myself to control what I feel... than to continue to love him, forget the bitterness, and just accept the fact that he is not into me.... while loving him than forget everything about him which is impossible. I think it is better to admit that I really fall for him and accept that he is not meant for me, and keep praying to God to take care of all the bruises and tears I have... until God will finally heal me completely. To Jesus be the glory!