Netflix and my blanket feel safe!

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Saturday and I was supposed to be working on a proposal for homework, don't feel like getting into all the details. Instead I woke up late and well I did write the first paragraph I guess that is something. Then I proceeded to plant myself on the sofa with a blanket and got lost in a new series on Netflix called Hit and run. Great now I can't stop watching and that means I will probably spend my intire Sunday working on homework. Not exactly what I planned but that seems to be what the deal has been for me on my weekends lately. The week days completely exhaust me and by the weekend I just feel completely exhausted with no ambition for anything. This is awful and somehow I need to figure out how to change this way of my life. I just hope that I didn't take on more than I can chew.? I feel disappointed in myself and I know that I shouldn't but I do feel this way. I don't even know what the plan is for dinner, honestly I am not even hungry, I should be since it's just after 5pm and all I have had today is a bagel and a tea. I hate that weekends have turned into this as of late. I just want to get my head out of the sand and the land of my dreams, especially the impossible ones that will never be able to come true. I'm pretty good about writing about a whole lot of nothong these days, mainly just my feelings of doing nothing and worrying that my life is going to amount to nothing if I don't utilize my weekends appropriately Instead of sitting on the sofa watching Netflix. I should have had more then one paragraph written because its not a matter of not knowing what to do. It's a matter of not having my head in the right place and not being able to understand why my head can't get straight when I need it too. No, I'm not a drinker, no I'm not a substance user other than the occasional toke to relax or deal with pain so I don't have to take Opioids. I'm very responsible when it comes to stuff like that. I just hope it's not because my dad is truly sick and because I am sort of psychic I am feeling things I don't want to feel and the waiting is killing me slowly every day. I know don't put the horse before the cart but I haven't been scared about anything in a very long time. I think it's starting to mess me up and this time no amount skills are able to assist me at this time? I don't know. For now Netflix it is , under my blanket where I truly feel safe for today anyway..