Counselling options
By Junbals
@Junbals (1421)
Philippines
November 26, 2021 11:42pm CST
Oftentimes, I have been accused of contributing to breakup of families. By encouraging spouses of unhappy unions to say goodbye and try to rebuild their lives, critics leveled a finger at me and said that I have caused marriages to disintegrate. As a canon lawyer, I have been working in marriage tribunal which tries applications for marriage nullity.
The fact is I counsel. I discuss options and ask the petitioner and respondent to hold their fire. I ask them to rethink their choices and their consequences. I ask them to think things over carefully before deciding
I do not believe husbands should fool around. I think even "one night stands" are detrimental to a healthy marriage. As a priest, I am a strong subscriber to the values I preach. However, I have a problem when it comes to marriages that are devoid of love.
When a marriage is out of control; when love is non-existent; when betrayal and infidelity is a daily happening; then I think that holy wedlock has become a "holy deadlock".
10 people like this
9 responses
@ptrikha_2 (45489)
• India
27 Nov 21
You are just doing your duty. Plus you give counseling and options to the couples.
If they still disagree how can someone hold you accountable for the breakups?
If still somebody does, they are either mad or foolish!
3 people like this
@florelway (23141)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
27 Nov 21
Some marriages are meant to be destroyed because some marriages started on the wrong foot.
2 people like this
@florelway (23141)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
27 Nov 21
@Junbals. I remembered our college dean telling us during our retreat before our college graduation that the best time to look for a partner is during college because after that all the best were taken. lol, that could have served as my guiding principle because I never married. In our class many of us are not married, we are married to our careers lol and we are glad we are able to cope up with it. Am also glad that those of them who are married have kept the union intact. 
2 people like this
@eileenleyva (27562)
• Philippines
27 Nov 21
You are a priest? And a marriage counsellor?
Anyways, you know more about the canon law than any of us. But I don't think the' holy wedlock should end up in a holy deadlock.' In fact, among my circle of friends and my general acquaintance, marriage remains sacred. Would you care to give us a number of irreparable relationships that has been annulled in a year. What are the reasons? What class in society?
Just want to know if the couples who seek your counsel are spoiled brats or truly with mental illness.
2 people like this
@merrybelle2021 (1389)
• Philippines
27 Nov 21
Is this for legal separation or annulment?
1 person likes this
@Belexhanns (3431)
• Kampala, Uganda
27 Nov 21
I think you give them the advice, and they are ones who take the action to separate, does it mean you are one who separated them!!
2 people like this
@sabtraversa (12941)
• Italy
27 Nov 21
Couples have the right to know they can apply for marriage nullity and, as you said, it's their choice. I'd agree you do nothing wrong. Actually, it must sad for you to know about so many problems and break-ups.
It is not your fault, it's the society that forgot love isn't just something that happens: it takes effort from both sides to make it develop and grow stronger with time. You know the saying, "back in time when something was broken we wouldn't throw it away but fix it". 
1 person likes this
