What's A Faithful Loving Parent to Do?

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From Our Breadcrumbs Ministry: What’s a Devoted, Faithful Parent to Do? Let’s look at the passage relaying this parable. Luke 15: 11-32 chronicles the parable; however at this time, we are only going to read to verse 16: Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. 13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. The scenario is clear. Here is a father who is doing what he is suppose to do as a man. He has provided for his family. He is present in his family. And by the end of the story, we see that he is a man of integrity and honesty. We also see in this parable a self-centered, rebellious son. He is really a brazen punk. He doesn’t just reject and leave his father, he demands that his father go ahead and give him his inheritance. When do children normally get an inheritance? When their parents die. This son was pretty much telling his father that he was dead to him. This isn’t just an adult child who wants to find himself, it isn’t just an adult child who wants to spread their wings and explore their options, this isn’t just a child who has given friends or maybe a girlfriend priority over his parents. This is a cruel, narcissistic son who is demanding from his father, the wealth his father has earned and the provision the father had made for his son once the father had died. He pretty much spit in the face of his father, rejected his love and guidance, and demanded what was not his. The inheritance was not his, yet. It would not be his until his father died. How many times have we heard stories of adult kids or even teen kids leaving home in a cruel or disrespectful manner and they have stolen money, or run up credit cards, or wrecked a vehicle in their parents name, or run up customer tabs in their parents name. Maybe they don’t do anything illegal. Maybe they just take the car their parents bought them or run up emergency credit cards their parents had given them or come back home temporarily because they need something from their parents and then they are off again. The son in our parable: he was living a dangerous, immoral, disgusting, irresponsible lifestyle. He destroyed himself. And where was his father? At home, probably worrying, definitely hurting and heart-broken, surely praying, doubting himself, maybe times of anger with his son, but through it all wishing his boy would come back home. He had no clue what condition his son was in or if he was even alive. And that selfish, little punk kid didn’t care one bit about how his father felt. Even after he lost everything and ended up in a pig pen, eating with them to survive, he still didn’t care about his father. In the next video, we will discuss why the son finally decided to go back home. When I was a teenager, I read a story about a family out on the west coast, I can’t remember the exact state. But they had a daughter who had been an honor student in high school. I believe it was the school drama team where she excelled. She got a scholarship to a college in a neighboring state. Her parents began to worry as she was off at college because she contacted them less and less. Her grades dropped. Through a visit to her dorm to check on her and just see her, they found out she was hanging out with friends who were into the drug scene (although she had not yet started participating in their drug activity). This group was big on hypnosis as a means to deal with the stress of college life and freeing themselves to discover who they really are. The young lady’s parents tried to warn her about these people she had made her new friends. She pretty much kicked her parents out of her life. She told them she realized that these new friends were really the only ones who cared about her. She quit coming home on weekends and quit calling or returning calls. A little over a year went by with these parents praying for their daughter with whom they had no contact. They had their church family praying. The pain was so great that depression set in and both parents were in counseling. Then one day, the father is arrested and charged with child abuse. The daughter had accused him of all kinds of abuse. The investigation was lengthy. It took a serious toll on the father’s health. In the end, he was cleared. The girl had joined a cult (without realizing) who used a hypnotherapist to convince the members that their parents had abused them. If I remember correctly, they forgave her and let her come back into their life, but I imagined there was damage done that has placed a permanent cloud over their relationship. I read, a few years ago, a story of a couple (Sam and Jill) who had five kids. They homeschooled all and they were faithful in church. The whole family was well loved. But as soon as he graduated high school, the oldest announced to his parents that he was leaving and he would let them know where he would be in his time. One day they were fine, the next day he was cutting them off. The pain the parents were experiencing affected their attentiveness to the four kids still at home, so there were issues the whole family had to work through. The father just wiped his hands of the son. He couldn’t deal with always feeling depressed and distressed. The mother was constantly trying to contact the son and figure out what was wrong. He moved off to another state so he could completely cut them off, with no explanation. After a few months, he moved back to his hometown. He contacted his parents and would come over every now and then, especially around holidays. His parents found out that he was engaging in unethical and immoral behavior, but if they tried to talk to him are warn him, he would just attack them verbally and emotionally and cut them off again. The only explanation they ever got from him was he didn’t want to have to live under the influence of their rules. He didn’t’ want them praying for him nor did he want to listen to their conversations about their life and faith. He wanted to live in a non-judgmental atmosphere where he didn’t feel guilty about what the Bible calls sin . He informed them, he had met new people who didn’t judge him and whom he could have fun with and not be made to feel guilty about his choices. Every now and then he will call. He will show up for family holiday gatherings. Every now and them he will tag them in a picture on facebook, but even then, it seems to be to rub in his new life. When his mother tries to talk to him about how much she loves him, he refuses to say it back and will change the subject or end the conversation. He sprinkles them with just enough breadcrumbs of affection to keep them in his life. We will discuss causes and possible solutions in future videos. But for right now, I want to encourage parents, who are experiencing similar circumstances, to embrace hope, comfort, and joy. I am sure many think, when my child comes back home or when I get answers as to why my child rejected me, I will have comfort and joy. Getting answers, a child returning, a child, finally, choosing to love their parents-those are good things. But that is not where our joy and comfort lies. No matter what any of us are going through in life, we will always be living off of breadcrumbs if Christ is not our first love. We will always be living off breadcrumbs if our love for God is not our priority and if our obedience to and worship of Him is not the theme of our lives. When we are distracted to the point of being consumed by hurt and disappointment, we will miss out on the healing God wants to provide. In the story of the prodigal son, most of us know the ending. We know the father and son were reunited. We will discuss that more later. However, in many stories of estranged parents and children, there is not a happy ending. Be assured mom and dad, God cares. His heart breaks for you and with you. Until the next video, let me leave you with these verses: Psalm 23:1-4,6 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me ... Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. This is often used as the go to funeral passage. But this is really a psalm about life. Begin today to allow God to refresh your soul and help you find rest in green pastures. He will be our comfort. His love and goodness is everlasting.