What is love?
By Aparna Sen
@Dreamerby (9729)
Calcutta, India
June 6, 2022 7:36am CST
I don't think my boyfriend is emotionally attached to me. I have expectations from him; he doesn't. I miss him( because we are in a long distance relationship) but he doesn't. However, he likes me. And that is constant. I want to break up with him on days when he doesn't text. But he never thinks of breaking up with me. I am a emotional; he is practical. I change my decisions often, he sticks to one all the time.
When you love someone, don't you have expectations from them? Don't you feel attached to them?
Or is it that only girls have this bag full of emotions tied around their neck? I mean, in general, do boys lack these kind of attachment feelings? As a girl, haven't you ever felt emotionally attached to your partners?
2 people like this
3 responses
@Fa_Maverick (9491)
• Australia
6 Jun 22
Boys dont lack any sort of attachment feelings. They may however have issues expressing them which can stem from a lot of different things. Perhaps one of their parents dismissed their emotions and now they have the memory of being dismissed so they are scared to express them. He may feel attached to you but may not know how to yet and that is okay people figure it out at different rates.
My expectations for my partner? To have respect for himself as well as me, that he grows in his understanding of himself and that he can come to me just as he is.
Love is a bond that you choose to maintain. It's not feelings but it can definitely influence our feelings and it can definitely change. You choose to be with someone even after the honeymoon phase is over and there is no longer that giddy high. You choose to do things for them and you choose to show up.
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (9729)
• Calcutta, India
6 Jun 22
But i really need to know whether he has any kind of attachment for me.
@Fa_Maverick (9491)
• Australia
6 Jun 22
@Dreamerby he said he does didnt he? Honestly thats the best anyone can offer you. There is no way to know for sure if he has an attachment to you at all. Married couples exist but there is absolutely no attachment at all even if they say "I love you." they are just together so they dont need to deal with the snide comments from other people.
If his lack of texting makes you miserable then dont tolerate it anymore and leave. You are teaching him how to treat you. If he isnt texting you on purpose and only does it when he is bored you are showing that he can leave and come back whenever he wants and you will willingly jump on his texts and be so happy he responded.
1 person likes this
@Dreamerby (9729)
• Calcutta, India
12 Jun 22
@Fa_Maverick Yes you are right. May be I should just leave him out of my life's equation. Honestly, I am trying to. But you know it's hard. I know that I don't wanna be treated in this way in a relationship. I just don't know how to break this off. May be ceasing communication is the best way.
1 person likes this
@Jenaisle (16573)
• Philippines
12 Jun 22
I believe if someone truly loves you, he would find time to ask how you're doing and if you're doing fine, He may have a different style because every individual is unique. However, there would always be the urge to make sure your loved one is doing well.
You would miss him/her days on end and would always find ways to communicate. There are various ways to communicate nowadays and this may not be thru text always, but loving someone, whether male of female would find ways to communicate with the loved one.
It's also two-way traffic and not one-way traffic If it's only you who is trying to get in touch, then the relationship would suffer.
1 person likes this
@ihasaquestion (8274)
•
6 Jun 22
Some guys (not all) see expressing themselves as a form of weakness or non-masculine. You can't change them, but you can change your mindset. So, change it.
1 person likes this
