Fake friends

@sissy15 (10972)
United States
August 2, 2022 8:34am CST
High school for me was what nightmares were made of, at least the first couple of years. I feel like that's when I really discovered how horrible people really could be. I tried so hard to fit in and I wasn't particularly good at it. I was never good at being something I wasn't and I'm actually grateful for that now but at the time I always felt like I was nothing. I look back on the first two years of high school as a learning experience. It was there that I learned who my friends were and who they weren't. I had some "friends" that I was in gym class with me. Some I had gotten to know the year before in jr. high. We got to the high school and things quickly changed for whatever reason. I had this all-girls gym class I somehow got stuck in. I hated PE but I thought at least I had my friends there with me. It started out ok and we all grouped up and we ate lunch together but then one day this girl who was a grade older than us came and joined the group and she didn't like me. She found me annoying and maybe I was I don't know, but I definitely didn't deserve the treatment I got after that. One of the girls in the group of "friends" I had was actually my cousin. I never particularly cared for her to begin with. She was just obnoxious towards me and always had been. She made fun of my handwriting (I have fine motor issues and had to work super hard to just make my writing legible) and she told me I should write with my left hand and that it would be just as good. She also used to randomly kick me under the table for who knows what reason. Anyway, she was in the same group and I tolerated her but sometimes I did purposely do things that I knew annoyed her because she wasn't nice to me but the other girl found my annoying her to be annoying. I found myself doing those things when she was starting being rude to me. Eventually, I noticed them starting to separate from me and start laughing at me behind my back and just not being the nicest to me and I wasn't about to stay anywhere I wasn't wanted. I distanced myself pretty quickly. My cousin once asked me to print something for her and considering the fact she was family I felt I had to and I was nice enough to do it for her although if I could go back and do it over I probably wouldn't have. I remember handing it to her and them getting snippy with her and with me because she dared to talk to me and she was like "she did me a favor". She actually ALMOST looked sympathetic towards me but clearly not enough to speak up for me especially considering how snotty she had been to me prior to all of this. The thing is the others would try to pretend like they were my friends when I wasn't in gym class or at lunch. When I was in classes where the other girl couldn't see them around me they all tried to act like they were suddenly my friend and I wanted no part of that. I didn't need fake friends. I remember ignoring them after that. That girl really wanted me to be alone. I never understood why she cared that they talked to me. I would never dictate who someone else was friends with even if I didn't like them. I would suck it up when my cousin was in the group even though I didn't like her most of the time and never once tried to tell anyone they shouldn't be friends with her. She seemed very controlling. You don't have to like everyone but to make others turn on someone seems especially horrible. I often like to believe she did me a favor by showing me who my real friends were and weren't. I remember gym class being super awkward after that. I felt very alone. No one wanted to be partners with me after that. It was difficult. I remember being shoved in that group against my will by the gym teacher one time after that. I was stuck playing tennis with them and they gave me attitude and I snapped and said "I didn't want to be here either so just shove it" and they were purposely making sure I never got a turn but suddenly my brother and his friends drove into the parking lot (I can't remember why they were just then arriving) and suddenly they all started trying to be nice to me and trying to act like they were my friends and I made sure to walk away from them. My brother knew I didn't like them. I rode the bus with one of them and I was talking to someone about something and she suddenly butted in and dared to act like she knew me or was my friend and I rolled my eyes at her and ignored her. Maybe they didn't truly hate me but to treat me the way they did and then try to be my friend the next minute really ticked me off. I was far too nice for my own good back then or I would have told them where to shove it when they tried to pretend to be my friends when it benefited them. I remember I went from this huge table of "friends" to sitting alone for a little bit until I realized my actual friends had a table nearby and I started sitting with them. Had I realized they had a table there I probably would have sat with them sooner. I sat with the other misfits but they were the kind of people I knew I could trust. They were a bit goofy but they were honest and genuinely good people. The kind of people I wish I had made sure I hung out with from the beginning. High school was terrible the first couple of years but boy did I figure out who I could and couldn't trust. I'm grateful I've never truly shared major details about my life with anyone. No way did I want to give them that much material to hold over my head. I ended up going to a career high school my junior and senior years of high school and ironically most of them ended up going there too but we were separated into different areas and we had two buses that took us there and they weren't on my bus or in any of my classes. My cousin was in one of them briefly but she ended up moving out of the area and after that I seldom saw any of them and I couldn't be more grateful. It gave me the power to start over. I still had people there I didn't like and who didn't like me but I enjoyed what I did and focused on academics and didn't really let people know me at all. I was quiet and I studied and I made a few friends along the way but I didn't open myself up and therefore didn't have any real issues. Had a few people try to be jerks to me but I learned to start sticking up for myself. I used to sit in the front row of my English class because it was easier to learn. We didn't have assigned seats but I had sat there forever before one day showing up and this guy snottily said "it's not assigned" I shrugged and moved back to the back. He proceeded to get there first and take the seat and one day I got there first and took the seat back and he walked in and had the audacity to tell me it was his seat and I smiled and said "they're not assigned" after that I had almost no issues with him. I stood my ground and I'm proud of it. That's what I learned from my previous two years of experience. I learned to not talk about myself, I learned to be quiet and blend in, I learned to be kind but also to stand my ground and not just let people walk over me, I learned who I could trust. While I felt hurt at the time I learned a lot from that experience. I don't know what happened to all of the girls but I do know my cousin doesn't have the best life or at least she didn't. She ended up deleting me off FB after having added me to begin with. I didn't deal with her FB rants and I would call her out when she was wrong and she didn't like that so I got booted. I stopped taking stuff. I don't know what happened with the other girls but I've found that I don't really care.
6 people like this
6 responses
@franxav (12939)
• India
2 Aug
However cruel and nasty they had been to you in school, every one of them had to face life. Life is not easy and they all must be getting heckled by their problems.
2 people like this
@sissy15 (10972)
• United States
2 Aug
I honestly don't know how their lives turned out. I just know my cousin's life wasn't the best I don't know if things turned out better for her or not. I know her husband never worked and owed tons in child support for his other three kids he didn't have with her but I know he did get a job later I just don't know if he kept it. Despite it all, I don't wish any of them harm. I just hope they learned to be better people.
2 people like this
@RebeccasFarm (67364)
• United States
5 Aug
I am sorry for those 'friends' you experienced..they sound very insecure. Conversely, I was lucky I had respect in school from all of my classmates, as we went to religious school and there was just no tolerance for misbehavior or snobbishness luckily. While I am not in touch with anyone from school for different reasons, I have nothing but fond memories of class mates.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (10972)
• United States
5 Aug
Thank you, I'm not really sorry it happened to me. I learned a lot from it. I see it as a learning experience. I may have learned lessons the hard way but I learned them. It gave me a greater respect for the true friends I did have and it taught me the type of person I wanted to be. I'm glad you had a better experience than I did. I eventually figured out where I stood with people and had a better last two years of high school when I went to a vocational school and figured out a little more about life. I still have a lot of fond memories of people. My husband actually currently works with one of my former high school acquaintances that I hung out with after this whole incident. I barely talk to her anymore but I do talk to her through FB and she and my husband get along at work. I figure things happen for a reason and at least I had more good people in my life than bad people.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Aug
@sissy15 Yes good you learned. I did not learn horrible things until after grade school. Then all bets were off and I was exposed to the very evil of this world, but I survived it.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (10972)
• United States
5 Aug
@RebeccasFarm My elementary school years were pretty easy. It was jr. high and high school I really learned how difficult life was. Sometimes all we can do is survive.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (7652)
• Raurkela, India
2 Aug
We learn to know people as we grow up. We all have our time. I avoided those the moment they tried to exploit me.I have only one best friend. We were friends since school and are still in touch. As for FB I have kept those in connection who are my well wishers.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (10972)
• United States
2 Aug
I always left when I felt someone didn't like me. The second I realized they were laughing at me and talking about me behind my back I distanced myself. When they tried to be nice to me alone I'd ignore them. I always try to keep a low profile. I am sure none of them see their actions as mean. It wasn't exactly bullying but it was definitely petty and mean. They didn't harass me all the time but made sure I felt unwanted. I made sure to keep my distance. I don't know how any of them turned out but never wished them ill I just always hoped they grew up to be better people than they were in high school. I know my cousin would complain about people treating her kids the way she treated me but she never got the connection.
1 person likes this
3 Aug
@sissy15 I was always the one people would be embarassed to know , so they would only really talk to me if they knew no-one was around lol
1 person likes this
• Raurkela, India
3 Aug
@sissy15 Back biters are there throughout the world. People back bite out of insecurity if you have some good quality or a good personality that good people appreciate. They bully so that they can exploit you. I have faced everything and moved away sometimes and stroke back at some instances.
1 person likes this
2 Aug
I saw one person one time after I left school ...and blotted them out and tried to start again it was such a horrible experience . I used to be such a nice child lol but they made me what I am today I had glue put in my face stabbed with ink pens every day and went home with my jacket cover in spit most days........not sure why I didnt fight back but I always thought they would realise I was actually a nice person
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (10972)
• United States
2 Aug
There was never any violence towards me just girls being petty and mean. I was always super nice too and sometimes too nice for my own good. I think that's a lesson you learn when people are jerks to you or take advantage of you. You learn to stop being nice all the time. I still try to be nice but it doesn't always work. I'm sorry you had to go through that and hopefully you have grown as a person from it. I know it's tough when you have to learn to protect yourself.
1 person likes this
3 Aug
@sissy15 Im still too nice when people insult me which they seem to do lol
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (10972)
• United States
5 Aug
@58lordstreet I am too but I've gotten to the point where I will stand my ground depending on what it is.
1 person likes this
@luisga814 (4723)
• Quezon City, Philippines
2 Aug
Fake friends are always there if you have all the money, but when you don't have money at all, they're gone also.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (10972)
• United States
5 Aug
This is true, but in my case I definitely didn't have any money.
1 person likes this
@luisga814 (4723)
• Quezon City, Philippines
5 Aug
@sissy15 That's great to know that even if you don't have enough money, your real friends are there for you.
1 person likes this
2 Aug
Those seem like extremely toxic people. Glad you figured it out early and managed to protect yourself from the likes of them. Yeah I’m also a big believer of what goes around comes back around and I’m positive they are suffering the consequences of their actions. It’s just the way it goes.
1 person likes this
@sissy15 (10972)
• United States
5 Aug
They were but I moved on. I don't really think much about what happened to them nor do I wish the worst on them. I mostly just hope they grew up and realized how crappy they were back then. I know my cousin doesn't seem to think she ever did anything wrong.
1 person likes this