Also, my body be weird

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Another health update, but this is more so about my body. So, I be thick, I am a big girl, always have been, I have hypothyroidism and that makes it very hard to lose weight. I exercise, I eat fairly healthy, I drink so much water, but I just can't lose weight, so I talked to my doctor and he had me see a dietician and I'm like...oh god, because there isn't anything I hate more than talking about my eating habits. I have a food insecurity, I hate talking about the amount of food that I eat. and even though the majority of the weight I have isn't caused by what I eat, I still have to deal with the trauma of being bullied my entire life about my weight. Doctors always assume I was lazy and ate poorly People bullied me saying that I ate too much So, I ended up having a very unhealthy relationship with food. When people LOVE to talk about their food and then always call themselves fat and stuff, it really gets to me because I'm like...I am so much bigger than you, and you think you are fat? Shut up, yes, it is good to treat your body better, exercise, do what you think is right, but Trust me....you are not FAT Anyway, so I was nervous and I was telling the dietician my eating habits and such and I asked if there was any diet for a person with hypothyroidism and apparently the certified nutritional board doesn't have anything about it?? She said she would email me something about it if she could find anything that isn't nutritional blogs, because those get confusing. Another thing she told me, which is something that literally only my mother has told me, which is something you just don't expect for a person of my size to literally ever hear which is... I don't eat enough Apparently, all these people who have criticized my weight for eating too much, because they don't understand that disorders and diseases exist that cause people to be fat, that caused me to hate my body for the longest time...were wrong? And that the reason why I can't lose weight is because...I don't eat enough. And that really my weight has NEVER be my fault, which I knew, but it is so different to hear a professional actually say this. It is just such a form of clarity to have someone tell you that something you have been struggling with for so long it is not your fault. So...yeah. I am still trying to figure out more healthy eating habits, I think I do pretty well considering the options we have, but actually having to eat more is really getting to me. I just don't know how. But yeah, that is me...my body is weird.