What's My Deal about Talking to Real Live People!?

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his is 'a little difficult to talk about.' I can (and will) blame it on "something that happened to me decades ago---something that's caused me to be cut off from society, stunting my social growth." But I have to deal with it 'the way it is' if I want to improve it, so I'll start there. To explain ... well, here's what's happening: a friend invited me to go to the mall with her. I live with my mother (because of that 'something that happened to me'), and I NEVER go out (except when I go to meet with a group of 'something happening'-survivors or -to a family get-together). (Maybe I should've written all this before I told her, as I guess 'writing my problems' helps me clear them up in my mind (and hopefully in yours too).) That gets to 'my deal.' It's probably a lot of 'little deals' I discuss all over The Net, but--to summarize--I think of something a counselor said about me: "He's got a huge heart!" And I don't think she was saying I have "Cardiomegaly," but rather 'that I care how I make you feel.' That makes me unable to communicate clearly ... if I feel that 'something I'm saying' is making you uncomfortable, I'm apt to stop and let you ask about it (even though it's probably something I'll address in the very next phrase I speak). I think that's why I like singing, reading aloud, and speaking-parts in scripts; the complete phrase is there, and people will generally let you speak the whole thing before they can react to the little part they don't like.