My friend has been cheated on

United Arab Emirates
December 1, 2006 11:29am CST
a really good friend of mine has just found out that shes been cheated on by the guy that she is engaged to. she found out that hes been cheating on her for more than a year . shes really hurt and just wont stop crying - shesstaying with me for a couple of days - and i wanna be able to support her and help her - but im at a loss for what to say to her i dont know what exactly to say - how i can be there for her - and im afraid that i might say the wrong thing. do you guys have any advice on how i can help her and be there for her ? or maybe something that i can do to make her feel better and to let her know that im there for her? she is a really good friend of mine - but she moved to another country and we lost touch for a couple of months
1 person likes this
19 responses
@Ravenladyj (22936)
• United States
1 Dec 06
well let her cry it out for now and just keep telling her better now rather than AFTER they've been married and have kids etc...its a crappy reality but reality all the same..once she has calmed down some just remind her that she is WAY better than that and deserves love, respect and honesty and she shouldnt settle for anything less than that which this guy obviously is....and in time when she has calmed down some more tell her to take some time to herself to heal her wounds and get back on track within herself and eveything will be fine.....
1 person likes this
• United Arab Emirates
1 Dec 06
thankyou - that was very helpul. thankyou. its just going to be hard to talk to her ..
• India
2 Dec 06
just know her reality. i know it will be very tough to u but u have to do. because if trust breaks in love once it will never hapened again between lovers. she will cry for some days but afterwards she will be happy. and ya love cant stand on the base of cheating.
• United Arab Emirates
2 Dec 06
thankyou - she is still hurting - i think perhaps if i show her this page - do u think it would help her? some of the things written here make so much sense..
• United Arab Emirates
2 Dec 06
thankyou - she is still hurting - i think perhaps if i show her this page - do u think it would help her? some of the things written here make so much sense..
@chiyosan (30194)
• Philippines
2 Dec 06
there is really nothing she can do about the person who cheated on her. she must be strong and be firm with her decision. they say we should never give another chance to cheaters. i guess that's what you have to tell her. her fiance can only make things worst if she got back with him, she will again be hurting, and may not stop thinking if he is doing it again. he can be forgiven but the thing he did must not be forgotten.
• United Arab Emirates
2 Dec 06
thankyou- iknow that she does wanna take him back - bcoz she still does love him - but i hope shell have the strenghth to say no
@TJtwix (49)
2 Dec 06
there is not alot you can say. you are doing the right things just be there to listern and comfort her good luck
• United Arab Emirates
2 Dec 06
thankyou - im a bt worried she just hasnt stopped crying at all ...
• United States
1 Dec 06
Just listen. You don't want to say anything bad about him and have her end up staying with him, she will remember the stuff you said and you dont' want to encourage her to stay if and have her resent you later. Just listen and walk the line. She is going to have to work the rest out with him on her own.
• United Arab Emirates
1 Dec 06
yeah , i agree about not saying anything really bad about him - because she still loves him. thankyou
• India
2 Dec 06
help him out and brig him out of deppression, keep him in company always.
@michele609 (1687)
• United States
2 Dec 06
I would have to say that she needs time to herself jus let her know that you are there for her and if she needs to talk to you you are ther. It hurts when someone you love hurts you. it feels like all you world has falling down, try to keep her mind off of him, and try to keep him a distance from her. She will be ok, but it does take time!
@khysnews (743)
• Indonesia
2 Dec 06
I'm not Sure
@Darkwing (21588)
2 Dec 06
Red Rose - A red rose, on a piano keyboard.
Your friend needs you to be strong in her weak times. She needs you to listen to her. Let her talk it out of her system, reason with herself and cry her tears dry. What I might suggest is that you try to coax her out for a walk, just you and her, somewhere quiet, maybe somewhere there is some water, a pond, a waterfall, the sea. Sit close to the water and let her talk... hold her if necessary... actions speak louder than words. I find water a very calming element, and she may be able to find herself more easily in this environment. One thing she doesn't really want to do is to shut herself away in hurt. Show her the beauty of nature and life and I'm sure it will perk her up. Good luck... this is a very difficult situation, and I hope your friend soon finds that there is much more in life for her than a cheating fiance. The "right one" will come along, when she least expects it. He is not the one.
@fl0urish (5385)
• India
2 Dec 06
hmm first listen to what she says ..try to understand her problem...discuss the topic as u are her frnd she will share it try to find out the prob...and support her and if she is wrong in any case point it out and make her feel comfortable
@khysnews (743)
• Indonesia
2 Dec 06
I'm not Sure
• Philippines
2 Dec 06
dont be afraid to tell all the nice things and advices to her..just be honest in your opinions..let her feel that your there for her no matter what..if possible send a message to her so that day by day she can recover the bad things of her past..or try to go out say go to church or go malling and the like to let her divert her attention..i consider going to another country was a nice move
• United States
2 Dec 06
This is her grieving period, just be there for her to talk to and morale support for what she is going through
• Romania
2 Dec 06
first of all hy...i'm ana from romania. i can really give you an advice.you can tell your friend that she will really have to let him go away.becouse if he was able to do such a thing that means that he dosent love her anf she dosent have to stay whit a man like that.if now he was able to do such a thing what he could do after a few years???? somethinmes life is very cruel and in our life are happening bad and hard things.but we have to learn to pass by and leave our lifes.we only have one damb life and we are not soppose to leave it in a wrogn or bad way. tell your friend to rease her had and go on to leave her life whit someone who could apreciate her for what she is and love her exactly how she is,whit her good and bad things. its not that hard,if she really wants to be happy she will do it. try to convince her that is the best way.she will sufer of corse she will,its hard but she will be able to pass by if you could just be near her and help her.go out whit her,go shopping,do nice things toghether.but remember!!!!do not exagerate whit trying to make her forget him!!!let her forget her dont you dear make her forget him becouse you will make the situation much harder for her.all the things that she would do will make her think of him.....take her easyly holp that i helped you...take care
• India
2 Dec 06
just kill him d
@HimArticles (1138)
• India
2 Dec 06
A friend is always for these types of tough circumstances. Really this is very tough situation for you as well. You can’t do not very much for her don’t remind her again and again those movements. Talk with her only those topics which feel her good. Help her in forgetting the past; if it is possible then suggest her to leave that place for some time which helps her in forgetting the past.
@doctorul (1063)
• Romania
2 Dec 06
Nothing surprising! This kind of things are part of the game named life!
• India
2 Dec 06
just know her reality. i know it will be very tough to u but u have to do. because if trust breaks in love once it will never hapened again between lovers. she will cry for some days but afterwards she will be happy. and ya love cant stand on the base of cheating.
• Finland
2 Dec 06
just support her. time is the only answer now..