Thoughts Astray: Ever witnessed tragedy and suffering?

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My partner's mom spent the last six months of her life at the hospital. The hospital was understaffed so as one of her carers, it felt like I was also working there as a nurse, attending to her needs in ways that I could. That one afternoon, her eldest was there too. Sitting at the other side of the room. We we're laughing, made jokes as I finished up with our usual grooming routine and that's it. It was still a happy moment because she looked content, and just sleeping like a baby. She never paid me a visit in my dreams. I guess she was that happy despite the difficulty to express herself back then. Everything was so uncalled for and seven years later, I'm still wondering why I was the one beside her when she finally bid farewell. I also don't know why it was only a month later since her passing when I cried my heart out.