Funny Songs Top Ten: Tennessee Plates (#5)

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Back to the normal schedule today. Sticking with the humor, too. I’ve used this one before, and I’ll use it again! It’s one of my favorites (so you’re probably wondering why it’s “only” #5 on the top ten). Let’s get in a drive! #5: Tennessee Plates - John Hiatt Before you say “nope,” if you’ve seen Thelma and Louise you have my sympathies….I mean, you’ve heard this. Charlie Sexton sang it in the bar scene. (That was the most pleasant thing in that movie for me…I had to watch it in a college class, and I absolutely loathed it.) As for me…if you remember that tour of Brushy Mountain Prison in Tennessee I took a few years ago, the main reason I went was because of this song! Yesterday it was Warren Zevon, and today it’s the closest thing to Zevon I’ve heard, and my favorite living songwriter. John Hiatt had one thing in common with Zevon: alcohol. Hiatt is over 35 years sober. (Interesting side note: the “story” is that, when Zevon locked himself in his apartment and lived on his pain meds and scotch shortly after his terminal cancer diagnosis, his record label recruited Hiatt to finish Zevon’s album. Don’t know if it’s true, but it’s the stuff of legend.) Hiatt has the same sense of humor that Zevon had, so it seems like a good fit. I mean, check out Hiatt’s song “Wood Chipper,” which was probably inspired by the scene in Fargo. Here he starts off talking about hearing a news report about a stolen Cadillac. Well, he tells the story how it was him they were looking for: he picked up a hitchhiker and they started a crime spree (“three bank jobs later, four cars hot wired”) that put them in Memphis, with one objective: to swipe one of Elvis’ Cadillacs. They failed, even though his rationale was pretty good (“he wouldn’t care, hell, he gave ‘em to his friends!”), and it turns out that he’s doing a 5-8 year stretch at Brushy Mountain….making Tennessee plates. Even though I just told you the entire song, Hiatt presents it a lot better. Sonny Landreth’s smoking slide work is a bonus, too. Tennessee Plates Written by John Hiatt and Mike Porter Recorded by John Hiatt From Slow Turning, 1988 I was never king of nothin’ but this wild weekend: