Pepsi Pours It On (MyLot Exclusive #1464)

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Before the Deep State can fill you up with their lies that they present as rules, let me make it very clear: This is not another secret coded message to my Bookie reeking of illegal insider trading because how else would I know which Soda Giant to place a substantial bet on in this latest battle in the Soft Drink War? For the millionth time, I don't know anything about secret coded messages or how to write them. I'm just a greeting cards salesman. And if I did know how to write them, I wouldn't, because they strike me as being shady and underhanded. So, if you're a new, inexperienced DA searching for a quick way to make a big name for yourself, you're going to need to keep looking elsewhere for your Perry Mason Moment. Nor is it exclusively, or maybe also, a secret coded message to the generals conducting the Winter Offensive for one side or the other of the aforementioned Soft Drink War. And if it were, you would be wise to not open that pressurized can of classified documents and other sources of information because it would very quickly overwhelm you. But, it's not, so you don't have to worry about that. What's that? Jack Smith can handle it, so you can, too? Not so fast. I know Jack Smith and you are no Jack Smith. What this is, is simply just another example of me having nothing to write about due to my total lack of imagination combined with another case of Chronic Long Writer's Block. So, have to tell you the boring story of what I really did today. The Chief sent me to Sacramento in 1968 this morning and they were constantly playing the "Pepsi Pours It On" jingle on the radio and TV. That's why it became the title of this Post. So, just forget all those crackpot theories about codes, wars and insider trading. And even if they are real, you need to forget them even more because they are way over your head. Why was I sent to Sac in 1968? Oh. It was just for the seventh most common and usual reason. To convince Linda Rondstadt to move out of the Governor's Mansion. If you remember correctly, she did live in the California Governor's Mansion for a while. Starting in 1975, with Jerry Brown. Not 1968, with Ronald Reagan. She didn't even have a hit record yet at that point. So, how did she end up there seven years too early? Some say that it was part of a sinister plot to completely confuse this timeline. Others say that it was a dangerous though honest and unintentional mistake by a new untrained clerk in the Historic Affairs Scheduling Department. I think it's the latter. But it's not for me to say. It's another investigation for another Department and they will have the final word. Anyway, I found Linda, in an upstairs bedroom, explained the problem to her and she was totally cool with leaving until the appointed time in 1975. Then, I said, "I have a sudden craving for a Mai Tai, would you like to go to Honolulu with me for a few days?" She said, "That sounds nice 'cause I'm a little thirsty, too." I won't bore you with the rest of the details. With that in mind, let's go to 1968, cause you look thirsty this time, and see what the Cosmic Universal Anthem Song Of The Month Club Song For Today is. The song is also not a coded message to anyone, so there's no need to try to figure out if, "All I really want to do, Is baby, be friends with you, Baby, be friends with you," tells the whole truth. ************** All I Really Want To Do By, Cher