Confusion over feelings?

United States
December 2, 2006 2:02am CST
Hello all. I'd like a little advice, and I hope you can help. See, lately I've been very confused about my feelings for this guy. He's very sweet, we get along great, we both have the same interests and I love hanging out with him, and we're good friends. When I think about dating him, I can't help but feel like it would be creepy. But at the same time, I get attracted to him, and whenever he gets close I start blushing (and other things) and have to move away so he doesn't realize it. Still, I think it would still be odd, and I'm not sure it's a good idea. Plus, I know that I could never make any sort of move, because I'm just too shy, and I think he would take it the wrong way. So, that said, does anyone have any advice? What would you do in my situation?
6 people like this
62 responses
@dan20071 (724)
• Romania
2 Dec 06
Hmmm, if I was in your position I would try to see if the guy likes me or not. You can observer his moves and body language wjile you are there with him. Even though you said that you are very shy, you must think of that as a quality and not as something repulsive. From what I see that you are saying, I understand that you consider this guy more a friend than a potentil partner in life. But because you blush when he gets close means that you also have feelings for him and that you would like to take your relationship a little bit further. If you feel that he likse you too, you should just go ahead and go out with him, at least that way you will know if he's good for you or not. If not, don't worry, your friendship will last but you won't feel strange when you are around him. That's my advice for you, good luck ^_^
3 people like this
• Indonesia
2 Dec 06
you have every right to express your feelings. no need to be shy about it! just make sure that your feeling towards him is real, and let him know - otherwise you'll be sorry to let him go :-)
2 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 06
Thank you for the comment ^_^ You're right. I do view him mostly as a friend, and I wouldn't want to lose that, because he's the type to stop talking to someone if they've broken up (believe me, 've seen it with all his other girlfriends, he just gets so uncomfortable around them). However, next time I see him, I'll see how it goes. Thanks!
3 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 06
I would have to say that if you get weirded out when imagining you two actually dating, then I believe you are just attracted to him physcially, either you guys are two close, too different, or something else. Either way you might want to find out how he feels about you, it isn't the easiest thing for you to do I understand but try asking him how he feels about you two being together.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 06
You're probably right: We're very close, so it's mostly likely that. I'm pretty sure I know how he feels about me, and so I know if I ever brought it up it would all be on my shoulders to make the decision, which is why I never have, because I still don't know. Thank you for the kind help though, lovely *hugs*
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Dec 06
Anytime, I hope things work out in your favor ^-^ Good luck. I definately understand being shy so it's not an easy thing to do.
@chiyosan (30213)
• Philippines
2 Dec 06
if you are confused, dont be. think about what he might be feeling for you too. i mean, does he show signs of interest to you? he must have sent his own signals that you are too worried to have noticed.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Dec 06
Yes, he does, actually. But he's the kind of guy thats like that with most girls, so I'm never sure if it's me or just the fact that I'm female (he's the gentleman type, yuo know, opens doors and never hits a lady, that sort of thing).
3 people like this
@rms2727 (815)
• India
3 Dec 06
hte situation looks quite confusing, but how about taking the initiative and learning more about this guy before you go any further. if you make efforts to understand him i think the confusion will come down and you will be able to find the way out on your own. you have to find out what kind of a person he is and what are his feelings for you, all the best
2 people like this
@ru88en (2997)
• Philippines
3 Dec 06
Just be natural and confident. Focus on building your self esteem. Good luck, you may have a wonderful love life ahead of you.
2 people like this
@sugaree (109)
• Philippines
3 Dec 06
well, thats kinda tough... because its very unusual for girls to stand in front of the guy he likes, and with head held up high, tell him that she likes him... it takes great courage for a girl to do that.. sometimes, you just have to wait until he does that himself... but just think about it, would you just sit in one corner and guess how he feels about you too? though its unusual, i still think its good to let it all out.. that is, if you know you couldnt just keep it all inside.. and if you dont want to keep on asking questions like "what if"... but you should be ready for whatever comes out of it.. think about it, and weigh things up... i hope you'd be happy with whatever decision you'll end up with... just remember, you'll never know if something is worth it if you dont try...God bless..
@wahmoftwo (1298)
• United States
3 Dec 06
I would just let things go along naturally. If there is anything there that is mutual, then it will come out sooner or later! Good luck!
• India
3 Dec 06
first u conform from him that will he marry u and have a life with u .so if he really love u then u can sit together and say that wat r ur feelings.if he really love u and want life with u then he understand ur feelings and he also does wat u like to b
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Dec 06
I think that may be a little extreme, she has a crush on the guy they are not yet dating and pressuring him into marrying her is not a good idea. The first step is letting him know how she feels.
@cr1st1nel (3566)
• Romania
3 Dec 06
In life you always have to fight for what are you thinking. In your case i give you the advice to pass over the shyness and ask him if he feels the same for you.. from here th e things may evolve.. Good luck to you!
1 person likes this
@malsun (1528)
• United States
3 Dec 06
you have asked the question and also answered it yourself. If you think it would be creepy and odd and not a good idea to date this man. than that is your answer and my advice - dont date him. get new friends and move away from him.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Dec 06
You need to find out how he feels and then decide what you want to do? Think about it, don't make a quick decision.
1 person likes this
@emarie (5447)
• United States
3 Dec 06
well...i would just live out the friendship...i'm the shy type too and if he makes the move then flow with it. you don't want to comprimise friendship unless both of you are attracked to each other.you're young and over time he might realize his feelings for you and then come for you, if you're available at the moment...then great...
1 person likes this
@Ambur25 (1007)
• United States
3 Dec 06
"He's very sweet, we get along great, we both have the same interests and I love hanging out with him, and we're good friends. When I think about dating him, I can't help but feel like it would be creepy." Maybe you view him more of a "brother" type person? Maybe your eyes are attracted to the kind of person he is. But your heart says he's wrong for the romantic side of you. Always listen to your heart darlin'. The heart see's what the eyes cannot. =)
• Philippines
3 Dec 06
HI KIYOKINO! what can i say.. cherish your current situation, it can only happen ones in a blue moon. so don't rush ok. just go with the flow, if he's too sweet to you, then, be like that also to him. do not get annoyed sis about the "feelings" or "mutual feelings" that you have for that guy. let the days pass enjoying each others company. then, you'll never know, right time will come, and he'll step in front of you telling those magic words.. hemhemhem... =) what i'm trying to say is.. relax sis, let him be the first one to tell you that he likes/loves you.
1 person likes this
@matrix23 (260)
• India
3 Dec 06
hmm.. first dont be in a dilemma.. its a very bad thing to do.. be this or tht.. take this or that.. u think it'll be better for u if u leave ur shy.. thats the best way i suppose..or he might really think u bad
1 person likes this
@MsBond (45)
• Canada
3 Dec 06
well either you like him or you don't like him. could you imagine giving him a kiss? there's always a first kiss and if it doesn't feel right then just be friends it would suck to lose a friend.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Dec 06
I think you might feel odd about the idea of dating him because you are so close to him it would almost be like dating family :(. What your feeling might have come because you are so close to him and you might be feeling ready for a relationship and if you can have one with him that would be perfect. A close friend and love all wrapped into one. I think it would be best to just keep him as a friend especially since you already think a relationship might be weird and see if he ever tries to start something.
1 person likes this
@Fragile (361)
• Philippines
2 Dec 06
feelings - feelings
Just be yourself. It's not a crime having crush for someone. I guess, it would be better if you remain silent on how you feel.
1 person likes this
@meljessxena (2316)
• Australia
2 Dec 06
he would probably take it the wrong way as thinking you dont like him, really sit and think about it, and if you like the guy then i think you need to make a move (try put shyness behind) if you come up with no then best to pull away and leave like that before the relationship gets wrecked.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36683)
• United States
2 Dec 06
Well, for me, I would really maybe seek out your wishes. Write down the Good things, and the Bad things about this guy. Why you want to Date him, etc. Then look these all over, and decide what is best in this situation. If you are a Praying person, Pray about it, and let God show you the way in this situation. I know it can be ackward having feelings for someone who is a close friend like this, but if things are meant to be, then it will happen.