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Today was yet another exhausting day. One of the kids they have me working with just wears me out. I put up with way more than I should have to from him. He's super sweet and cute but he is just hyper and doesn't like to listen. I don't know many people who could put up with the things I do for the pay I do. Today when said child was trying to wipe his slobber on me the art teacher stepped in and took him and talked to him. She was mortified for me and when I told her I deal with this kind of behavior all day long she was like "I feel sorry for you, that's not right" and it's like no it's not but this is what I deal with just the same. The teacher I work with feels for me too but there's only so much they can do. Today the teacher was being observed by the principal which is a yearly thing that is done usually before contract negotiation and she was like "I hope our friend is up to his usual antics so he can see what we are dealing with" Of course in true form he was just as bad as usual and so much so the principal had to take him to the side and talk to him not that it worked at all because this kid doesn't care. I don't think he can help a lot of it. He needs some ADHD meds and to be worked with in a way his parents don't work with him. There is a lot going on in this kid's brain and sometimes I just feel bad for him and other times I'm beyond frustrated with him. Today when he was acting horrible he had the audacity to tell me he wasn't going into the classroom until I apologized to him which I told him I owed him nothing and that if anything I deserved an apology for the way he was talking to me. I told him I only apologize when I do something wrong which I did not and was only correcting his behavior. There are definitely days I question how I handle things. Sometimes I feel like I should have done or said something differently but in the moment it takes everything in me to not say some of the things I'd really love to say. I understand kids are not adults and a lot of them have stuff going on but there are just days I have to knock the sarcasm and smart remarks out of my head so I can talk to them. I have had to resolve a lot of issues and a lot of it is stuff I am not trained to deal with. I found out recently that they are no longer hiring full time paras despite there being a ton of openings for them. We have had people leave and they were never replaced. Whoever decided that is a moron who does not have to deal with the ramifications of this decision. We are struggling to stay above water and they are shuffling people all over trying to make sure the kids who need a para have one and there are still a lot who don't have anyone. I find the people who make the decisions about class sizes and who gets hired have absolutely no clue what is actually going on in these buildings. They've never been in the classrooms yet get to make the decisions regarding them. It's frustrating. No one should have to deal with the amount of chaos going on in these classrooms. I think the principal got a small idea of what I'm dealing with today. I'm a one on one who is working with two kids one of which doesn't even have access to a para but can't function without one and probably needs one more than the buddy I work with for behavioral reasons. My actual buddy is super sweet and only needs me for academic purposes. I love them both but I have a special spot in my heart for the actual kid I'm assigned to. He's the main reason I agreed to move up with this group. I really loved the kid I worked with before him too but that kid moved and I often wonder how he is doing now. I've been told on several occasions they can't picture me working with anyone but the kids I've worked with but the truth is you learn to adapt to whatever kid you work with. It helps that I have a sense of humor and am able to handle a lot because of that. I don't take things too personally. You have to have the right amount of sternness but also be able to joke with them and laugh at yourself or them or you will never survive. You have to be able to figure out what your kid needs and act accordingly. It can be a struggle depending on the kid. There are definitely kids I'm happy I'm not working with. I've gotten really lucky with my actual assignments. Not so lucky with my other buddy but I still love him just the same. I feel for him. I know he doesn't have the greatest home life and I know that part of the reason he is the way he is is because of his parents not getting him what e needs. Having empathy and understanding goes a long way too. I am just exhausted sometimes and wish they'd at least give us higher pay.