Ask what you can give for your God is what Jesus wants to tell us

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I haven't been here over 7 months,about half a year,i'd been editting my works and thinking of what truly disillusionism is.Finally i created my best book"The Bubble of LifeRemake of disillusionism" on Zlibrary. Still as before,no one cares what i say because i'm just a nobody,i'm not coming from Harvard University,or having a powerful and rich family.I did everything as the Prediction said which told me that there is a Messiah who was born in a Chinese peasant Family,he is the Second Confucius,shows the way to the heaven and save Chinese again from the hell. Unfortunately,i'm not that Messiah,all i did turns disillusioned,what's is the disillusionism?Hard to say,i only can you'll understand it when your life is totally screwed but still hold what you love deeply from your teenhood.That's a hard choice which will turn you from a human into a ghost,that ghost-like life and hell-like environment,no one can endure but Jesus I have to say i've been grumbling about my life.Since China totally conquered world market and the Second Cold War,i lose every hope.Now Donald Trump becomes a clown under the Communist Invasion,he could nothing but surrender to China.Satan wins all,that's the ending of our world. But do i feel upset?Not at all,because i find ask what you can give for god is what Jesus wants to tell us.First,God don't owe us anything but we killed his Crown Prince-Jesus and still have incredible sins living in this world.Second,Grace always follows with the price,you give nothing to God nothing will change.Third we're the sheep and maid of the God,not his owner. So when we hate this world and curse,think twice,what can we give for God?Do we let God down?How will God value our life? Personally,i did my best to warn this world to quarantine China and its evil Communist ideology,and wrote thousands of poems to prove that i could be 21th Century Chinese John Keats.Meanwhile,i forsook the Communist education and chose to be a poor peasant to serve God with my conscience.Surely,in China-This Modern Sodom,my life is pathetic and desperate,but i never regret.Because i know there's the supreme grace is waiting for me above. Where shall i go?After i did so much,still no miracle or angel comes to save me out of Communist China,i don't know.I guess i'll prepare to waiting for the death silently.If Communist arrests me someday,i'll choose to be St.Peter to sacrifice my blood to pray to God:"Save Chinese People,lead them to the freedom." That's all,thanks for reading.