What a long day...

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Today has been tiring! Yesterday, I felt like I had more energy, and when I woke up this morning and saw the mess that the kids left the house in, namely the kitchen, I was so upset! They completely destroyed it, and I had just cleaned it last night! I have been to the hospital quite a lot lately. My legs have been swelling up and I don't know why. I got some tests at the hospital and it is not congestive heart failure (good) and it probably isn't DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis), but they couldn't see the veins in my calves due to the edema. It had gone down a little, but not much when I developed COVID and had to be hospitalized for a week, and put on oxygen. It was scary, so I was very relieved to go home. I didn't want to go back any time soon. Then the other day, my legs started to swell again...a lot! They hurt so bad that I couldn't put pressure on them at all, let alone walk or do anything else. Back to the hospital I went! I was terrified that they would admit me again, but they didn't. They checked again for DVT, same result. So they gave me a dose of Lasix and sent me on my way. Apparently, giving me a prescription is dangerous because Lasix can deplete your potassium and my PCP should be monitoring that. Now I have to try and get an appointment with my PCP (By the way, I always thought that stood for "Primary Care Physician" but apparently it is "Primary Care Provider" Mine is a PA (Physician's Assistant, so I guess that makes sense) which should be fun! So, back to the kitchen. My legs are swollen, I had just cleaned the kitchen, and every cupboard was open, the counters were dirty, and the sink was full of dishes again. I really don't get angry with my kids anymore (I'm 46 and been raising kids for 27 years, if anything parenting taught me to have the patience of a saint) but I did express to them how much that it hurt that they knew I was sick, and they didn't bother to clean up after themselves, when I had just spent hours cleaning it. It took me too long to learn that guilting into feeling bad about now respecting me and appreciating what I do was easier with disappointment than anger. So, today I spent doing dishes and laundry instead of things that I want to do like crocheting my oldest son a blanket for his birthday (His birthday was in March, but I didn't order enough yarn. He's into natural fabrics, and I ordered the wool yarn from Ireland) or crafting cute things with or for my kids. Crafting, reading, and binge-watching mind bending shows are among my favorite things to do. No, I didn't make them clean it, because I knew I'd only have to go in and clean it again, and that is part of the problem. Maybe I don't have as much patience as I think I do. Well I'm off to get a few things done, and maybe even crochet awhile before bed. Sometimes I feel more like a grandma than a mom lol. I hope you are all having a wonderful night or day, depending where you are in the world, and I'll check back in tomorrow. It's been a long time, and I've missed this place.