It's TACO Tuesday, Ya Beatniks! (Mylot Exclusive #1939)

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Fifi, my favorite Upstairs Sommelier and Chief Executive Vice President In Charge Of Alcoholic Affairs, asked me to get some pumpernickel this morning. I asked her why and she said, "Because Oktoberfest is only three months away now ((Because of German efficiency, half of Oktoberfest is in September)) and I want to get in the mood by having Belegte Brote and beer for lunch. I like my Belegte Brotes on pumpernickel and we're out of it." I am heavily in favor of anything that gets her in the mood. Doubly so when it involves beer and food. It would have been better if she were in a dessert mood because whipped cream works better for what I'm in the mood for. But you know what they say about beggars and choosing. So I went to Drucker's General Store and said, "Sam, give me two loaves of your best pumpernickel." He said, "Sorry, Greg. I don't have pumpernickel anymore. It has been replaced with pumperquarter." He went on to explain that the Trump Slump and TACO tariffs forced his imported pumpernickel supplier, a little bakery in Hamelburg, to change the name of its export pumpernickel to pumperquarter, change the package size, and increase the price until we get a real President again. I was outraged. "You mean I have to pay five times as much for half as much bread?" I asked, minus the expletives. "That's about the size of it," Sam answered. "Don't blame me. I didn't vote for him. And whew! Do you kiss your favorite Upstairs Sommelier and Chief Executive Vice President In Charge Of Alcoholic Affairs with that filthy mouth?" "Never mind what I do with my mouth! And you better make it four loaves since they are half-sized now. Oh, add six cans of whipped cream, too." With that in mind, let's go to earlier tonight, to see what the Cosmic Universal Anthem Monologue Of The Month Club Anthem Monologue For today is. Order your Trump Phone today! It's the only phone that is not all computer! They are so not computer, the Amish are allowed to have them! ************* Trump Hawks Phones in Newest Grift, Bails from G7 Summit & The Curious Case of MyPillow Mike Lindell