Here's The Mail: July 28th 2025

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When we got back from town, I opened the mailbox and BAM—four packages waiting like tiny cardboard gremlins. I was expecting one or maybe two, tops. But four? What did I do to deserve such a bounty? (Besides, you know, having zero impulse control with online shopping.) I snapped pics of three of the mystery treasures. The fourth one was handed directly to the 12-year-old, who is currently unconscious and dreaming of sugar, chaos, and probably frogs wearing hats. So no photo of that one—yet. Clockwise, like a weird, wonderful catalog: An Ozzy Osbourne T-shirt (perfect for when I want to channel my inner bat-biting rock legend). A three-pack of "just add water" bubble sponges—ideal for camping or pretending your bathroom is a 5-star spa while your cat stares in judgment. An axolotl shirt for the kid, because if it looks like a smiling aquatic Pokémon, we’re buying it. And finally, a T-shirt that simply says Feelin' Feral—which might just become my new life motto. And that’s the official mailbox report for today. Did you get anything good, or just more coupons and mild existential dread in envelope form?