It's Friday, Ya Beatniks! Totally Ontime Thirsty Thursday Edition! (Mylot Exclusve #1967)

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It's been a hectic week, Radio Rangers. I had to watch the new episode of "Southpark." And then I had to cancel my Paramount+ subscription. All that on top of trying to enjoy my vacation. "It makes sense that you canceled Paramount because you idolize Jack Benny and you're trying to out-cheap him. But, Sir, you never watch Southpark because the high squeaky voices grate on your nerves. So, explain yourself. And what's this about a vacation? Is that why you haven't been to work in the last 273 days? Explain this unauthorized vacation as well." The squeaky voices indeed bother me, but this episode overcame the annoying voices by putting Dopey DonOld literally in bed with Satan. And exposing all his shortcomings via full frontal nudity. I'm not a fan of male nudity but in this case, it was proper, reasonable, and fitting. If you want to see a bit of it, there is a short clip linked below. As for the vacation, it was just a small one. I wanted a bigger one, but it didn't look like rain. And if it snowed, that stretch down south would have never stood the strain. Did I tell you that my newest side hustle is "Lineman For The County?" Wichita County, to be precise. Many people are calling me, "The Wichita Lineman." I hear you singing in the wire. I can hear you through the whine. And I need you more than want you. And I want you for all time. And the Wichita Lineman is still on the line. "This isn't a Tinder profile, Sir. So why are you giving me all this useless information? Are you trying to fire my imagination, Sir?" Oh, little lady, if I were trying to fire your imagination, you'd know it. Because you'd be on your hands and knees right now, breathlessly gasping and moaning, 'Sir, my imagination has never been this fired before. How do you do it?' If you want a clearer and far less censored idea of what that would look like, go to Section 4700 of my MyLot AfterDark Channel. "You'd be a lot more convincing, Sir, if you smoked the same cigarettes as me. So, why don't you just tell me about this small vacation you just took that kept you away from work for 500 days?" It all started last Thursday. I was just hanging out here in my office, driving the main road, per my job description, searching in the sun for another overload, when I received my draft notice. It said: ############# #Greeting: You are hereby ordered for induction into the Armed Forces Of The United States and to report at Mar-Lago at six AM on Friday morning. ############# Only "Armed Forces Of The United States" was crossed out and written above it in black Sharpie was "The biglieist fun golf weekend ever in the history of fun and golf." The message was weird because it looked like pubic hair. And golf was misspelled. Since it is not mine to reason why, I packed and charted a course for West Palm Beach. The next thing I knew, I was in Scotland. It was exhausting because I don't play golf, and every few seconds, I had to say, "Sorry, but don't blame me, I voted for Kamala." I was nearly arrested for attempted murder, too. It happened the same way it always does every time I go to Scotland. I ordered a drink. All I said was, "This Macallan 40 Year Old looks acceptable. So bring me a liter of it. And two liters of your best ginger ale. The best ginger ale is imported from Canada, so that's the one I want. Don't try to fool me with the cheap stuff. I also need a tall glass with lots of ice. And a swizzel stick. Tell the bartender, I'll do the mixing myself." The waiter went very pale and collapsed due to a massive coronary event, and after the paramedics restarted his heart, the police tried to arrest me. Thank God, Greyhound, and DopeyDonOld for Diplomatic Immunity. Still, my weekend wasn't as bad as that of my host, the aforementioned Dopey DonOld. He discovered, the hard way, that everyone everywhere, even in Scotland, wants to know about the Epstein Files ((Tumrp Can't Escape Epstein Questions in Scotland, Calls Epstein Island a "Privilege": A Closer Look, Video Linked Below)). And they all believe that cheating at golf is low-class and low IQ. Especially when you know a thousand cameras are watching you. On top of that, he is losing his base, the weak, stupid, and useless people who voted for him. Even Jake Chansley, AKA Jake Angeli, AKA the QAnon Shaman ((Even the QAnon Shaman Is Turning on Trump Over Epstein: ‘F*** This Stupid Piece of S***’, Article Linked Below)). Are Jake and DonOld going to be like Liz and Dick and get remarried? Or will Dopey die all alone in prison the way the prophets predict? We'll see what happens. With that in mind, let's go to earlier this week to see what the Cosmic Universal Anthem Closer Look Of The Month Club Anthem Closer Look is for today. ************* Trump Can't Escape Epstein Questions in Scotland, Calls Epstein Island a "Privilege": A Closer Look -------------- Relax, Guy South Park Studios https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1xR3Xidq84 -------------- The Daily Beast Even the QAnon Shaman Is Turning on Trump Over Epstein: ‘F*** This Stupid Piece of S***’ Ewan Palmer Thu, July 24, 2025 at 10:55 AM CDT 3 min read https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/even-qanon-shaman-turning-trump-155515101.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuYmluZy5jb20v&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAJvn3zY_r_6GybWNJc18Q9HUMJ1cxOBIKObu7S69yG3V4-l0H4cY5CfFMz1tsHZgN32ZIuc8WK5F3dJydPkOok83PIEs4OL-jGHw_Rp3mSn4_yTDHM3FnP1nRrnhMuzRfu_lOjgeLdtv-Z460NCFNwE9w5K_sWH-dqpP18g9285D