I resigned from the police work!

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Hello, I resigned from my police work when my father died from a severe disease. It was a very sudden and no one thought it would too soon and without any sign. Like a normal person would normally feel, we were all devastated. I thought I was able to move on but months after, my anxiety led me to resign from my work. I realized that life is so short and felt that working in the police was futile. I made myself busy about making processes workflows that can improve me and the section that I was handling.I thought I was doing a difference. But my father's death made me realize the other side of the story. Though hard to admit it, I was only doing a superficial change. I was alone in that endeavor. People are adamant to the change. It brought them more work of relearning a process regardless if it was efficient than before. Perhaps, I wanted to leave a mark in the office. A legacy that when I retire, I want to leave a name that my daughter would be proud. But I saw futility. I know that when I am gone, my guys will return to where they used to be. They will go back to their comfort zones at the cost of excellence. They want mediocre work and that is how public service in the Philippines: Why work hard? When the snappy and lousy earn the same salary?