Well That Went as Expected

Tweet

Last night went exactly as I expected. I didn't get Station Commander because apparently I don't have enough experience. All I do is go to meetings and take notes. I had to come to the conclusion that I will never be good enough in their eyes. No matter what I do it will never be enough. The worst part is I can't stop doing what I've been doing because then it would just reflect bad on me and my character. So my husband had to talk me down last night and remind why we do what we do. The reason we help all the other stations and answer the calls. Yet he wonders why I lean more into Rescue and EMS, I have never felt embarrassment or shame for not being able to do something or messing up with them. In Rescue and EMS everyone rallies to help you learn and doesn't make you feel bad for it. We joke around about it but that's what we do. My station hangs you out to dry. Anyway, I'll get out of this funk, I always do. I have a few sales today. I'll be getting rid of some of the clothes and maybe a couple other things. I'll go up after work and do some cleaning while I wait for them to show up. I'm making progress at grams but I need to make more. Mom thinks she's the only one suffering through this but so am I. I find it easier to avoid it than actually taking care of it and I need to. Especially if we want to go after our plans for the future. I'll be diving into the shop and getting things ready for Valentine's Day. I'm hoping for some good sales. I have the two new tumblers I did up and I'll be working on a couple other things. It's good that I have some already made as well. I donated a slate to Angie for the Last Minute Toy Shop's auction the other day. I hope it brought them luck. I'll be donating to our Liberty Station's auction as well. I'm just going to let someone come and pick something out though. I'm still reading Legacy by Carrie Ann Ryan. I've just been preoccupied with this blanket I'm making. Speaking of the blanket, I am on my third skein of yarn for it. It's turning out better than I thought but it definitely needs a border since I have one side that's pretty straight and one side that is like nuts lol. The middle is great though lol. All part of learning. Tomorrow is the Domestic Violence training. After this training, we can take the test for Fire 1. It's a commission test and it's not a huge deal in the volunteer world but if you go paid or want to take your certifications to another state you need to have it to make it worth it. We'll be testing for it because there is always the possibility of moving back home. It was also a small rumor that if my husband has so much commission that a few of the paid departments will over look that he didn't graduate high school. I hope so because he does work hard and the paid department has a little more structure than what the volunteers have. Next week is exciting. Tuesday at 5:30 there is a CASA volunteer training session. It's how we want to volunteer in the foster community until we can actually foster. I'm excited to learn more and excited to help. I'm hoping to get everything in order to still give the Spot in town some CPR classes. We have the Department meeting on Sunday. That should be fun. This should be the last of the changes. February should bring the list of trainings, station lieutenants and officers in charge of different departments such as events. We'll see how everything falls. Oh I'm getting out of herbalife. No one is really interested in it anymore and I can't see all the money that it takes to keep it running plus the distribution fee. I think I'll stick with what I already do and maybe add some food items if I make too much. Like right now I have strawberry and cherry bark. It turned out super amazing. I have them up for five for five ounces. Do you think that's too much? I even weigh it out. Just asking for opinions on it. The blankets I crochet I haven't decided if I'll actually put them in the shop. Part of me wants to but part of me doesn't. I like having something for me but I also feel like I should get something back for all the money I spend. In case you haven't noticed a lot of my stuff falls around money seeing as we've had it pretty rough for the past few months. I can't shake that mind set and I wish I could. When you keep having issues and you're never stable it's always in the back of your mind how can you make money and how can you make it last. It kind of sucks. I'm kind of in the crappy mindset today and I'm trying to shake it. I swear I am. What is everyone else up to today? What's the silver lining in today?