I'm Proud of Myself for Setting a Boundary

United States
July 11, 2026 9:16am CST
Hubby's elderly aunt and I talk frequently and we meet her and the uncle a few times each year for lunch. She's 83, he's 85. The aunt isn't my MIL's sister, but her sister-in-law. They are the same age and more or less grew up together. They were close after the father-in-law died until MIL ticked the aunt off with her continuous lying and manipulating so the aunt quit talking to her or seeing her. The aunt always asks about the MIL which at first I thought was kind of her, but then more recently I realized she was pumping me for information. She felt entitled to know every single detail of what was going on with the MIL. Then indirectly she would comment on how hubby and I should see MIL more often and basically tell us we weren't handling MIL correctly. That stressed me out. I wanted to say, "If you think you can do a better job, then YOU take care of MIL. You haven't even spoken to her in 5 years!" But I didn't. But what I did realize is that the aunt was sort of using me as if she felt she was the matriarch who was entitled to all the information. Basically she was just being nosey and bossy. So last night on the phone with the aunt she asked about MIL and I said I wasn't going to talk about her anymore. She asked, "Why not?" and I simply said I didn't want to anymore and it was too stressful and exhausting for me. I expected an argument from the aunt, but there wasn't one. I think I shocked her that I stood up for myself. I am not going to be the gossip channel for her anymore. I feel good that I was able to set a boundary with someone.
5 people like this
5 responses
@snowy22315 (210445)
• United States
6h
Good for you. You handled it masterfully.
2 people like this
@Wrexxo (3413)
6h
People take advantage of us If we don't set boundaries .you did the right. A simple no can straighten things
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (122659)
• United States
7h
That’s really good.
2 people like this
@Ronrybs (21632)
• London, England
46m
Family can be well dodgy. Setting a boundary is good
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (79702)
• Germany
3h
You have done the right thing.
1 person likes this