Who are Fred and Dorothy?

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The giving of names to animals is a strange one, but one we find sort of natural and necessary, helping to form a bond between animal and ‘owner’. Our current cat is named Spoon, and in the past we’ve had Christopher, Jasper, Bubble, Flimsy, Bagpuss, Scruff, Myrtle, Toad and too many others to remember. Our first two laying hens were called Audrey and Heather and I once had a mouse call Mr Mtwetwe. We’ve also given all five of our children names so that we could tell them apart. But some name their cars, their houses, their flowers, fridges and phones. Five or six years ago I had a toilet called Oswald. My current toilet has yet to be named, but we’re probably getting a new one so I see little point in being on first name terms with this one. However, unlike some others, I draw the line at giving personal names to my body parts. Can you imagine telling your doctor that the Reverend Johnston’s been giving you jip, or that Pinky and Perky have been acting a bit strangely lately? When discussing one’s bits and pieces with the doctor, precision and disambiguity are all important. After all, if he hasn’t yet been properly introduced to ‘Fred’ who’s giving you a spot of bother, he might think you’re complaining about something intimate and ask you to get your drawers off to let him examine Fred, when Fred is actually your nose. Body parts aside (because I’d rather not know) do you assign human names to inanimate objects like your house, or to non-human beasts like pets?