Parents Interference After marriage!!!

@swarn47 (1706)
India
December 3, 2006 8:21am CST
After one's marriage, how much parental interference is acceptable? Why do parents want to maintain their Authority in old age? What makes them not to delegate the authority? Why do they find errors in every action of son and daughter in law more after marriage? Why dont they understand that their unnecessary and unwanted interference may disturb the marital relation of their son and their old age also?
1 person likes this
27 responses
• India
4 Dec 06
old woman - old woman,nobody can miss thie,everybody should undergo this process.
in a single day it is not possible to change our parents no.they were feeding u all the way and taking care of u.one fine morning if u think u are grown up they should not interfire in your personal things, that is not possible.first we should understand them and react according that.
1 person likes this
@swarn47 (1706)
• India
4 Dec 06
Thanks for ur opinion.
@rikpallav (1242)
• India
4 Dec 06
I do not think there should be any paental intervention in the post maraige life of their childrens.... however now and then the childrens can seek some help in making some life's decisions and it is sometimes better to involve your own family member to make certain decisions
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@swarn47 (1706)
• India
4 Dec 06
You are right. Thanks.
@valmiki9 (1171)
• India
4 Dec 06
many parents never realise that people especially the young have to change as oper the customs and social behaviour of their genration. This causes problems. Mother in lawa's expect their daughter in law should behave in the same way as she did with her mother in law.(she assumes that her behaviour was liked by her mother in law). Thus the cycle goes on. It is better to be separate and be helpful rather than be in the same house and suffer.
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@swarn47 (1706)
• India
4 Dec 06
Very good. Thank you.
@emarie (5451)
• United States
3 Dec 06
i think parents want to but in because thats just what they do...they spen 20+ years rasing you and its hard for them to let go of you. especially if you marry young. i think parents should let their child go and shoun't interfear unless asked to or if the relationship becomes dangerous for the child.
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@swarn47 (1706)
• India
4 Dec 06
Good.
@funfreak2k2 (1740)
• India
3 Dec 06
parents' role shuld be limited upto solving any disputes between the couple and avoid break ups and lending any advice on request. but constant interference in other aspects of their life is not appreciable.
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@swarn47 (1706)
• India
4 Dec 06
Very good.
@jricbt (1455)
• Brazil
3 Dec 06
In my opinio the only parental interference acceptable is that asked for. If you ask parents about something, they have the right to interfere, otherwise they must shut up and let you (both of you) have your own life together. And if they do not understand that unwanted interferece disturb, tell them honestly and frankly. If they truly love you, they will understand, if not, they are not worth caring for. And if they keep interfering, block the interference. They will have to accept it.
@swarn47 (1706)
• India
4 Dec 06
Good. U said well.
@lucib5 (34)
• Romania
3 Dec 06
that shouldn't happen' because the new family should have an independence
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@swarn47 (1706)
• India
3 Dec 06
Thanks to all.
@tanujarneja (2833)
• India
4 Dec 06
Well parents have the complete right to interfare in matters but some matters are not to be discussed by parents like they should not interfare in the personal matters of the new member that is married some points to be consider else nothing should be hidden from Parents well but they should release their son/daughter....after getting married.....because as [per the generation changes the mentallity changed and the parents experienced the old mentatillty sho some points shoulb be consider lets take an example if a daugher is married and now into a new house,,,,,,,then the parents should not interfare in their matters why u do so and all this effects a lot
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@jewel76 (2305)
• Canada
4 Dec 06
Parents should butt out of your life with your husband/wife. If you make mistakes, you'll learn from them just like they did. Of course, they can give you advice, but not judge you if you don't do what they say should be done. The person's whose parents are interfering should set them straight or else, the other party will look like the "bad" one.
1 person likes this
@toonatoons (3739)
• Philippines
4 Dec 06
i think some parents do this because it's probably hard for them to let go of their little girl/boy. it's a probably a defense mechanism for them, to enable them to cope with the fact that their kids are now grown up and ready to face the world on their own. perhaps, you'll be able to understand this when you get to be in their position.
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@oneteam (57)
• United States
4 Dec 06
well it depends My son (18 ) just got married so am new to this but my mother has tried to get involved for over 26 years of my marriage. To me interfernce and advice are too different things. you can interfere or try and give advice during some situations. Or if the married children have to depend on their parents to support them during their marriage they should have a say or the kids should listen to their advice. it is n ot all onesided. We are not too old and do have some good things to say.
@ChewySpree (1832)
• United States
3 Dec 06
I guess it's hard for some parents to see their children as adults, regardless of their age. Sometimes you just have to be honest with your parents and if necessary, even be stern with them, to be sure your marriage remains healthy. While I think people should continue to support and respect their parents, the marriage should become their first priority.
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• India
4 Dec 06
i think parents interference is right .because when husband wife are fight with each other then parents give advise that it is not good parents give advise what is right or wrong.
@valmiki9 (1171)
• India
4 Dec 06
Husband and wife has the right to fight and it is for them to reconcile or give up. Parents interference will aggrevate the problem un neccesarily.My son and daughter in law fight alot.I never interfere. they get reconciled. i dont ask. This way both are happy with me.
1 person likes this
• India
4 Dec 06
Vefore marriage the son will be care with the parents very much parents is only member to take care of him he will look after them often his reponsiblity is only to take care of the parents. when he was married his responsiblity may divert he must also look after his wife too . But the parents may think that he is not taking care of him. For example: If ur boy is earning rs 100/day and he his giving 100rs daily to u and u may feel comfort and may be planed the expenses for that rupees . if he was married he will give only Rs 50 to u and another to her wife. U MAY FEEL THAT HE WILL GIVE HE GAVE RS100 BEFORE MARRIAGE AND RS50 AFTER MARRIAGE . U FEEL THAT HE GAVE THAT MONEY TO HER WITHOUT ASKING ME BUT IT WAS HIS RESPONSIBLITY . this is not only in money it is common fir all the things And the most common problem is ego . they will think that she came to take their peace but she came their to give peace to ur son by scarifying her life. U might have been heard that the man mind will back to childish in olden age. This is also one of the reason for that problem . bcoz their character become more adamant.
• Netherlands
4 Dec 06
Some parents never want to give up control of their children even after their children are adults. Some parents feel that they need to steer their offspring through the life because maybe they themselves messed up and don't want to see their children mess up like they did. I would just tell them that they are done teaching and if they forgot anything it is too late and they should allow their child to continue in their new life by themself.
@ipanks (891)
• Indonesia
4 Dec 06
it because parents have to be an expert for their marriage so they interference us.but with a little conversation i think it can solve the problem.right?
@ipanks (891)
• Indonesia
4 Dec 06
it because parents have to be an expert for their marriage so they interference us.but with a little conversation i think it can solve the problem.right?
@ipanks (891)
• Indonesia
4 Dec 06
it because parents have to be an expert for their marriage so they interference us.but with a little conversation i think it can solve the problem.right?
@ipanks (891)
• Indonesia
4 Dec 06
it because parents have to be an expert for their marriage so they interference us.but with a little conversation i think it can solve the problem.right?
@ipanks (891)
• Indonesia
4 Dec 06
it because parents have to be an expert for their marriage so they interference us.but with a little conversation i think it can solve the problem.right?