When does it become wrong?

@Adversa (406)
Australia
December 3, 2006 10:58am CST
Infedelity is against my nature. I would never cheat on any of my partners, nor would I want to. Not me. Well any way i was out and about the othe night and I was talking to this woman. we were getting along quite well, till I discovered that she was married. She said not to worry, that her and her husband (6 foot 2 mde of muscell - dont mess with him) have what they call an open relationship. I know its their choice what they do, but is it morrally wrong to sleep with another mans wife if they are "OK" with it? I didnt do it. Hello - 6 foot 2. not risking that. But would it have been wrong to?
4 people like this
32 responses
• United States
4 Dec 06
it is illegal in some states to cheat no matter what although prosecution rarely happens if at all.
2 people like this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Not in Australia it isnt. Laws like that have never been passed here.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Dec 06
In what state is it illegal? I don't think that's true.
2 people like this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
I dont know about Blondies country (is it US?) but iuts not illegal here.
1 person likes this
• Australia
3 Dec 06
I dont think i could do it. No matter how much i loved someone, i just couldnt. Marriage is sacred. If we were both in love and they separated/divorced then that is different but i couldnt come between a couple even if they have an agreement. That person would always be special to me but i wouldnt take it any further. I would want to stay friends though
2 people like this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
3 Dec 06
I like the way you think, you'll stay out of trouble you will lol. I was just wondering.
1 person likes this
• Australia
3 Dec 06
LOL thats cool ;)
2 people like this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Besides, married women are genrally straight right?
1 person likes this
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
4 Dec 06
In my opnion it is not considered cheating if both parties are willing. I have a very close friend who has an open relationship with his live in girlfriend and we want to get together. My husband is not like that tho. He believes in you sleep with who you are dating or married to. I respect that, and I wont break his trust. I have told him that if he found a women attractive and he had a chance with her to just tell me first and that I would like to meet her. But he wont go for it.
2 people like this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Thats good that you respect your husbands wishes and not do anything about your "desire". You should be ablee to keep a strong marrage, especially as you are clearly communicating well. Thumbs up to you
1 person likes this
@Meljep (1666)
• United States
4 Dec 06
Can you say adultery? It is wrong, no matter who says it's right or that they don't mind.
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Thanks. I like the black and white aproach as much as the shades of grey aproach. your comments are apreciated.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Dec 06
Never monkey with another man's monkey.
2 people like this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
I love it ~ short and consise.
1 person likes this
@ssgucluck (107)
• India
4 Dec 06
well adrenalin opint of view its worth taking a risk !! but moral speaks that such things r wrong !! so take yr decision
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
thanks for that. Its a question of Morals vs Fun then. Why does the right thing always win? Sometimes even I just want to have fun
1 person likes this
@BELMCstar (1341)
• Australia
3 Dec 06
What you would need to ask yourself is - do I believe that they have an 'open' relationship? Some people say that they do, when in fact they do not, and you could find yourself the worse for wear when it happens. You need to be wary of things like this, especially as you started another discussion about how you had recently broken up with your girlfriend. Make sure that you do not jump into anything too quickly, or else you might find that you regret it in the future.
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Well, as far as a rebound fling goes, it seems pretty valid, no strings attached. I think the hubby in the other side of the bar hitting on another chick kind of gave away that it was fairly open. But Oh, my life is full of stupid decisions, many of them I would gladly make again. this one I decided to shy away from.
1 person likes this
@ChewySpree (1832)
• United States
4 Dec 06
I think you did the right thing. Even if they do have an open relationship and you were uncomfortable with it, you might have ended up regretting it later. On the other hand, she may have just been telling you that and you could have ended up in a real sticky situation, which I'm sure you didn't want either.
1 person likes this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
I dont think anybody wants to get causht in a sticky mes at the end of the day.
• Australia
4 Dec 06
If you have any doubts whatsoever - turn and run! Sounds good to me!
1 person likes this
@sassyces (1602)
• Philippines
4 Dec 06
mm - mm
They're married and yet they have this open relationship? What kind of marriage is that? Even if they decided to have that kind of set-up, I think its still not right to sleep with her. Hello? they're married!! Maybe when they're divorced or anulled then you can take her to bed anyday but not now, not till she's still his wife.
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
If that ever happend I woulds be there, dont worry sbout that lol.
• India
4 Dec 06
well done
1 person likes this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Um, thankyou. Well done for what?
@kyliepops (269)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Poo - POo
Hey i think that its never ok, some people say that there are lines and grey areas but i think that if you have to think twice then its wrong. As a newly married woman i just wouldnt put myself in a situation. I can tell you that there is no way in this world that my hubby would want or let me be with anyone else. We took vows and we hold them very strongly and it was a huge step and huge commitment to each other. We agreed to forsake all others for ever so that means no one else!! Sorry but there is my opinion so thats never is ok!
1 person likes this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Hey KPopse, Hows life goigng with the new hubby? I bet your having a blast. Your relationship with hubby seems to have very firm foundations and your head is screwwed on well. Thanks for Sharing K.
@14missy (3183)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
I must admit it is very nice to have the attention of someone else when you are married and flirting is a different thing all together, but I think marriage is sacred and not something that you take lightly. I wouldn't like to share my partner with anyone else. (you don't know who that person has shared with... a bit of a dicey situation in this day and age)
@14missy (3183)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
I think down the track some might regret what they have done. Better to be safe and not do it in the first place, right?
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Thanks for that, I'm not a sharer either. I'm the greedy kind. I was just wondering peoples opinions on getting shared with?
• Australia
4 Dec 06
I seriously think it would depend on all the people involved! For some people the whole idea is black and white and others have shades of grey as well...there is nothing illegal with this theory so it would be up to the couple to decide whether this is ok and if so what rules they want to apply.... Just my 2 cents for the day!
1 person likes this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
I dunno about the two cents. I think the average reply make about one cent (lmao). Thanks for the shades of grey answer lol.
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
I was just joshing ya. Its a good one. I think your right though. it might simply be up to the individuals. If nobody is getting hurt then where is the harm?
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Ok then - my little add in to a conversation for the day! And my first post to boot!
1 person likes this
@MsBond (45)
• Canada
4 Dec 06
Yes, it would be wrong. cheating is cheating it wouldn't be illegal in sports if it wasn't something wrong, right? I think it's sad that their marriage has come to that they should just get a divorce and stop wasting each others lives.
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
I'm not sure on their motivations. I'm not eithert of them. The way she explained it it was like they were always like that. Even before marrage. I dunno, maybe is an Adelaide thing.
@sunsham68 (1376)
• India
4 Dec 06
adultery is adultery is adultery is adultery....get it? It shouldn't matter if her husband is 6'2 or 2'6. Being beaten up by him should not be your concern, right and wrong should be seen clearly as right or wrong irrespective of the consequences that change with different scenarios.
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Isnt it the consequenses what determins right or wrong though? If nobody gets hurt, and everybody iss happy is it still wrong?
@tommy0099 (194)
• Indonesia
4 Dec 06
two choice 1. If you do it, you are taking a risk 2. if you do it, you are having fun and happy,so make you younger than ever but if you do it it is wrong because they are married and married is sacred
1 person likes this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Cool, thanks Tommy. I'm still young enough lol. I dont need to feel younger
@jewel76 (2305)
• Canada
4 Dec 06
I don't think i'd do it, cuz you don't really know if she's telling the truth. What is she says they have an open relationship, but they don't? You risk getting in trouble or breaking up a marriage. You did good to stay away from her.
1 person likes this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
thankyou, but the husband hitting on a different woman on the other side of the bar is kind of a giveaway lol.
• China
4 Dec 06
Marriage is marriage, enough said. If it were an "open" relationship they probably wouldn't be married. Still, perhaps she was telling the truth...even then the whole situations stinks. You are still helping a married woman break her marriage vows and that is probably not something you want to do. In my opinion, if they are married it is hands off.
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Cool, thanks for sharing (tu)
@valmiki9 (1171)
• India
4 Dec 06
It was good that you kept out of it.In such things you never know what you are getting into. Once done cannot be undone. It could be a ruse for black mail also.
1 person likes this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Could be, but I have nothing to blackmai off me lol
@kregink (57)
• Canada
4 Dec 06
Re: "I would never cheat on "any" of my partners". Any - meaning multiple? I hate to break this to you dude ... but that's the very definition of cheating!
1 person likes this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
4 Dec 06
Um, no, I average 0.0 girlfriends an any one time. I am single at the moment. (recent brake up). I dont have mulitplke partners