help around the house

United States
December 4, 2006 10:29am CST
ok here is the deal, my husband works full time outside the home, and makes good money, and I work full time inside the home taking care of our 2 kids, and I am pregnant again, I also cook, clean, ect with all the housework. My question being: Is it wrong for me to ask my husband to help with some of the housework sometimes being as I am pregnant and taking care of 2 small children (4.5 yrs old & 4 months old), or should i still do all of it on my own because I dont work outside the home?
11 people like this
88 responses
• United States
4 Dec 06
No I don't think it is too much to ask. You have a ful time job just taken care of the kids. and being pregant on top of it is very tireing. If he thinks you job is really that easy then let him do it all by himself for a day. Let him see what it is that you do all day. I will bet that changes his mind.
3 people like this
• United States
4 Dec 06
lol I have threatened to go on a kid free vacation and take his mom with me and leave the kids with him for a weekend and he just tells me im not and that he would go to his dad & stepmom for help with the kids, he knows he cant do it, he says that if i could go out and make more money than him he would stay at home, but i dont think he really would, lol. He thinks that I am lazy because I get tired alot, and I try to tell him the pregnancy alone makes you tired, especially with low iron levels, but he just wont listen he thinks he knows everything.
2 people like this
@ebsharer (5515)
• United States
4 Dec 06
its not wrong for you to ask for help. i am in the same situation and my husband helps out. he doesn't do as much as when i was working but he helps with things like the floors and laundry. your not asking to much for some help. its hard enough being pregnant let alone being pregnant with kids, housework, and all the other stuff.
3 people like this
• United States
4 Dec 06
No, not at all. Your pregnant and also taking care of 2 children so he should help out a little.
3 people like this
@luckiest (282)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 06
If u really cannot do it, just don't do loh, just let him know u got no energy and need more rest. If he luv u, he will automatically help out or just ask him to hire a mate for u coz u said he earn good money
2 people like this
• United States
5 Dec 06
i have asked him to hire a maid to come in maybe once a week or every 2 weeks and he laughed at me, he thinks that all i do is sit around all day just because when he comes home sometimes i am on the computer while im eating or feeding the baby, he doesnt understand that i can not do much else while i am trying to eat or feed the baby, he doesnt believe in hiring anyone to help me, he thiks i should be able to do it all on my own
• United States
4 Dec 06
I think he should help you. I to am a stay at home mom but I have 4 children ages 11, 5, 4, and 2. I also run multiple online businesses out of my home. My husband works a full time job outside of the home. I clean, cook , help with homework, bathe kids, wash clothes, put kids to bed, and have his diiner ready when he gets home from work. I would love for him to help me with some of the house work but.... He just gets mad if I ask him to and says that I stay home all day and he works so he shouldn't have to help. Good Luck to you on getting your husband to help.
2 people like this
• United States
4 Dec 06
same here, lol he gets mad, he gets mad if i dont have the house spotless when he gets home, good luck
• United States
5 Dec 06
In my opinion, asking your husband to help out around the house is ok, my husband helps me, he cooks, washes clothes, cleans, I felt bad at first, but he reasures me that it is ok, that when one person is tired, or sick, or cannot do the task, then it is ok for the other to take up the slack. Marriage is a partnership.
@nandusha (154)
• India
5 Dec 06
no not at all ,my dear make ur hus work around the house tell him if not u are going to ur moms home ,then he will
2 people like this
@merlin22 (1111)
• United States
5 Dec 06
cleaning - love
he should help,you cant do it all yourself all the time.it takes 2
2 people like this
@YoMomma1 (922)
• United States
5 Dec 06
i look at it like this- he gets break at work and gets to leave his place of business at the end of the day right? well then to make it fair , when he comes home let him unwind a bit and then ask that he help out with lets say feeding the kids so that you can take a bath or putting the kids to sleep so you can relax a little earlier. i think in this day and age men dont want to help out with housework, so your only refuge maybe getting him to lend a hand with the children. He should also understand that being pregnant and caring for a newborn at the same time is very stressful on you, and if he wants you to have a healthy pregnancy, hes gotta relieve you from time to time with the babies. best of luck to you, and congratulations on your growing family : )
• Italy
5 Dec 06
your husband Must help you....
2 people like this
@lisan22 (191)
• United States
4 Dec 06
I'm not trying to be pesimistic, but if he hasn't helped you yet, don't count on it. I work full time, go to school, and still cook, clean, do the laundry etc. My husband helps occasionally after I nag him for about thirty minutes. Then he's mad at me because I won't leave him alone. And every time I work on Saturday and he has to watch the kids by himself, I get half a dozen phone calls asking when I'm coming home. (Of course, I come home and things are a wreck.) Taking care of kids is JUST as hard, if not harder, than a full time job. He should help out, and good luck trying to get him to!
@Lindalinda (4112)
• Canada
5 Dec 06
Oh I feel for you. Your pregnancy alone makes you tired and the stress of having the house spotless would drive me nuts. I think you and your husband need some family counselling to help you over this rough time. Also ask him to budget for a cleaning service once a month or every two weeks. How about money to hire a sitter once in a while so you can go out for a couple of hours to have your hair or nails done or just have coffee with a friend.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 06
I like your idea, lol, I have asked him a few times for the money to go & get my nails done, and he has made comments about my nails & my hair several times because when I worked I always went & got them done and he had no say so in the matter, but now he always says that I could do them while Im just sitting at home, he thinks that I do not do anything.
@Mahindan (563)
• Canada
5 Dec 06
Regardless of the fact that you are pregnant or not, your husband should help you at home. I don't mean it in a rude way. My dad worked five days and mom took care of us at home, Sunday was my mom's day off. My dad would cook and have us help around the house so mom could rest and catch up on some movies and reading. My dad always joked that if God took the seventh day off so would his wife take a day off. They have been married for 35years and still going. It doesn't matter if a guy works and makes a ton of cash, if he is married he should help at home to. Go ahead ahead and ask him to help you, there is nothing wrong with it.
• United States
5 Dec 06
that was really sweet of your dad
@Brooke3 (610)
5 Dec 06
I think it is wrong. He is working and bringing in the money, he is basically supporting you, without his work you would not be able to stay home with your children. The least he can expect is to not have to do any housework. I would say that if you want him to pitch in then you should pitch in with making money. if you can't cope you shoudl have waited a bit longer between pregnancies.
1 person likes this
@wahmoftwo (1298)
• United States
5 Dec 06
Do you have children?
1 person likes this
@jediwa72 (204)
• United States
5 Dec 06
not at all...not only are you pregnant but you are married to him...while you make it your responsibility to tend the house and care for the kids sometimes a little assistance is necessary. i stay at home all day and my husband works full time...we too, have two kids but i would be lying if i said he always comes home to a clean house....sometimes something as simple as him cleaing up after himself makes my job easier. you have to remember....he works 40 hours a weeks and you work well over 100...and your pregnant 24/7...a good husband will understand.
• United States
5 Dec 06
i wish he would clean up after himself, lol, that would be a miracle and make my job 10000x easier thanks for your response
@dhicks30 (1948)
• United States
4 Dec 06
I think you should ask for some help. You have alot to do, and being pregnant makes it worst. If you are like I was tired all the time. Besides are they his kids? If yes then he should help. Sit down and work something out. Like he baths one of the kids. He can put the dishes away. A what ever help you. But you should atleast ask him for the help.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 06
our 4 mo old daughter is his but i had my son before we met but he has accepted him as his own so pretty much they are both his, hes been there for my son he was 22 months old
@mbs730 (2151)
• Canada
4 Dec 06
Gosh no, tell him.. oh no sorry let me rephrase that, DEMAND him to help you around the house. Us moms are underappreciated, and we do far more work than anyone gives us credit for, for no pay! Especially if you are pregnant, you demand him to help!! You should not do it all on your own.
• United States
4 Dec 06
i agree we are highly under appreciated
• United States
5 Dec 06
I do not think that it is too much to ask for. My husband works a fulltime job outside the home and I work from home during the day while my daughter is at school. We both clean the house and cook dinner. We have no set rules about who does the cleaning, laundry, or cooks dinner. I do not think that you should have to ask your husband. He should have common sense just to help you out.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 06
You have your hands full, of course you need your husband's help. I have a four and a half year old and a five month old (and am not pregnant) and still am exausted and need help at the end of the day. Don't be afraid to ask because, like him, you have worked all day too.
1 person likes this
• India
5 Dec 06
its not wrong too ask him, but he is really working heard & earning good money try getting a maid