How do you react to death?

@prasanta (1949)
India
December 4, 2006 10:33am CST
One of my dear friends has lost his dad this morning. As I went to meet him, I found him very upset from inside, however, he was trying to forcefully suppress his feeling. His sister was although upset, still controlled herself in a more natural way. Their mother was muc more depressed. I was moved to note the news as soon as I received the same. But when I met him I did not try to console him by saying false words, I hugged him for some time and just told him, "Take life as it is." Did I do the right thing?
3 people like this
32 responses
@brnis97 (185)
• United States
4 Dec 06
baby giving peace sign - baby
Well, this is of course a really really hard subject, I havent lost anyone close to me in years, but when I have friends that have i just try to comfort them and be there for them to cry if they need to. I have actually had to talk a few of them into crying let it out and talk about the good times only, and even remind them of the people that are still in their lives to support them.
@prasanta (1949)
• India
5 Dec 06
This is also a good way. But I feel at that moment the depressed person will not look at that +ve aspect of life. So, I keep silence and try to express my love to him.
@cacheat (11)
• United States
5 Dec 06
Yes I believe you did. I lost my son last year in December and some of the things people said to me made me mad. I think if you tell him you are there for him if he needs to talk would be nice. I need to talk and no one wants to discuss the subject with me except one of my dearest friends. It is therapy sometimes to get it all out in the open.
@drumm1n (499)
• India
5 Dec 06
Trust me you did the right thing. Although if you ask me just a hug wouldve done it.I recently lost a close friend of mine in an accident and trust me nothing anyone said would make me feel better, i would get irritated with people who tried to console me bye saying things will get better and stuff.
1 person likes this
• India
5 Dec 06
murder - why it happens generally?money?jelous?
you were very practical,nothing rong in it.that hug would have healed your friend.what else we can do deareverybody has to go one day.
1 person likes this
@mashimaro (1094)
• Philippines
5 Dec 06
it really hurts..badly..
• India
5 Dec 06
yas you think right
1 person likes this
• India
5 Dec 06
yes, you did it greatly because there is nothing else you can do for him. Well take good care of your friend for few days, and he will be normal in no time.
1 person likes this
@hemtata (284)
• India
5 Dec 06
Yes, you have conveyed what was expected from the friend at this hour. Some times we can convey a lot throgh our touch or a look.
1 person likes this
• India
5 Dec 06
ya dear u didi a good job,
1 person likes this
• India
5 Dec 06
yes friend perhaps you have done the right thing.try to make your friend convince with reality of life.everyone have to face the fact of life.the same will happen with all of us.try to make him engage him other work.u can do it,because after family friends are the dearest ones.tye to make him busy with your friend circle.
1 person likes this
@LovingIt (5398)
• United States
5 Dec 06
The only thing you can really do for someone that has just lost a love one is to just be there for them. If they want to talk let them talk. If they don't want to talk, just sit there with them. I lost my husband several years ago, unexpectedly, in an accident. The thing that meant the most to me was just the fact that people were there for me. I remember one young lady came by and got on the riding lawn mower and mowed my yard for me. That meant the world to me. Another guy took my two sons with him and they loaded up on soft drinks and just talked to them for a while about what a great guy their dad was. Just people being there and being kind is all they need. Even the ones that just came in and didn't say a word, but just came in and gave me a hug and said "I'm sorry" meant tons to me.
1 person likes this
• India
5 Dec 06
u have to face life..
1 person likes this
• India
5 Dec 06
i think the way you reacted to the condition is really good.
1 person likes this
@gromit88 (12)
• India
5 Dec 06
well. according to me u did the right thing. any friend would have done the same. i did exactly the same thing when my friend's father expired. what i would like to suggest is that be in contact with ur friend for some time and be a support to him. be it any support cause he might just feel lonely in this big world without his father. stand beside him for some time in order to support him.
@maryannemax (12168)
• Sweden
5 Dec 06
you're such a great friend. what you did is simple and really sweet. you don't really have to say lots of words just to ease someone's hurt feeling. it's better if you say so little but comfort him/her with touch. it helps a lot.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 06
i think it was the right thing to do!! nobody ever knows wht tosay during those situations!!i personaly don't cry i just take it like it is! i really don;t know how to react!!
1 person likes this
@malsun (1528)
• United States
5 Dec 06
No amount of words can console at this time. I am sure that your hug and presence would have given your friend much more strength than the words that you didnt say. Everyone has a different way of releasing their sorrow. Let him be.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Dec 06
There's really not a whole lot you can do for someone who has lost a loved one, except reassure them that you are there for them. Also, give them approval. Let them know that they'll have to take each day as it comes and however they're feeling, is normal and okay. And, just as you did, hugging. Sometimes, just being present is more than enough.
1 person likes this
@Khokhonut (702)
• United States
5 Dec 06
When dealing with someone trying to cope with such a horrible thing I'm not sure if there is a "right thing" to do, but I'd say you did fine:) All you can do is be there, to talk about something else if they want, to cry if they want, to laugh, to sort out personal belonging, whatever capacity they are comfortable with you should just play it by ear, and be there for whatever might come.
1 person likes this
• India
5 Dec 06
besides, you had done the right thing i can tell u how u can show your friend your affection to him. just say to him that life doesnt stops at this end, it will keep on going. He must full fill the dreams of his dad if he realy respect him. these words will must work because i just told this to my friend who lost his father last year,it works.