Do you help people too much?
@working4theweekend (2403)
United States
December 4, 2006 7:59pm CST
I've been called an "enabler" because I like to help people but sometimes I might help people too much so they don't suffer.
Do you have this same kind of personality? How do I overcome this?
3 responses
@ishavasyam (1801)
• India
5 Dec 06
There is one thing ....r u put into some kind of trouble due to this nature ? its quite good that u r helping people out.But r u doing this for gaining some kind of security or mental accepatnce from them ? R u afraid about social rejection ? R u feeling guilt of ne nature ? I think u carry out a soul searching on this issue....
@working4theweekend (2403)
• United States
5 Dec 06
I am not "soul searching" - it is a general question, actually. I work in customer service and was thinking about how I help people, but I don't really enable them at work, I tell them how to get back on track but they have to follow the rules to do it. But that is what made me think of this question.
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
5 Dec 06
Oh yea! I have been told on several occasions that I enable people. I am tired of this actually. I could say no if I really wanted to. But, I think of what if it were me being the person in need? Wouldn't I want someone to help me out? There have been so many times in my life when I refused to ask, only to have my friends chew my ear off for not asking. When people are in need I am not sure that you are enabling them. I believe that you are helping them. But, in return I always ask for something in kind.
@working4theweekend (2403)
• United States
5 Dec 06
I wonder sometimes if I enable people. And I think of whether they could do it on their own, too. I think it's enabling if you help someone do something that they could do on their own, or if by you helping them, it prevents them from reaching out and working for something themselves.
@working4theweekend (2403)
• United States
5 Dec 06
I hear you on that one. I've been burned before. It's hard to believe, esp. when it's someone that you love, that they are there because they love you and not because they need your help - sometimes that can be the same thing though, people can love you because they need you.
