What is the job of a stay at home mom?

A mom or dad had the primary job of taking care of the needs of their children/family. They both do their best. It works well when their is no line drawn as to who does what. Both people can and should do what needs to be done, at the moment it is needed.

My views on this are a little old fashioned. If I were a stay at home mom, my kids and house would be tended to daily. My man would come home to a hot dinner kids would be fed and bathed house would be cleaned. I think a man should pitch in a little but I would also understand that he does work and he should be allowed time to unwind after a days works. I dont think the views are "out there" I used to be a stay at home mom and I used to do this stuff on a daily basis. I have much respect for stay at home moms as its not an easy job.

I am also a SAHM, my hubby works about 60 hours a week. To me if I raise my boys (6 yrs old and 1 yr old) to be respectful, smart, well mannered little people than I am doing my job. I make sure their needs are attended to and give them happy childhoods and good morals...anything that gets done besides that is gravy. People who dont care for children think that SAHM's have it soooo easy and thats so not true. Its hard work and sometimes its very thankless but in the end its very rewarding and I wouldnt change it for anything.

I used to be the one that said why should I have to do everything, he can help do things too. As I have gotten older and more mature I have come to realize that if I am at home and he is at work he shouldn't come home to a dirty house or have to cook dinner or do chores, all that should be done already. When we both worked we shared all the household chores. Now that I am at home I do all the things around the house, take care of the kid, make sure dinner is ready and whatnot. There are only a few things he has to do and that is take out the trash, empty the cat box and bring the dirty clothes downstairs and the clean clothes upstairs (that is because of my back or I would do it myself). And as far as people saying well it's to hard to do all that and take care of the kids...no, it's not. If you have always done it and kept your house clean all you have to do is keep it up and schedule yourself if need be. If everyone cleans up after themselves the cleaning isn't hard at all...all you have to do is maintain. So I guess everyone is different but I wouldn't expect my husband to do all that, if he wants to then that is fine but he knows that it isn't expected of him. Good discussion, thank you.

Good question. My husband works 40+ hours a week as well and helps out. We let the kids do most of the chores and then I also work out of the house. My husband doesn't do as much as yours but he's still a great asset.

haha well what a good discussion. I think us moms are under appreciated most of the time. And yeah, well as far as I am concerned, even though he is working 40 hours a week he is still the father. The other parent. Of course he needs to pitch in, working for someone else or not!! Just because moms don't earn a dime for what they do doesn't mean that their jobs are worthless! Our jobs are more rough than someone who is working for someone else as far as I am concerned!! I think the dad needs to give mom a break sometimes :)

I think you have done a great job training your husband, lol. No really he is a blessing to have. I am a stay at home mom to 4. I pretty much do everything for everybody around here and I'm tired of it. I believe a father should help around the house even if he works. Running a house and taking care of a family is a 2 person job. My husband used to help me when our oldest 3 were little (they are 6, 5 and 4 now) but now he does almost nothing. He usually only works 40 hours a week. A few years ago he used to put in a lot of overtime and I didn't ask him to do much because it is rough working 12-16 hour days several days in a row. But his schedule right now is two 16 hour days and one 8 hour day. He has 4 days off during the week and he does nothing around here. On his days off he sits in front of the playstation or the computer while I keep plugging along. We don't have a dishwasher or washer/dryer so I have to do dishes by hand (and they pile up fast with 5 people eating and bottles for the baby) and I have to carry the laundry to the laundromat down the street. I do all the grocery shopping and bill paying (and the worrying that comes along with that) and I do all the cleaning. The kids rarely help because they don't think they have to. Why should they since daddy never helps either? My husband is a 30 year old child that requires almost as much care as my kids except he can't be punished for not following the rules. He gets mad if I ask him to take out the trash so I have to do that, too. He does change diapers and make bottles but he used to do it all the time when he was home when the other kids were babies. Now he only does it once in awhile. I feel he is being very selfish. He works 40 hours a week. I work 24 hours a day without breaks. If I want to be away from my kids (for me time) I have to leave the house because he won't go anywhere with them. He can't handle them. When I was in the hospital having the baby in April I told him it would be nice if he cleaned up while I was gone. He didn't. He said he couldn't find time. I came home after having a c-section and the next day I cleaned the bathroom and did the dishes and a few days later I did laundry and vacuumed.

I am a stay at home mom and my husband works about 50 hours a week. He helps me when I ask for it, but what he does around here is marginal compared to what I do. I don't expect a lot from him, but I also don't want to pick up his dirty clothes or do every dish he lays in the sink. He is very helpful with the kids though and that means more to me than him doing his share of the house work. He understands that sometimes I need a break.

i think you are very lucky to have such a wonderful man. If he wants to do it why would you change it. My husband was not always helpful he grew up with a mother who thought it was her and only her job to tend to kids, clean house, cook and her husband was king. Kids were second, let me tell you that didn't last long with me. I do know he works a long day so i would never ask him to do anything when he comes home. However on the weekend we all pitch in. Sat morn is the day we all clean house so that the house is very clean for any guest that might come, laundry is done and so forth. with everyone pitching in its done in no time becasue i keep the house clean during the week. A husband who works and comes home and helps is very hard to find. That is so wonderful for u.

A stay at home mom can do many things these days. She can do housework and take care of things for the family or she can do those things and run her own business from home. The options are hers.

I think the idea of being a stay at home mom means that you are there and always available for the needs of your children/family. That means that there are days the house won't be cleaned, or the most gourmet meals won't be cooked. But if you're a stay at home mom, and the children are loved, safe, secure in themselves, and you are as available as you can be for them, then I'd say you job is done. I am in no way saying that you have to be a stay at home mom for your children to feel this way, just if you are staying at home, this should be one of your goals.

I'm fortunate in that respect, too. He does all the things that you listed, and when I tell him he doesn't have to- that he just came home from work and should rest, he always says,"Oh, that's ok.... I can help too. You work hard all day too." Is it right for you to expect your husband to pitch in? Hmmmmm... good question.. um...... well, they're his kids too, lol.

I am a work @ home mom, and even though I am home all day some days I am really busy with my business, there are times my husband will come home and do a load of laundry or fix dinner even though I was here all day, he understands, sometimes my business can demand my attention and he doesnt' have a problem with it. I think both parents should help, just cause you are home all day doens't mean you aren't exhausted by evening. Taking care of a household and kids is hard work.

I can't comment cause I'm not a parent or a wife, BUT I did hear on the radio a while back that if a housewife got paid for everything she did during the day, she'd make upwards of $70,000 per year.

A parent who works outside the home works about 40 hours a week. My huband takes this role in our household. However I am a stay at home mom & for my "job" I am on call 168 hours a week (aka 24/7). We have a 14month old (who is sick right now) a 4 month old who if she gets sick I can't just get my sleepy but up & get her from her room, I have to get up, get dressed, drive 1 1/2 hours & visit her hospital room. Plus I'm 5 weeks pregnant and I have a LARGE ovarian cyst, so I'm in near constant pain. I vaccum, do dishes, clean the kitchen & restrooms, take care of our son, leave our son w/ daddy after work so I can visit our daughter, I'm re-decorating for Christmas, laundry is a "family event" at the laundry mat b/c of previous complications my hubby doesn't want me lifting the laundry loads by myself, and since my morning sickness already reared it's ugly head when taking out the trash, my husband takes care of the trash. However when I was laid up in the hospital after my c-section (with my daughter) my hubby took care of ALL household chores, I didn't expect it but was grateful, VERY GRATEFUL. I do expect help every now & again b/c I put in more hours at home than he does at work, but not all the time.

Job of mother stay at home. I know many people will not agree with my response to this discussion. but i am going to tell the actual job of the mother at stay at home. Today we have seen that mother is not staying at home. Many of them is busy in kitty parties and office works. Staying at home is itself is a great job for the mother. A mother can give good knowledge and she can play with the child. She can look after the child better then the maid. The main job of the mother in staying at home is to give the good knoweldge about the life and about the god. When the child grow he/she will not go to the bed ways. The mother have to give her own milk to child which gives love to the child. This is the good job of the mother staying at home

I think that if the dad works a job that takes a lot out of him, then he should have a chance to unwind after work. My boyfriend, is a real estate agent that works 2 days a week due to the amount of agents in his office. Days that he doesn't work, He will do stuff outside around the house. Days that he does work though, He will come home and do the dishes. He'll help me out with Michael and everything, Giving him bottles, changing his diapers, etc. The only thing that he expects me to by myself is bathe him because he feels that he doesn't know what to do with bathing someone so small. Michael is only 3 3/4 months old at the moment. He also helps out with the laundry. He really doesn't expect me to do much of anything. In answer to your question, No it's not wrong to expect him to pitch in because I believe that men and women should be treated equally. I don't believe that the only thing a woman should be in a relationship for is to have kids, take care of the kids, clean house, and cook the food. That's way to old fashioned for me. If I were married to my boyfriend's father, I'd go insane. That is what he thinks should be of a woman. He's very old fashioned and when he gripes at his wife for not doing what she is supposed to "have" done, I have to hold my tongue so I don't say something that I shouldn't say and would probably piss him off or something I would regret.

yes mothers should stay at their houses it is not old fasioned because we know how many children get corrupted due to bad up bringing,so if the mother is art home the children get the attention they want and the grow in a proper manner,and the children will also not addopt bad quilaties so it is a precausion

I think that is great that your husband helps. Every relationship should define their own rules. My fiance and I both work.. He works more hours and is doing physical labor, I work a few less hours and at a desk, but I spend more time in commute ( 2 hours each way - 4 hours total ).. We make almost EXACTLY the same amount. Mine is usually used for bills and his is usually kept as cash for things like groceries, bus passes, little errands, date nights, etc. He does most of the cooking, runs some errands, and does about half of the cleaning.. I take care of appointments, bills, the budget, help him with homework and studying, etc. We are both in school to get our business degrees and take most of the same classes.. It's amazing to see how a relationship just settles into it's own little patterns. It sounds like you may be feeling a little guilt over asking your husband for some help.. I'm trying to see why you were asking this question? If you are feeling guilt try to sit down with your husband and each make a list of what you feel your duties are and see if they even out. If they don't even out, switch some things around to make it even (unless it doesn't bother you guys..) In my opinion, a stay at home Mom's first priority should be the kids. Children can be unpredictable - totally calm and almost no work one day - and cranky, sick, or fussy the next day.. If she is busy with the children and doesn't have time to clean or make dinner 100% of the time, that should be acceptable with the husband. Mom should also get time to rest. Cleaning should come last BUT if there is time it should still be done. It can be a form of disrespect if one partner is sitting around watching TV for 3 hours and leaves a mess for the other one to find when coming home. That has happened to be before (when my husband was not working) and it is like a slap in the face. But that is if someone did not even TRY. As long as you are trying and doing your best then that is all that matters. The number 1 way to make sure that a relationship is equal is that both partners should be able to ask the other partner for an errand, chore, or favor of any kind, at any time. With no guilt or arguement.

I've read this general discussion and most of the responses: I think it's fair to say that you have your hands pretty full. Your kids' age span is so close together that it makes for a tougher job now -- nice thing is it might bring you some relief down the road. I think it's absolutely fine to expect your husband to pitch in. Actually, I think the act of pitching in is what separates your husband from a good portion of men out there. Don't get discouraged, though. If you can fall asleep at night and honestly say that you have done the best that you can, given the full circumstances of the entire day, then I'd say you're doing great. Remember, one day your best might be getting all the dishes and laundry done, having supper ready for hubby, got the living room dusted (maybe even fixed the dishwaasher and installed a new kitchen floor). But the next day, your best might be that you successfully didn't yell at your children out of anger. Keep it in perspective, let God do the convicting, and set reasonable goals.