How can you politely ask someone to not smoke in their own home?
@writerightmom (148)
United States
December 5, 2006 10:01pm CST
My husband and I will be driving 800 miles from Michigan to North Carolina to visit his dad for Christmas. His dad smokes heavily and I'm deathly allergic to cigarette smoke. It causes severe migranes, asthma, among other symptoms. How can I ask him not to smoke in the house while I'm there without being rude or offending him? I don't want to stay at a hotel and hurt his feelings, but I don't want to suffer, either... We also have 2 kids that don't need to be exposed to that stuff anyway...
3 people like this
13 responses
@nonconformingmommy (49)
• United States
7 Dec 06
Hold up just a second gang. This is your husband's job to deal with. If your father-in-law invited you then he should be fine with smoking outdoors. Now if you invited yourself, then are telling him what to do in his own home-----i'm waving a resentment flag. Not good to invite yourself somewhere then dictate or even request how things will be while you're there.
I don't think that's what you're doing though. So just have hubby explain to Dad and see what happens.
@lissaj (532)
• United States
7 Dec 06
I think your husband should voice the concerns to his father. I think he will not have a problem with smoking outside while you are there. If he does, explain that you can not be exposed to smoke as it makes you extremely sick and as much as you all want to spend time with him, you will have to stay in a hotel.
@Krysha (48)
• United States
7 Dec 06
I couldn't agree more. If he has a problem with your husband asking him to please smoke outside - then your option is not to stay in that house. I smoke and wouldn't be offended by this action. But honestly its his house - some people may get offended but you've got to realize its his house - you have the choice to stay there or a hotel. Choose
@Cortney (3980)
• United States
7 Dec 06
I have asthma really bad and so does my daughter. We are both allergic to cig smoke. There is a no smoking rule that my entire family is aware of.
I would just tell him nicely that you have health problems and you are allergic to cig smoke. Set up a chair and an old coffee can outside where he can smoke. That is were I send the smokers in my family.
@kingfisher123 (177)
• India
7 Dec 06
well its your own house so give some excuse like kids,family and tell them not to smoke at your house.i dont think anyone will say no to your excuse.
@jerseypink (176)
• United States
16 Dec 06
You could tell them that you are allergic, or that one of your children is, and that you will not be able to attend if there is smoking in the house.
@maddog108 (3435)
• Australia
6 Dec 06
if you are haveing a really bad reaction to the smoke you are better off saying something to them before you go there a long the lines of i really want to visit but i cant put my health at risk can we work something out or i am not going to be able to come there
@canadabis1 (1953)
• Canada
6 Dec 06
tell him to butt out or your not going...its a health factor for u and your kids...If he cares...he will stop for the visit your havin...I smoke..but I dont smoke in doors..cause of my gf and son
@kesfylstra (1868)
• United States
6 Dec 06
Tell him that. If he is a caring father and grandfather, he will be happy to oblige. And if he's not, you got bigger fish to fry.
@foreverstl (127)
• United States
7 Dec 06
maybe it will work out if your husband had a serious talk with his father. he should respect what he has to say and the children alone should be good enough reason to not smoke. even though it is his house but when u have guest over you are surpose to treat them and make them as comfortable as possible right. At least i think so. Hopefully he will be understanding and good luck.
@emarie (5442)
• United States
7 Dec 06
its true, if he's respectful then he shouldn't smoke if it knows it effects you, and he should NEVER smoke around children. just ask him to please smoke outside and wash up after coming inside, if he refuses, then you have no choice then to stay at a hotel. if he wants you to stay at his house he should be respectful of your condition, and your husband should be supportive as well.
