where do i belong?
By leonilyn
@leonilyn (467)
Philippines
December 5, 2006 11:17pm CST
hi,
i have this colleague that is having fun of talking somebody else business. i tried to stop her before but she gets mad at me.since then i've tried to go with the flow.i also do what she is doing. i know we can hurt somebody for i am a victim of that wrongdoings before. but still i continue allowing her to do the gossiping. lately i felt like she is really going overboard. i tried to explain her the brighter of the people she is gossiping. but suddenly things got known by the person concerned. and that person is really mad to us. i felt less guilty for i do less the talking. what i am more guilty about is that allowing my friend to do the gossiping. but she is a friend.. i accepted her as she is..am i wrong for that?
6 responses
@jillann (779)
• Philippines
6 Dec 06
You are in a really tough situation. Since you are her friend, it is hard for you to get mad at her for gossiping. What you can at least do is try to talk to her on how her actions are affecting other people. That such gossips are bad not only to the person involved in the gossip, but also to herself. Whatever happens, stick to you friend and make amends with those who got offended. Try to turn your friend into better person not worse.
@dunetrekker (339)
• United Arab Emirates
21 Dec 06
Since now that you realized that back biting & gossiping is a mistake, i guess it would be better not to tolerate your friends wrongdoing. You aren't wrong in accepting her as a friend but you will always be an "accomplice to the crime" if you will continue to agree with her misdeeds. Explain to her that her habit of gossiping about other people's business will just lead both of you into trouble and it isn't good. If she consider you a real friend, she will listen to your advice. It's not that difficult to let your friend understand that what she is doing is wrong. What will be difficult is for her to control herself and change for good.. and that's her part. As long as you feel that you did your part to change her bad attitude, you will find yourself released from the guilt. Better yet, apologize to those people that both of you gossipped. If you feel that your friend isn't changing her attitude after you had advised her, shun away from her. You seem to be a good person... you will find better friends around.
@leonilyn (467)
• Philippines
22 Dec 06
thank you buddy. all of us talked already. i apologize and she too did the same. we are still good friends right now but she is angry with me for telling those people that she is the one behind those things. yes your right that i am always an accomplice. no matter how i will defend myself i am still an accomplice. she is kindhearted anyway but that is really what she is doing. she is not telling something to me right now except for invites for lunch or coffee break. i dont know if she stops gossiping for she has another friends to talk to. :) hope she is not already "I REALY HOPE SO" :)
@certified_alice (1854)
• Philippines
6 Dec 06
you are not wrong in choosing her as a friend but i just hoped that you make a distance when she continue gossiping against others backs. it's not right to consent her wrong doings but atleast you adviced her to stop. i think try to apologize to those persons involved and talk to your friend again. and if ever she dont want to stop all her gossiping stuff then it's better to stay away from her or if you have a lot of patience then amend her everytime she'll do the gossip again, lol!:)
@leonilyn (467)
• Philippines
7 Dec 06
we have talked already and she said that she is done with them. i dont know if she is done with what shes doing or she is done with those people affected right now and do the same to another again.:) i sitll have to find out. now we do talk less. just invites for lunch or break etc..im happy for what she is doing right now.. i hope this will continue..:) thansz for the response sis alice...:)
@Vivek_Nik (62)
• India
8 Dec 06
Since u felt wrong about it in the first place you should not have gotten into it.. But now that you are involved, talk to the person affected and apologise for the mistake. Also stop supporting or being part of your friends gossiping.. She has not listened to you before so the chances are less that she will listen now.. Once you walk away maybe then she will realise your value..
@cooldude8889 (2609)
• Singapore
22 Dec 06
No you are not wrong for doing this.It's your friend that is in the wrong.gossiping is not cool.Would you want someone to gossip at your back?No right?Why gossip?Just do your work and everyone else do their work finish their work so they can get home and do their own stuff.
@leonilyn (467)
• Philippines
22 Dec 06
of course not. it really hurts. yes from now on i will not entertain gossiping issues anymore.. thanks for all your advises.. i really feel great for having good responses from all of you. i wrote a letter to my friend just a minute ago. i told her im so sorry for confessing. and i greeted her merry christmas and happy new year. and she said its over. she admits that she is angry but its over now. and im sure were okay already. she is leaving for their province and will be back next year. hope gossiping will be done no more.
