My mother and my boyfriend
By Judobird
@Judobird (88)
December 6, 2006 2:40am CST
Hiya, I would appreciate some help with a dilema I am having, and I wonder if anyone is/has been in the same situation. I have been with my boyfriend for well over a year now. He is however in the army. My mother does not approve, mainly because my father and her were in the army and my father was an officer and my boyfriend is not. Her disapproval stretches so far as to refusing to meet him whenever he has been home. Her reasons for disapproval is just because I want to be a lawyer and she doesnt want me to end up married in the army...however my boyfriend and I have discussed this and we decided if we end up getting married he would leave the army because he doesn't want to be married or have children in the army. I don't understand why my mother is so objecting to my relationship with him as he is a lovely guy and is very intelligent and has never hurt me and treats me well and always acts like a gentleman around me. Which makes me question her reasoning for not wanting me to be with him...or in fact not even agreeing to meet him. What should I do?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@vicki2006 (127)
• United States
7 Dec 06
I think that if you really love him and want to be with him, do so. Your mother and father will grow to understand your decision. It may take them a while, but they'll get over it once they see how happy you are. But I have to say that your boyfriend can't just LEAVE the army. He signed up for a term and can't just quit. The only way he could get out of it is on medical leave. Good luck!
@mansha (6298)
• India
7 Dec 06
I think its very easy to talk about changing jobs and starting new life etc.from your post it isn't clear how long you have known the guy.You have written around you his behavior is gentleman like-do you know what is his actual behavior like.After marriage its not easy to switch jobsWhat are his qualifications,in case you need to leave your practice will you two be financially sound enough to raise kids atleast.If I was in your place I would have gone with my mother's instinct.Mother's have a nose to smell things,many times they can not pin point the problem but they know its simmering.From your post I feel his polished behavior around you does not seem genuine.No one is so perfect so what's fishy?You have to elaborate some more-for us to give you more advice.I feel as if whole picture is not there.
@Jshean20 (14349)
• Canada
7 Dec 06
Your mother probably feels that even though he/you says he will not stay in the army while you're married or with children, he may end up changing his mind. Your mom probably has her own personal issues with mixing army and family life since she was once in those shoes, she's probably worried for you and doesn't want you dealing with that. If you really care about the guy, obviously don't leave him because of your mothers opinion. Talk to her and find out what the real reason is behind this, do you really think it's just because he's not an officer like your dad was? This seems silly..I think it goes deeper than that.
