I think my hubby is cheating what should I do?

United States
September 17, 2006 8:53am CST
Okay so for the past month he has just not been himself. He goes out every weekend, he leaves in the middle of the night with no explanation, and he gets mad about any little thing I do ao that he can start an argument and leave. He got mad yesterday b/c the baby was crying. I mean I love him with all of my heart and don't want to lose him. Our kids need him. What should I do??????? help!!!!!
2 people like this
41 responses
• United States
17 Sep 06
TALK to him. sit him down and confront him. ask him whats been going on, whats been bugging him. and tell him how you feel.. but mostly LISTEN to what he says. it could be something totally different then him having an affair
1 person likes this
@SunnyDays (1071)
• Bahamas
17 Sep 06
I have learned one thing - Rely on your gut feeling and if you feel your Husband might be cheating you might be right What should you do ? there is no easy answer to that but foremeost you have to try to talk to him..Ask him whats going on and why he changed . Maybe its job related and/or other bigger problems are on his mind . If its not that I would try to find out whether your feeling is right or not and confront him Good luck to you
@Antianara (608)
• Australia
7 Oct 06
simply ask him what the problem is. tell him about his behaviour and ask why he has been doing it.
@MySpot (2602)
• United States
22 Sep 06
He may be stressed out. A lot of Dad's feel a lot of pressure to be a good husband, father and provider. I'm sure good communication will clear things up for you... if you're still unsure, you always have your gut feeling to follow. I'm sure you will get through this and come out stronger, either way.
@jhannon (1410)
• United States
22 Sep 06
I would shock him.Next time hes ready to leave say ya know what im gonna leave you always get too.Leave him with the kids chances are he wont go anywhere and youll leave him confused..Then when you get back he might initiate a talk on his own..Or when he leaves folow him.If ya dont have trust you have no relationship but if ya have to do a lil searching to se where hes going i would..
@chelblp (115)
• Philippines
22 Sep 06
You have all the right reasons to be thinking that he's cheating. To be in your situation is very difficult. I think you should be more observant to his actions. Has he only been starting to act like that last month? If it's not yet too late then maybe you can still correct the wrong things that he's doing. Confront him. Talk to him personally as calmly as possible. Tell him what you are thinking and how you are feeling. Don't be a nagger, you're driving him away and to his mistress - if he does have. But don't be too negative. Maybe he's just working on the wee hours to add some more income or something. But just be observant.
@AndreaM76 (1164)
• United States
22 Sep 06
I'll pray for you to make the right decision, tell him you miss him. Tell him you are scared.
@bwakjira (445)
• Ethiopia
22 Sep 06
If he is okay talk to him frankly. If not i don't know what to do. If he is not in love with u i don't think he will be a nice husband for u and a nice father for ur kids.
@psmohan (1883)
• India
22 Sep 06
THis is due to some syndrome in some males which is equivalent menopause in ladies if the men also crossing 40. Better consult a pshychiatrist
@sanell (2114)
• United States
22 Sep 06
yikes, sounds like signs to me I mean leaving in middle of night? Does he have a cell phone or a pager? Have you thought to go into his phone records or check his email account to see what numbers do not look familiar to you or to see what numbers he tends to call first and foremost? maybe ask him what is going on and see if he will be honest with you.
@pauline29 (151)
• Malaysia
22 Sep 06
Must be difficult with the baby and this. Cook his favourite meal, and then talk to him. Don't accuse him of being so secretive and all, just say in a very calm tone of voice that you're noticing some changes lately. Ask if there was something bothering him and that you understand if he was having a hard tme in the office. Hopefully that will get him to open up. Good luck!
@van123 (1288)
• India
22 Sep 06
Trust him
@StarBright (2799)
• United States
22 Sep 06
You can ask him what’s up. You can have him followed. PIs cost money. You can sneak around and spy. But first, ask yourself how much you really need to know. Next ask yourself if you can handle the truth. Then ask yourself what you will do with the information once you get it. Sounds to me that you are asking a question you already know the answer to. What you are really saying is, “I do not want to get out on my own. I am scared. I do not want to leave him, but what kind of woman will I be if I stay and put up with it?” Forget the BS about his stress on the job. That’s crap. Nobody gets up in the middle of the night to go out unless something is afoot. Nobody picks a fight because the baby is crying. I think roztredtoes made a good point, tho not in the most tactful way. I do not think you are a dummy, but I agree, a lot is at stake here. If you are disgusted by your husband’s affair and want out, start planning your independence. Get the kids situated so you can get a job. Take your time. Be methodical. However, if you love him and you think he is worth fighting for, put a little more effort into the romantic side of your marriage. Draw his attention away from Mommy at home with the screaming kids. Focus more on the sweetheart in you. It may be a little extra work at first, but the rewards may be worth it. Bring back the girl he married so you can get back the guy you married.
• India
22 Sep 06
Something must be sure on his mind..may be some stress ..some job tensions, may be a health problem.. Just be stronger, patient, observing,understanding,.. You can inquire with his close friends or collegues casually..Try to get an opportunity to talk to him..give him some space..If he would have in affairs ,,,he would have tried to be too good but he would not have gone edgy.. It is surely a stress ,,I feel no affair atall..give him a litte more attention ,,without nagging ,,,be more loving and caressing,,Your marriage is not on rocks ..may be he himself on rocks,,Put your all patience and wait carefully ,,Love him not just like a wife ,,as a mother..as a friend.as a well wisher..He himself will open up..Belive in GOD and yourself and him aswell..It's matter of time and patience and faith and support,, DO not fight ,.,Please
• India
22 Sep 06
Something must be sure on his mind..may be some stress ..some job tensions, may be a health problem.. Just be stronger, patient, observing,understanding,.. You can inquire with his close friends or collegues casually..Try to get an opportunity to talk to him..give him some space..If he would have in affairs ,,,he would have tried to be too good but he would not have gone edgy.. It is surely a stress ,,I feel no affair atall..give him a litte more attention ,,without nagging ,,,be more loving and caressing,,Your marriage is not on rocks ..may be he himself on rocks,,Put your all patience and wait carefully ,,Love him not just like a wife ,,as a mother..as a friend.as a well wisher..He himself will open up..Belive in GOD and yourself and him aswell..It's matter of time and patience and faith and support,,
@shaggydog (648)
• Canada
22 Sep 06
have u come out and ask him and if he is bust him up, put him out don't put up with that crap there r too many diseases out there that he could bring home to you and those are some of the signs that you mentioned i hope it's not true but some men are not happy with what they got
@wsue1023 (1396)
• United States
21 Sep 06
You may be right. I'm sorry if he is. Certainly sounds suspicious. I'd have him followed so you know for sure. Then you can deal with whatever the truth is and not make yourself crazy wondering about it.
• India
21 Sep 06
well! i think you need to talk to him with love and care.. if he ignores you then try to learn what his problem is by asking some of his friends.. when u know what actually is the problem with ur husband then you can act accoring to it... if you dont get any possible reply even from them then u need to take help of either your parents or ur hubbys parents or both of them and try to solve the problem tat way... if you have any problem to consult the parents then the last but not least is to spy on him....and if get him redhanded then u can directly talk to him about the matter..and try to solve it hope tat will solve the problem
• Jordan
21 Sep 06
I think you have to talk to him ,maby he has a money problem,or something make him feel bad in his work,just try to talk to him that you just wanna help .
@tishabest (602)
• Belgium
21 Sep 06
He will probably deny it if you confront him so either you snoop and get some proof or talk to him in a non-confrontational manner hoping he will open up.