Is it alright to lie,when you know that it is better than telling the truth?

India
December 8, 2006 2:01am CST
Im 17 and i hav got a boyfriend.My parents are unaware of this,i have been in this relation for almost 2 years now.Whenever i meet him,i have to lie to my parents as i cant tell them the truth,because they are orthodox,overprotective and wont accept my relation with him.Im very close to him,and i dont want our relation to break.I have been lying to my parents for so long now,and i feel very guilty so many times,i just dont know what to do?Please help me!
7 people like this
105 responses
@ru88en (2997)
• Philippines
8 Dec 06
No. I believe, honesty is still the best policy.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Dec 06
honesty is the best policy but sometimes you have to lie
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Dec 06
yes, honesty is the best policy,but if you really love the person just go... i know how you feel, half sad and half happy. because of your situation.. why don't you try to tell to your parent's about the your bf,?
• India
8 Dec 06
well i believe honesty is the best policy, but sometimes u still got to lie as i can save u from so many things and a lie that saves is better than the truth which can hut everyon, but somep point of life u got to talk it out, well and its good by begining to discuss about these issues in ur family and then telling about ur relationship
• United States
8 Dec 06
You know what i think they you will have to tell them the truth sometime of course but by lying it may have helped you stay with him become closer with him as if you had told them in the first place you may have never gotten as close as you have i think that the lying is ok i mean for true love you have to do what you have to do even if your parents dont approve because only you know what you want and who you love and you should be able to date whoever you wanna
1 person likes this
@lissaj (532)
• United States
9 Dec 06
I don't agree with that. They are going to find out sooner or later, then what? When they forbid you to see him? Your parents cant keep you away from boys forever.
@neon2000 (2761)
• Philippines
9 Dec 06
You don't have to lie when it comes to love. Fight for your love if your parents doesn't agree with your relationship to your boyfriend, at least they are aware how much you love him. If they still insist what they want, there is still no point in lying, tell them that you can't live without him. LOL!
@dholey (1383)
• India
8 Dec 06
well in your situation , it is difficult to give any suggestion but .. i can tell you one thing .. IF YOU WANT TO CONTINUE YOUR RELATIONSHIP and if you are thinking to have a life time relationship with him DO STUDY PROPERLY AND BE ON YOUR OWN FOOT then you can think for it ... AS you are only 17 (you may be some sort of school or jr. college) it is not the time to think for everlasting relationship... you have seen only 17 summers yet ... lot more to see next ... so concentrate on your studies , do your graduation ... hope you will read between the lines hope u understand what i said ..
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Dec 06
Very strong and to the point!! I hope my own daughter would take this advice!
@metal333 (251)
• India
8 Dec 06
tellin the truth is always the best thing...but in your case if it was me i would have surely lied...i wouldnt matter telling a small lie... but it always better to tellthe truth...even in this case
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
8 Dec 06
Hmm... I think you should tell the truth to your parents.. because It will really hard to hide it all of your life. When you will marry him. You must tell your parents right? so it's better to talk to them now and try to convinience them about your boyfriend. Gud luck ^^
1 person likes this
@katcarneo (1442)
• Philippines
8 Dec 06
i did the same thing when i was your age and i was also troubled for a long time. but you really have to tell them simply because its the right thing to do. they'll probably go nuts but what's the worse they can do. maybe they will forbid you to see him again, but hey, if you guys are really in love then you'll find ways to get around. i don't think itsight to breakup with a person just because you're parents told you to. i think you should tell them the truth and stand up for it by saying you will not end this relationship. because it's just gonna get worse if they ask you to break up with him and then you'll say you did but you really didn't.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15322)
• United States
8 Dec 06
Lying is never OK. When your parents find out they will be hurt. and you will have lost their trust. this will be between you for a long time.Just maybe they have good reason for not wanting you to see this young man. They have been around the block and can see things you can't because of you age. at your age love is blind. If your young man was worth his salt he would have engouraged you to tell the truth along time age. You must come clean with your parents before it is too late.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Dec 06
I think from now on you should tell them the truth. No good is going to come from continuing the lie, once they find out they are going to lose all trust in you and its just not going to be fun. =)
• India
8 Dec 06
dear friend..if you can't look unto the eyes of your parebts it means you are doing something wrong...being from an orthodox family,you must abide the norms which are followed by your family and hence respect your family...The possible solution would be sit and explain to your parents,the relationship and when they approve your erlationship,it is going to be a great life thereafter..
1 person likes this
@pagli84 (1850)
• Netherlands
8 Dec 06
you're going to have to tell them eventually or they'll find out on their own and be very angry with you about it. it's better to tell them now and just hope that they won't restrict you from seeing him. if you wait too long, you will get even closer and closer to him, so, if by any chance you cant see him because of your parents' reaction, then the situation will be even more difficult for both of you. i know you think they wont understand, but maybe they will surprise you.
1 person likes this
• Uganda
9 Dec 06
I think you are still quite young to be in a relationship right now, it can mean to be dangerous to your future plans. I suggest you hold on this relationship and think about what you want to do with your life. Time will come in the near future when you will find it really neccessary to be in a relationship and your parents won't stop you, but definitely not now. I don't mean you break, but let it hold on.
• India
8 Dec 06
yes its alright to lie when you know that truth is going to hurt the person you love but this happiness is temporary because you will have the guilty feeling all through outt your life.
• Australia
9 Dec 06
She has been lying for two years! She is beyond feelings of guilt!
@Kaorin (757)
• Australia
8 Dec 06
The longer you lie, the worse it is to get OUT of the lie. You need to tell the truth to your parents now, before it gets too hard and you find yourself in a lot more strife than you would if you were just honest and had told them straight off the bat. I know it seems like its easier not to face the truth, but it really isn't. It's not good to lie to your family. If they love you, they will support your decisions whether they agree with them or not.
@shaf001 (180)
• India
9 Dec 06
nice advice and i agree with u.
@blueman (16513)
• India
8 Dec 06
i think it is a good thing to do but not always. better to tell the truth, though some may dislike you for doing that but it is always good in the longterm.
• Philippines
8 Dec 06
yeah!!i agree!!
@phon4u (2217)
• Laos
7 Jan 07
You had better tell them, so you won't cry later. You don't know if he is good or not. Your parents will know exactly. I have seen many discussion on being pregnancy before marriage on Mylot. If you hide your feelings to ur parents, it is not good way to do.
@cr1st1nel (3567)
• Romania
4 Jan 07
Well a time ago i have passed through what are you passing now too. It was very hard to me to keep the secret. Every time i had to lie to my parents that i am not with someone and things like this. I don't know what advice to give you because it is very hard ... and i don't want to push you to something wrong. Good luck!
• Philippines
31 Dec 06
well i have been in the same situation as you...difference is.my parents found out!hahaha and 6 yrs has passed and they still hate me for it.but hey,im still with the guy.so my advice for you is..you tell your parents the truth,they might not like it at all,but it is better if they would really know who you are out with.introduce your boyfriend as a "friend" first..then eventually if they get along like for a couple of months,then tell them he's courting you or something...there that's all i could advice you to do.hope it helps you in someway. =) good luck!!
@runsgame (2032)
• India
27 Dec 06
In case of need U can tell lie. it is always allowed
@Darkwing (21588)
27 Dec 06
I think you're in the wrong. You hit the nail on the head yourself... your parents are only protecting you. How are you going to handle this if it comes out that you've been lying to your parents for two years about this boyfriend? Don't you think the situation will be worse, because I do. I feel it's always better to be open, and now you're seventeen, you're almost of an age that you don't need your parents' guidance any more. Come clean, I say... you needn't tell them you've been with him for two years, as I think that would only cause deeper problems at this stage, but tell them you met this guy, whom you're very fond of and would they like to meet him? Include them, gain their trust and life will be much simpler and more happy for you, because you will gain the freedom to be with your boyfriend without the worry of your parents finding out.
@shooie (4985)
• United States
26 Dec 06
a lie is a lie there are no really good reasons to lie. I mean if you were one of my stepdaughters and lied to me for two years and I found out about it forgive you yes but trust you no. You would have to earn my trust all over again.