Long Distance Relationships...Can they work?

@MySpot (2602)
United States
September 19, 2006 8:14am CST
There are two sayings... "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" & "Absence makes the heart wander". Which do you agree with? I think whoever came up with those sayings, came up with the 'heart grows fonder' one, but after too long.... changed it to 'wander' : )
2 people like this
45 responses
• Japan
21 Sep 06
It depends on the strength of the relationship & how committed both parties are.
2 people like this
@MySpot (2602)
• United States
19 Nov 06
Committment is important for a long distance relationship to survive... or at least a mutual understanding that there is NO committment.
@Lillith (775)
• United States
23 Sep 06
Long distance relationships can be very very hard. It requires a great deal of trust to make them work. My husband and I did the long distance thing for a year. It was not easy, but we spent HOURS on the phone, and emailed everyday as well. Another version of that saying is "Does absence make the heart grow fonder or forgetful?" :)
21 Sep 06
It depends on the commitment placed into the relationship by both parties.
2 people like this
• India
20 Sep 06
Long distance relationships may or maynot last.it depends on the persons.if both trust eachother then there is no problem
2 people like this
@ossie16d (11825)
• Australia
9 Apr 07
Well I think that if a couple share true and genuine love that it can last the distance, despite being apart. Long story, I met my (now) husband and for the next 5 months we saw each other every day except for 2 weeks when we were in separate states on leave. Then we got engaged and were apart for 2 months and saw each other for 2 days before he embarked overseas for 6 months. He returned and we had 2 weeks organising things for the wedding, then saw each other every weekend for the next month. After we were married, we had 6 weeks together before he went away and then saw each other every weekend for the next 5 months, 6 months together, 3 months of weekends, then apart for another 6 months. Last year we celebrated 36 years of married life. We kept in regular contact through letters and phone calls once a month. It was too expensive to phone more often than that back in those days. So yes absence can make the heart grow fonder, but it does have to be nourished as well and this is what we did. Now as a coincidence our son is involved with a young lady who lives in another country. He is currently at home here in Australia but will be going overseas in the coming weeks. This is a relatively new relationship in that they only knew each other for 5 months before he returned home, and saw each other mostly on weekends. But it is obvious that they are serious because for the past 4 months they have emailed each other twice a day and they have phoned each other twice a week. So, being apart has not harmed their relationship and has probably enhanced it in many ways. They are getting to know each other very well, and probably better that they would if they were together all the time. Now they need to spend some time together again before making any major decisions but the absence doesn't appear to have harmed their relationship any from what I can see. :)
@ossie16d (11825)
• Australia
13 Apr 07
Thank you very much for giving me best response for this one MySpot, and it is genuinely appreciated.
@mchu519 (465)
• United States
18 Nov 06
Long distance relationship doesn't work because they start to forget each other and forget what they like each other in the first place. Long distance relationship makes people remind themselves that they really like that person, but after awhile they would not no why. People always meet new people and long distance relationship ends easily. That is what I think so please don't bash me.
1 person likes this
@MySpot (2602)
• United States
19 Nov 06
I appreciate you sharing your view. No worries, there is NO BASHING ALLOWED in my discussions! All opinions count here in myLot ; )
• United States
24 Sep 06
I am in a semi (3 hours away) long distance relationship. We met on-line 7 months ago. And so far everything has been great. We see each other every weekend and talk on the phone or online 5-6 times a day. We are both in our 40's and have been in relationships before, so that may make a difference, but if you are both willing, you can make it work. To be in a relationship like this, there has to be a lot of trust, understanding, and honesty.
• China
24 Sep 06
They also say "Out of sight, out of mind." In 2004 I left my GF in China to return to Oz, we were seperated for 9 months but I called her nearly every day and when not calling we used MSN webcam, e-mails and SMS text. We kept in constant contact because of that the relationship stayed alive and we are together now -- have been living together for 18 months + . While in Oz I got several offers from interested parties but resisted temptation,-- as did she. As others have said it really depends on how strongly you feel about the other and how much self control you have --- if you have desires; they WILL manifest.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Sep 06
Hey, Aunt "MySpot". We just talked about this the other day, since I'm in a long distance relationship. And everything I could say has pretty much been said already by everyone else. It depends on the commitment of both people in the relationship. I'm very committed to my girlfriend, and she makes it clear that she's very committed to me, also. We're both very persistant people and don't like giving up. And even though she's in college, I've already met some of her family (without her, lol) and none of her other boyfriends did. I know problems will arise. Problems HAVE already happened. We both realize that feelings change all the time. You can be happy one minute and sad the next. But whether we're mad at each other or upset with something, we both KNOW that we love each other and any little problem can be solved if we WANT to solve it. We made sure that we got our little problems sorted out right away, because we always want to make sure that we're both happy when we have to say goodbye. We have to hang up not WANTING to hang up. We have to do/say little things to make each other smile and feel great, so it helps that we're both pretty good at saying pretty things =) We also make sure that we remind each other how much we care, appreciate, love, and miss one another. And, as you know, we talk on the phone for a few hours a night, and on the computer a little. We also pray every night =) I guess we'll find out if it can work or not, huh? I'm hoping so, because honestly, I am in love with her. I could go on and on about the little things we're doing to make this work, but I won't! =) Just keep your fingers crossed for us.
@moneymind (10518)
• Philippines
23 Sep 06
I think they can. greetings. : )
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 06
depends on the people
1 person likes this
@DeenaD (2688)
• United States
21 Sep 06
I think it can work, but it's so hard so both partners have to be committed to making it work.
@oscarc (864)
• India
21 Sep 06
i'd go with the second..it's what is practically true..the first one is probably something some crazy poet came up with...
1 person likes this
@prasanta (1949)
• India
20 Sep 06
I think both are true. I mean instances support both the sayings. However, in today's world, "Absence makes the heart wander" is most common.
@van123 (1288)
• India
20 Sep 06
YES
1 person likes this
@maevic (821)
• Bahrain
20 Sep 06
It's very difficult to have a long distance relationship. Take it from me as I have before with my husband. It's really difficult when you really don't know whom he is with. There's a small chances that long distance relationship will work...in my case we got married but there's some consequences...
1 person likes this
@chalmette69 (3008)
• United States
20 Sep 06
I think they can work, but it is hard being so far away, it is just more complicated.
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@spikyarj (519)
• India
20 Sep 06
dont think it will ever work...there will be a lack of understanding among people if they are seperated by long distances....
@MySpot (2602)
• United States
19 Nov 06
Don't you think that the distance can be helpful in developing more meaningful relationships? There isn't the physical factors, only mental understanding. Sometimes, I think you can get to really know someone better when there is only mental communication between you.
@sblossom (2169)
4 Aug 09
I think in the beginning of a relationship distance maybe is not a problem. people can overcome it and try to contract each other by phone or by emails. however it can't keep long. if the relationship can't really go into real life, one day they will feel tired and will seperate each other. so i think good relationship must be back to reality, they must try to meet each other and to move closer to each other to keep the relationship.Distance is just one disadvantage to them now. if you keep distance relationship, you must be positive and try to do some change to suit the relationship. some times it means sicrifice.
@taripres (1499)
• United States
23 Jul 09
Well, it all depends on the people involved in the relationship! I personally don't like long distance relationships in the physical sense, because I'm a very affectionate person, so I'd rather be alone cause I'd have a fit, though I wouldn't cheat! Now, a relationship could be long distance and you live in the same household!! If the two aren't on the same page or one or the other mind isn't in it, you might as well not be there, cause your heart isn't so somebody's just taking up space!! So in either case, if the individuals are not strong enough to handle the stresses of any kind of relationship, they should just be by themselves!! But if you both put mind and heart into it, a long distance relationship could work out just as if they lived next door or together!! Taripre$