What is the best joke you have ever heard?
30 Dec 06
These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe... 1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. 2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. 5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time). 7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. 8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. 12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug. 15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are. 16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. 17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly. 18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet. 19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
30 Dec 06
Take me to the 10th floor,' said Banta Singh as he entered the lift of a high rise bulding. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and said, 'The 10th floor, beta.' 'Why did you call me beta?' demanded Banta Singh. 'I am not your son.' 'I called you beta because I brought you up,' replied the liftman. Banta showed his plam to a palmist. He examined the lines on Banta's hand and said,'A beautiful girl will come into your life, but be very careful.' 'Why should I have to be careful?' asked Banta. 'She should be careful of her life. I drive a Redline bus!' Mrs Kartar had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband. She sent it to her husband by parcel post along with a note. The note said: ' The buttons of the sweater are removed since they where too heavy and added to the postage . You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater. Avtar and Kartar used to stay in same building. Avtar on the ground floor and Kartar on the 25th floor. One day when the lift was not working, Kartar invited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25th floor to find Kartar's flat closed from outside and had a note which read: ' How did you enjoy your dinner? ' Not to be outdone , Avtar wrote under it , ' Sorry , I could not make it.'