Mental Pictures

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"It's a wrap!" Don't you sometimes wish for time to freeze or go in slow motion, particularly when you feel strongly about some things or thoughts? Romantic thoughts? Unwrap it. Don't stop. Go! GO! GO! I heeded Sakinah's, my funky 12 yo-niece, recommendation to listen to a soundtrack and found myself wishing for time to freeze. I couldn't help but wish for time to freeze because I was soaking in the joyful feeling of the sappy love song. Many weeks ago, Sakinah suggested that I watch an Indonesian movie, 'Heart'. That was when I first listened to the soundtrack. I got hooked. Last night, I played the song on repeat mode till 4 am while at the same time got myself deeply engaged in some creative endeavour. I have been trying to memorise the lyrics but I find it tough. Sakinah told me to quit it because whenever I sing, I would badly mutilate the lyrics. The problem is, I cannot understand the meaning of the lyrics but I really love the melody. After that, she told me to watch the movie. Last night, we went to look for the VCD but it was sold out. This evening, while at mom's, I proposed that we try getting the VCD again. So, along with Miana, my funky 17 yo-niece, we walked and chatted and voila! The VCD was on the racks! The journey to get the vcd was fun. I loved the bonding I had with my niece, more so when I could hear the soundtrack of the movie piping through Sakinah's new Nokia mobile (12yo? Mobile? Lucky bummer!). Back at mom's, I managed to convince Sharman, my athletic 18 yo nephew, to let us watch 'Heart' over 'Lord of the Rings' - yes, no kidding. So what about the movie? Well, my eldest sis shed tears, to our affectionate ridicule. All of us were glued to the screen, with Mianah and Sakinah providing side commentary whenever my sisters had clarifications to ask. Bibik and Sri watched the movie too. They are the real Indonesians and could understand the vocabulary better than we do. Or rather, than I do. Needless to say, it wasn't at all a clueless movie watching experience for me because it came with a Bahasa Malaysia subtitle. Regardless, the plot is very universally accessible and I really, really, REALLY enjoyed the film. Had I watched it alone, I'd probably cry. Strange I know but you know, I believe everyone has a movie, or movies, which we would watch repeatedly at different phase of our lives. I reckon 'Heart' is going to be one of those films for me. Not because I'm in love or anything but because, I feel love is everything that it has to be - self-sacrifing, selfishness, jealousy (not fatal attraction sort), nobility, hopelessness, hopefulness, joyous. 'Heart' resonates with me because it inspires me in all these areas, as much as it probably brought back some familiarity (less the drama). So, yes, if I've watched ' Anaconda' umpteenth times, as I did with 'Elizabethtown', 'The Hours', 'Miss Congeniality', 'Breakfast at Tiffany's', 'Coyote Ugly', I will shamelessly say that 'Heart' will be next in line, after 'The Constant Gardener' which I watched a month ago. One of the mornings last week, I woke up and the first thought that crossed my mind was - 'I'll be 34 next year. Wow!' and then I started recollecting my conversations with Jay many years ago about who I'd like to see on my deathbed. Of course, I had my parents, family members, nieces, nephews, cousins, relatives, friends in the list but seriously, I really don't know what to think, or what I will think, when THE TIME comes. I know, for sure, I want to be in the purest form of existence. To be in ONENESS with LOVE. GOD resides in there. Now, I hope and pray, that wisdom beckons within my heart at every phase of my life. I know I cannot live without love - with or without the roses. .......Love does not come in a box. Well, enough said, Sakinah would probably be shaking her head if she reads this because yes, even as I'm writing this, I'm actually running the music video of 'My Heart' on repeat mode. Probably Sharman too, who after the movie, raised unfounded suspicions that I'm in love - what with me getting myself a ring for my little pinky (which I did out of sheer joy of self-loving! To feel the 'funk' of life). Speaking of Sharman, where was he when we watched 'Heart'? Asleep right in front of the tv. Not because the movie was a bore, but because he was tired from a full day of activities, soccer included. Thank GOD for that! I felt bad initially that I didn't give in, as the Uncle, to the my nephew. :-)) All said and done, I have to say, everyone in this world should fall in love. Not for the sake of falling in love, but for the very inexpensive yet priceless experience which will allow us to know that we are all humans capable of hurting and getting hurt. Either way, we feel hurt so we cherish and relish in the experience. We get the best gift from life and living - Mental Pictures; as we continue our love mantra in our private, quietest moment.