When Santa runs out of Prozac.
December 13, 2006 9:53pm CST
My sister sent this to me in an e-mail. I had a laugh, so I thought I would pass it around. Hopefully, A few of you will have some laughs. Dear Santa, I wud lik a kool space ranjur for xmas. Iv ben a gud bo al yeer. YeR FRenD, Billy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in trash disposal. How about I leave you a damn dictionary so you can learn to read and write. I'm giving your brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell. Santa P.S. Have your mom start calling you "Rainman." ** Dear Santa, I've been a good girl all year and all I ask for is peace and joy for everybody. Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked a lot of pot when they had you didn't they? Santa *** Dear Santa, I've written you for 3 years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really, really want a fire truck this year! Love, Joey Dear Joey, Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you know what to do with. Santa **** Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas I would really like for my mommy and daddy to get back together so we can be a family again. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, What and ruin the hot little affair your dad has going with the babysitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane son! How about I leave you some legos instead and you can build you a nice new family? Love, Santa ***** Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a playstation, a train, some GI Joes, a dog, and a drum set. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who in the hell names their kid Frances nowadays? I bet you are gay. I'm leaving you a Village People album instead. Love, Santa ****** Dear Santa, I left some milk and cookies for you under the tree and some carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, If you wanna be a kiss-butt, leave me a nice bottle of Chivas Regal, some Toblerone, and tell your mom to wait up. Love, Santa ******* Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in sweat shops in China . I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time getting drunk, squeezing cocktail waitresses' butts, and losing all my cash at the craps table. Hey, YOU wanted to know. Santa ******** Dear Santa, Do you really see us when we're sleeping and know when we're awake like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you decide to do in life. I'm skipping your house. Santa ********* Dear Santa, I really, really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please.... Love, Timmy Dear Timmy, That whiney, begging crap might work with your folks, but that crap don't cut it up here. You're getting a sweater again. Santa ********** Dear Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get in our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you are getting your butt whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house. That's a low-rent apartment complex you and your crackwhore mom live in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad like all the other burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa