I've been engaged for 3 years..how long is too long?

@AndreaM76 (1164)
United States
September 20, 2006 9:17pm CST
I've been with the same person over6 years and engaged 3 and we have a soon to be 2 yr old. How can I get him to quit dragging his feet?
1 person likes this
36 responses
@Karinne (1223)
• Australia
4 Oct 06
Yes well i think thats too long. Just tell him you want to set a date and start planning the wedding. Put your foot down!! lol
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@AndreaM76 (1164)
• United States
13 Oct 06
thankyou ...it takse forever to getting around to posting responses.
@hppygrrrl (419)
• United States
22 Sep 06
I think it depends on the circumstances. If there is no obvious reason why you 2 shouldn't get married, then he needs to step up. Also, you need to evaluate how important marriage is to you. If it is something that you are not willing to compromise on, & he knows it, you may seek counseling or explore your other options.
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@hppygrrrl (419)
• United States
22 Sep 06
I think it depends on the circumstances. If there is no obvious reason why you 2 shouldn't get married, then he needs to step up. Also, you need to evaluate how important marriage is to you. If it is something that you are not willing to compromise on, & he knows it, you may seek counseling or explore your other options.
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• United States
22 Sep 06
Hmm thats hard to say...I was engaged to my exhusband for 2 years and that one ended in divorce..it was like I didn't even know the real him. Now I'm with an incredible man for the past 3 years..we talk about marriage (more so our families do) but we haven't taken that step into an engagement. Him and all his friends and co-workers refer to me as his wife. I think if we do get engaged, I want the date set at the time of our engagement. Sounds like your fiance has a fear of committment and I dont understand why since you two have a child together which is an even bigger comittment that marriage. Maybe back off a tad and dont mention it or bring it up for some time and see what happens. Good Luck!
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• Netherlands
22 Sep 06
4 years and over i think u need to start worrying
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@chelblp (115)
• Philippines
22 Sep 06
You know what? Have you read a book "The Rules" it is about having and eventually marrying mr. right. In "The Rules" (I will just summarize and write what I remember) now that you have a two year old child, so you think that maybe he's thinking that because you have a child you will stick with him that's why he's taking the engagement way too long. Let me just suggest to just don't think about marriage. Think about only yourself - loving yourself. Play the reverse psychology method. Have you heard of that? Stop asking him about marriage for sometime. Think of you and your child only. If you look good then try to be looking more good. Let him see your worth as a woman. Try to be the person you are before you found him before he found you. I have a friend who used "the rules", it gave her great results. He's married now to mr. right.
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@chelblp (115)
• Philippines
22 Sep 06
I think when you're engaged you shouldn't be waiting long to get married. Here in our country, it's not good to be engaged too long. Maximum engagement period is a year. If he's dragging his feet then maybe he's not at all prepared by the prospect of you two living together. Maybe he's afraid of too much responsibility. I think you should ask the guy. Let him talk to you honestly why he's taking the engagement way too long.
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@CORDALE (868)
• United States
22 Sep 06
I think long engagments are good. plenty of time for flaws you may have missed to show themselves
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@mjtenorio (237)
• United States
22 Sep 06
My husband & I were together for 8 years then one morning we woke up and decided that it was time to get married. Some men have commitment issues. I've heard of people being together & not married for like 20+ years, but I guess that works for them. What is his reaction when you talk about the wedding? Does he have an excuse as to why you should wait?
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@pauline29 (151)
• Malaysia
22 Sep 06
He's probably commitment phobic type. Sit down, talk to him and if need be come up with an ultimatum. Do it only if you're prepared to act on the consequence.
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• United States
22 Sep 06
It's never too long...unless you want to get married...I have a friend just like you he's been w/ his gf forever well 6yrs...they have kids together and live together....he wanted to buy her a ring and I kept tell him too because I know most girls would want a ring....well anyway he just kept debating it he said "What's the point of a ring if we have been together this long! It's like we are already married" I think It's true.....
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• United States
22 Sep 06
You are welcome
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@kesav010 (1686)
• India
21 Sep 06
its never too long..when u r ready for it.. have the marriage..till den chill...
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@Folingo (14)
• United States
21 Sep 06
3 years is too long. Force him to make a commitment using whatever means possible. If he backs down then he has no intention of commiting
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@ehans2 (309)
• United States
21 Sep 06
shen the time is right then you wil get married dont push it beause a lot can happen
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@ssh123 (31096)
• India
21 Sep 06
I donot understand the logic behind this. May be he is thinking "delay enhances pleasure". This is apt for a moment, an hour or a few days. But not years. What is not based on felt needs, is not desirable. I am sorry to state this. You should take a bold step to ask to tell you YES/NO.
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@Aali311 (6125)
• United States
21 Sep 06
You can't, I don't think you should force him into anything he's not ready for, somepeople just take longer to commit. If you love him you will understand and give him the time he needs. Don't look at things from just your point of view, step into his shoe, I think the important part of his committment is over with, he's been with you for that long so he must love you. Take it one day at a time and enjoy eachother all the time.
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@krishna183 (2286)
• India
21 Sep 06
iv never been engaged before .. im only 20 lol .. so i have no real idea about how much is too long .. but 3yrs i feel is kinda long .. usually its 1-2yrs .. anyways , depends from people to people and also the reasons that they have
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• United States
21 Sep 06
Have you tried talking to him?
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@SunnyDays (1071)
• Bahamas
21 Sep 06
I really have no answer for you - I have learned that nothing can keep a man away or to commit to you if he really wants you ,,,, What does he say if you ask him ??????
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