Can my son sign away his paternal rights?

@lesnan (538)
United States
September 21, 2006 1:17pm CST
My son was involved with a girl a while ago. She told him after they broke up that she was pregnant. She then told him a week later that she had an abortion. A month later, she told him that she had gotten married. She has now contacted him and told him that he has a one month old kid. He saw the kid and said that she looked more like 4 months old than 1 month. Anyway, this girl told my son that her aunt is a lawyer and that a social worker was coming to MY house to make sure the environment is stable enough for a baby. She wants to stick us with the kid on weekends so that she and her husband can party. My son doesn’t live with me. He’s 20 and is barely making ends meet with a minimum wage job. She’s also 20. Se also said that her aunt was going to make my son pay $1000 in hospital bills and $1000 per month (do the math lady….. the boy’s only making minimum wage!) He wants to sign away his paternal rights and be rid of that crazy family. No paternity test has been done yet.
10 responses
@Brooke3 (610)
8 Oct 06
i don't think he will have to pay that much, but if your son got someone pregnant then he has to take some responsibility. Take a paternity test and all that. I think it's disgusting that this child is possibly your grandchild and you don't even care.
@lesnan (538)
• United States
8 Oct 06
I am 42 and have absolutely no problem with being a grandparent. We just want this girl to stop playing games. She wants money yet won't consent to a paternity test. Now she's saying "Never mind, my husband is going to raise the child as his own" which leads us to believe she married him because HE is the biological father and not my son. If she turns out to be my granddaughter, I will love the heck out of her and spoil her to no ends.
@Brooke3 (610)
8 Oct 06
Okay, I misunderstood from your first post and I thought that your son wanted to sign away rights to his child. I'msure that he has legal standings to demand a paternity test. It's a sad thing that in our world fathers dont' seem to get the same rights asmothers.
@lesnan (538)
• United States
8 Oct 06
No no, you didn't misunderstand. He panicked in the beginning and asked me to find out some information for him, so I posted the question here.
• United States
9 Oct 06
This is a great subject for me! My husband went through the same problem. 1st thing, get a patrinty test done. 2nd thing, no one can come inspect your house on behalf of her unless she files a complaint. The complait would have to be really bad for SS to come to your house. 3rd thing no one will have to pay $1000. My husband has a great job and only pays $337. So don't worry there. 4th thing, shes married and if she was married to another guy when the baby was born then your son can not be held responsable for any medical for her. The baby yes, if the baby is his by blood. 5th thing, your son can sign his rights over because there is another man involved that already knows the child so therefore he can adopt. I hope this helped. If you have anymore questions let me know.
• United States
9 Oct 06
Unless he is on the birth certificate or has a positive paternity test they cannot legally force him to pay child support. There is no proof that he is the father therefore he does not have to pay. If she consents to the test and its positive he will have to pay the hospital bill but not the support before he was legally determined the father! Also, the state cannot force him to have visitation in your home. YOU have to agree to that. I would seriously have a test done and then start looking up the laws for it in your state. Its different in most states.
• United States
10 Oct 06
Or just talk to this crazy woman and find out if she even wants him to be apart of the childs life. Also one more thing, when you guys talk to her, record everything, buy a little tape recorder with a microphone and record what kind of crap she is pulling. Then she cannot go into court and lie about the conversations you had cause you will have solid evidence.
@MINDY0882 (2304)
• United States
7 Oct 06
If he thinks this baby may not be his then a paternity test should be done. She had the baby it is her responsibitly to take care of that child and to learn to act like a adult and stop partying. I had my child at 18 and i was ready for one , me and my man got married at 18 as well. I worked making min wage and my hubby only made 150 a week so it was tough but we made it through. If he only makes min wage no way they will make him pay that much they cant.If this is his child ,I think he should take up the responsibility of being a father as well. A child needs a father in his life and if he signed his rights away then later in life he may realize this was a wrong thing to do. If this was my kid (son) in this situation which he is only 1 lol,but if this was to happen and the mom would rather party than keep her kid I would help him get custody of that child and help him as much as I could with the kid. He should be glad to get a chance to see his child,some fathers out there that want this chance dont get it, but it is also not fair to stick him with the child on weekends all the time as he may want to be with his freinds as well too. she should ask him to watch him some during the week and maybe a nite on the weekend and they would get equal time with the child. the first thing I would do is get the paterniity test, if the child isnt his then all the problems are gone. If it is then take part of that responsiblity.I do think they can sign off there rights but not sure, and if he does I hope he doesnt regret it in life of when his son finds out who he is and starts asking questions.I could never sign away my child but either way I hope it all works out for the best
@eladmj (127)
• United States
7 Oct 06
U know, my children have children and I have 21 grandchildren and they think i should be available at the drop of a hat to baby sit but I have raised 7 children my husband and I never had to ask any one to see about them and I think that she see about her on child
@MINDY0882 (2304)
• United States
8 Oct 06
well they shouldnt exspect u to watch them all the time or all at once, that is all there responsibilty and they should respect u as well. sometimes though shouldnt hurt
@eladmj (127)
• United States
7 Oct 06
If they try to make him pay child support, they must establish if is the father or not, then they will base child support on what he make. and I would not worry about hospital bills, because I am quite sure she went thru the health department and got that card that all of these young girls get when they are pregant. write me back so we can talk
@MINDY0882 (2304)
• United States
7 Oct 06
yes she probly did have the mediacaid that paid for it all,i had this with all 3 of my kids. 1,000 in hospital bills, if she paid for all of it , the bill would be a whole lot more than that .
@eladmj (127)
• United States
7 Oct 06
I would not worry about this, dont let it get u down, u know how some of these girls are they think they can get something for nothing, but I would wait for the paternity test. Have u seen the baby, because u know if u see some features of your child
@ilse72 (1453)
• United States
8 Oct 06
Whoa! Let's take one step at a time. First, I recommend getting an attorney. Then have your son insist on a paternity test. Next the "aunt" cannot determine how much child support your son will pay IF he is the father. A court will decide that. Do not let him sign anything this aunt brings over and don't even speak to her. Tell her she can contact his attorney. I'm sorry about the attorney fees but I really think this is a necessary expense or your son might get railroaded into paying for a child that is not his! His attorney would be sure that you are not lied to about the paternity test...that you son will see a copy of it. This girl is obviously a liar...first she is pregnant, then she had an abortion, then she is married and, lo and behold, she has a kid? Give me a break...I smell a scam!
@ilse72 (1453)
• United States
8 Oct 06
Arg, I forgot to mention that, in some states, even if he signs his rights away, he can still be held liable for support payments if he is the true father. Please, see an attorney!
@hitman (124)
• India
10 Oct 06
no way it is bad for him
@DRoddy77 (1776)
• United States
10 Oct 06
It depends on the laws in your state. Where I live, a father can only sign off his parental rights if the mother has married and her husband is going to adopt the baby. Even if BOTH parents want the father to sign off his rights the courts wont allow it unless there is someone to take his place financially!
@mtdewgurl74 (18159)
• United States
9 Oct 06
My niece had a baby a little over a year ago and the father tried to deny being the babys father well, a paternity test confirmed him the father. I think your son needs to do the test as soon as possible and child support goes by how much your son makese sorry to disapoint her but she will not be making as much as she thinks. And before she can stick him with parental visits then i would make sure he got the test. sounds as though they are trying to scare your son into giving them money for their parties. But don't let him give them anything. Make her prove it! I'm thinking she knows your son is a nice sweet man and would take care of a child if it was his but tell her to find another babysitter till the results are in. I hope and pray that things work out for you and your son. If he is the childs father then welcome to grandma hood where you can spoil and love the baby. But don't let them use the baby against you for any reason. that if you don't do this or do that they won't let you see the child. well good luck.
@sedel1027 (17850)
• United States
7 Oct 06
Legally, he can sign away his rights. If he decides not to, the should go to court for custody and child support (he can get a probono lawyer) and the courts won't make him pay anywehre near that amount for child support. It is income based (for both parents) and many other factors are involved. If he does decide to sign away his rights, put out the money and get a really good lawyer. It makes a world of difference.
@slimfox (900)
• United States
1 Oct 06
i would first have a paternity test done..if it is his then get a lawyer..he can either for for his rights to get joint custudy if wants or sign his rights away..