child's confusion on nurturing mother and grandmother

This is obviously a problem that has been going on for many years. You have to put a stop to this immediately or loose all the respect from your child completely. First of, please remind your mother in law politely that he is your son and you are the person who decides what is best for him. Meaning that you also decide what form of discipline is necessary to be enforce. This would mean that she cannot interfere when you reprimand your child when he has been misbehaving. While it is important to discipline your child, what is more important is to spend quality time with your child and listen to him. You first will have to be his friend and make him feel like he can count on you, thus ensuring that he feels secure. It's only when your son feels like you are his friend that he will start to open up to you. When this happens, naturally he will also be more obedient and would want to listen to you more. Kids just want their parents attention. As long as your mother in law minds here own business while you are around, then things should be alright. I have 2 boys of my own so I can imagine what you are going through. I made sure that my kids know who is boss. Even my own mother dares not to interfere. Having said that, my boys also find me most affectionate in our family as I spent a lot of time playing with them after work. Just playing and being friends with them will take you a long way. This is a work in progress. It will not change overnight, you have to work on it. It takes time. Good luck and let me know how it turns out. I hope this was helpful.