Were your parents very strict when you were growing up?
By Alexandria37
@Alexandria37 (5717)
Ireland
December 16, 2006 9:15am CST
I had a very strict upbringing, more from my mum than my dad. Mum laid down all the ground rules. She told us who to have for friends and who not to have have for friends. She sent us to a school which was a couple of miles from home because she didn't want us to mix with the local children. If visitors came to the house, we were sent to our rooms so that we couldn't listen to their conversations. We were also told never to speak unless we were spoken to. We got a clip across the ears, if we spoke at the dinner table or if we put our elbows on the table. As teenagers, we were told to be home by a certain time and all hell broke loose if we were late. I had three brothers and three sisters and if all of us were going out at night, the rule was, that the last person home was to lock the back door. Needless to say, my brothers took great joy in locking the door as soon as they got home, and I would then have to knock on the door and waken my parents. Then the interrogation would start. They were very loving parents and it is only now when I have children of my own that I realise, the sacrifices they made and that everything they did was for my own good. My sisters and brothers now laugh at the scoldings we got and we agree that it was all for our own good. I eventually married one of my neighbours and became best friends with another.
19 people like this
80 responses
@acosjo (1903)
• Canada
8 Jan 07
I would say my upbringing was a little bit of both. My parents did not take any crap from me (they, meaning my mom) would let me know when I was out of line, but they, meaning my mom, wasn't a drill seargent either.
My mom was always on the protective side, but I wouldn't have changed that.
I hope I can raise my kids the way they did me.
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
8 Jan 07
I think my parents really wanted to protect us too. I must admit, I was a lot more lenient when rearing my own children, but all three of them make me proud. I appreciate your response. Thank you.
@bobet17 (158)
• Philippines
5 Sep 08
I like the parents who are strict to their child,It shows that they want the best for them,they care for us,parents knows better than us,I salute my parents because I can say that Im a good person now and this is because of them,they love me so much ,they teach me how respect others and manymore.
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
5 Sep 08
That's good bobet. We can learn a lot from our elders. I am sure your parents are very proud of you. Thank you for responding to my discussion.
@habichuelo (3100)
• United States
6 Mar 07
ohh,,,yessss,,,everytime i wanted to go out to hang out with friends they used to tell me ""come back before tenpm"""...i say damn thats the time everyone start to go out at night,,so whats the freaking point then on letting me to go out??
and other things too!!!
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
6 Mar 07
That was strict! Even in my young days I was allowed to stay out until 11pm and with permission I could stay 'til 1am. Things should be different now, as the night life is only beginning at 11pm. I can understand your frustration.
@cjsmom (1423)
• United States
6 Mar 07
My mother was a single parent and she tried her best but I think she was a bit mental. I have a brother and sister and whenever she'd get mad at us, she'd use a hangar, brush, or extension cord on us...Boy, did that hurt!
I swore I would never do that to my kids and thank the Lord, I haven't. I don't hold any ill thoughts toward her as I now understand what she was going through.
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
6 Mar 07
My mum used the same but I never regarded her as mental - probably because I didn't understand what the word meant at the time. However, I am sure the seven of us must have driven her mental at times. We really don't appreciate what they did for us until we have our own families.
@superbren (856)
•
22 Feb 07
my father was the strict one. mum was great fun and she loved to hear about our exploits from the night before. if we had a hangover she would bring breakfast, dinner and rtea to us in bed and say we had a flu. we had manys a flu lol. we were not allowed out til we were 16 and then anything went. you could roll in at 6 am and nothing was said . we lived in the country and there were no taxis then so we often had to walk 10 miles home. it was worth it though and we would lie in bed all next day and get up at 6pm , grt ready and off to party again . those were the days .
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
22 Feb 07
Oh, I think I would have loved to have your mum. She sounds like great fun. My friends mum was like that and I loved talking to her. I should give you a minus because you had such a good time, but I will give you a plus for sharing it with me.
@seamonkey (1976)
• Ireland
6 Mar 07
No, not really. My dad was a bit of a pushover and it always fell to my mom to be the 'bad' cop. Myolder siblings were much more disciplinarians than our parents were. I think I'm stricter thann my parents were when I was gorwing up.
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
6 Mar 07
I think my dad was also a bit of a pushover but he wouldn't disagree with my mum. My older brothers and sisters were also very bossy even more so then my mum. I was never as strict as my parents with my children, but then I didn't need to be, they were quite good and never gave too much trouble. Thanks for responding.
@Jshean20 (14349)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
I know what you mean when you say that you appreciate how your parents treated you when you were younger. I think a lot of kids grow up thinking that their parents were being unfair.. but once they are mature adults themselves, it's easy to see why they did the things that they did. As a kid my parents would always call ahead to see if I was infact going where I said I would be, basically just to let me know that they weren't gonna let me run around the streets. I can't imagine growing up with parents who just didn't care or who completey took your word for everything..teenagers (like everyone else) do lie and the things you do through your teen years can be so critical in where you end up, this is why guidance and protection is important.
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
15 Feb 07
I agree. I don't know how many times I lied to my parents only to be found out. Parents are much cleverer than we give them credit for. Thanks for your nice long response. I appreciate it.
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
21 Feb 07
Oh, we used always blame each other so my mum would punish every one of us. "One for the sake of the other" she used to say. It's all in the past now and I think it is rather funny when I look back on it.
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
11 Feb 07
Yes, my mum would alway check our homework and made sure we studied regulary. After all, it cost quite a lot of money to send seven of us to college. It's only now that I realise all the sacrifices she must have made for us. I wish I could have done more to thank her for it.
@whiteheather39 (24403)
• United States
15 Feb 07
I was pretty strictly brought up, went to a private all girls school, wore a school uniform from 5 years to 17 years of age. Little or no make up and manners towards elders, manners towards teachers, table manners even mannerisms were frowned upon if not ladylike. I went wild for a time when I escaped all the restrictions now I am glad as I still have many of these lessons affecting my life.
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
15 Feb 07
Sounds exactly like me, except for the make up. That wasn't allowed in the school. Neither were pony tails, we were told not to imitate animals. They were the school rules no my mums. Thanks for responding.
@recycledgoth (9894)
•
15 Feb 07
I was born in 1951, a time when there was still rationing after WW2 and a time of austerity. My brother and I were both brought up quite strictly, as was normal back then. I was brought up to respect my elders, respect the law and respect other people. I was snacked when I did wrong, my Dad was a school teacher and he brought the discipline of school into the home.
My parents both worked hard to care for my brother and I, something I didn't always appreciate at the time. They made a lot of sacrifices for us and it is only now that I am a parent myself and a lot older, that I realise that while my upbringing was very strict, it was definitely for my own good and made me a better person I think
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
15 Feb 07
Oh, I remember the ration books and the gas masks which we used to play with. I think these must have been rationed too, as there was only two of them between eight of us. My mum scrimped a lot so that she could get me a cream bun every Friday. They were good old days and the dicipline just made better people of us. It was lovely to hear from you and thank you so much for responding.
1 person likes this
@musaib (84)
• India
15 Feb 07
yes,its a fact that every parent will be strict when their child grows...i tooo have the same prob..my parents also took care of me alot and also not very but strict to me..thats what i can say about me. actually parents thaught that their child is growing up, and should not be in a wrong thing..to guide them a good and a straight path..parents will be strict on the children.that is my thinking.
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
15 Feb 07
You have a very good way of thinking and thank you for sharing it with me.
@merkava (1225)
• Philippines
15 Feb 07
I had a strict upbringing because I was the guy in the family. I was also the day-dreaming kid. My father and mom grew up in poverty during their youth and now that they're successful they don't want us to experience that so they have to sometimes push us to do our best even if it hurts them. Their pushing paid off. All of me and my siblings are very successful in our given fields and I think we wouldn't have achieved that if it wasn't from the values that my parents taught us.
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
15 Feb 07
It was much the same in our family. We were all born either during or after the war so things were pretty tight. However, they scrimped and scraped and make lots of sacrifices to put us all through college and it all paid off in the end. We made them proud of us, and we are very thankful to them for it. Thanks for the nice response.
@navjitpahwa (112)
• Canada
15 Feb 07
I too had a strict upbringing but not that much...I too had to be back home by a certain time n had to do household chores to help her...i was not allowed to go to any trips n was nt permitted to sit in discussions with older ones in case of certain topics...
but now i have adaughter myself n realise that even i might ve resented that my mother was strict,i myself am thinking of imposing such things...so now its quite understandable why she was always after me to behave in a certain way..how life revolves in a circle...
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
16 Feb 07
Isn't it amazing how we might not have understood what our parent went through until we go throught the same experience. I must admit I wasn't quite so strict with my children and they all made me proud of them. Thank you so much for responding.
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
30 Jan 07
I was the only child, the docs actually told mum that she couldn't get pregnant, so I guess I was a miracle child, sometimes spoilt, but I was always a good kid. My parents weren't at all strict with me and gave me a lot of freedom and respect and independence. They were always there for me but never pushed me into anything. They respected my decisions and there was only a few times I stepped out of line, they were extremely supportive and believe it or not I wasn't a rebellious teen. In return I showed them respect and I never gave them cause for concern.
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
31 Jan 07
Well, from reading your response, it seems that your parents must surely be very proud of you. Well done. You have just earned yourself a plus rating and thanks for responding.
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
11 Feb 07
Seems like the majority of our mums just wanted what was best for us. Without them, I wouldn't be where I am to-day.
@cyndhirella (549)
• Philippines
9 Feb 07
Its common to all parents to be strict, most especially with mothers. They tend to be very protective to us. But then, we should not take it againgst them, because its also for our own good.
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
11 Feb 07
I agree with you. Mums can be very protective and it is just their natural instinct. I thank my parents for it now. They had our best interests at heart.
@poohandchocolate (348)
• United States
29 Jan 07
I had a strict upbringing as well. I think it's better that way. I'm glad my parents were strict on me because I now understand why they chose to do so. My mom made sure none of us would ever use bad words. And I plan to be strict with my children too when I have children one day. Giving kids too much freedom isn't safe these days.
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
29 Jan 07
It is good that you understand why your parents were strict. Now my daughter is being strict with my grandaughter, though not as strict as I was with her. I get a commentary every day on the wars between them, but I can't take sides. I am just going to phone my grandaughter now, to give her a little subtle advice. Thanks for all your responses.
1 person likes this
@ginagee (843)
•
6 Feb 07
I used to get the cane across the backs of my legs, especially if I couldn't run up those stairs fast enough out the way!! That was from my dad, or I'd get a good old smack. One time I went to a party and my dad came to get me and he walked in through the french doors, stood there in his slippers and bellowed 'where is she', needless to say I left pretty sharpish.
but no they weren't very strict ha!
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
6 Feb 07
I am laughing at your response now, because my mum would have done exactly the same thing. My dad would never embarrass me in front of my friends, but my mum knew no bounds. Now that we are all so much older, I can see the funny side of everything, and I really appreciate what my parents have done for me. Thanks for sharing your experience with me.
@lalitha55 (193)
• India
6 Feb 07
This whole discussion seems to be a carbon copy of my life and I agree completely with you when you say that your parents makde sacrifices for you and your siblings. It is only when we have children of our own that we realise what our parents have done for us.
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
6 Feb 07
Yes, we will never be able to thank our parents enough for the all the sacrifices they made for us. I wish now, that I could have done more for my parents.
