December 16, 2006 2:53pm CST
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master Divorce: Future tense of marriage Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. . Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before. Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet. Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. Father: A banker provided by nature. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
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