Insecure People?

United States
December 16, 2006 9:49pm CST
Do insecure people not mix? Like as a couple, I mean. Let's say two people are together and they're both insecure. Person B doesn't have much confidence and is shy and very much introverted which frustrates Person A and makes them feel unwanted, even though that's SO untrue! In the end, both people wind up frustrated and perhaps a little sad. Feeling bad or whatnot. What do you all think? Can two insecure people make it work together or are they doomed to frustration and guilt?
4 people like this
35 responses
• United States
17 Dec 06
Well I think Person A may want to talk to person B and clear this up. Introverted people can still make a relationship work. Does Person A and Person B bothknow that the other is insecure? If so they might could use this similarity to strenghthen thier relationship.
• United States
23 Dec 06
I'm pretty sure they each know the other's insecure. In my opinion, I would think they could help each other out because they should tend to know how the other would feel, you know what I mean?
@disvachic (10117)
• United States
17 Dec 06
I really dont think so.I dated a guy and he was very insecure always thinking i was seeing somebody else or he was always thinking i wasn't feeling him.I can imagine if we both were insecure it would not work out because we both would be worrying to much and accusing and lacking selfconfidence
3 people like this
• United States
23 Dec 06
Maybe insecure was the wrong word because it's not as if the two people don't trust each other. They trust each other completely, they just tend to not feel so great about themselves, you know?
• Singapore
17 Dec 06
well, in my point of view, yes, but then changes got to be done on both sides, if they want to be together, they got to change to suit each other.. =D
2 people like this
• India
17 Dec 06
Insecure people find it tough to mix with others and to trust anyone easily, which can always make them harder to have confidence in others
2 people like this
• India
17 Dec 06
yes , they can mix but chances are very rear, one of them needs to have lots of patience.
2 people like this
@pelya178 (693)
• United States
17 Dec 06
well i think they just need to discuss their feelings more openly. talking about ur feelings always resolves things
3 people like this
@Ynefz0r (832)
• Finland
17 Dec 06
It's all up to the couple if they work it out or not. All i can say is you shouldn't worry about little things like this. Usually everything goes just the way it has to go naturally, even without a human trying hopelessly to "fix" something.
2 people like this
@kgwat70 (13388)
• United States
17 Dec 06
I believe that two insecure people can make a relationship work if they both put the effort into it. It may be difficult at first because they are still getting to know each other but if they try than it can work. They may need some kind of counselling, whether it is family and friends or a professional. but it takes the effort of both people to make any relationship work.
@leedug (920)
• United States
18 Dec 06
They could probably make it work more so than a confident and insecure person together. Two insecure people tend to feed of each, becoming co-dependent and comfortable. They can also understand each other more because they feel the same way about things. There is this couple I know and they both are the epitome of the word "insecure". I cannot STAND being around them. They play mind games, even with friends, and they never want to go anywhere where they may feel uncomfortable, so basically they either go to local hole in the walls or stay home. Anyways, they feed off each others problems and it seems to work for them.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Dec 06
Yeah, I agree with you. I think it would tend to work a little better for them because they tend to know how the other feels and understand more than other people would, you know? But then it could be that sort of thinking that could get someone in trouble.
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
17 Dec 06
i agree, two insecure people together can not have an effective long lasting relationship. For me we all fall in to negotiated roles when we start a relationship, one of us will be insecure, one will be confident and take the lead. Two insecure people would destroy each other with jealousy and this would eventually turn to resentment if not hatred
2 people like this
@yorb24 (2179)
• United States
17 Dec 06
It's possible. I don't think I've ever come across it though. I imagine one of them would have to be a bit more dominant (less insecure) than the other for it to work. Good question.
• United States
18 Dec 06
Insecure people can easily change with the right help. Some people don't have the chemistry that's needed to be in a relationship, and that's just the way it is,even if you love that person. That's my opinion. :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Dec 06
this is a little difficult to comment on... what i think is that the insecure person must be informed that his/her insecurity is affecting the relationship in a negative way. if the insecure person is unwilling to change or improve, at the very least, then yeah, it's gonna be a short relationship. first of all, though - why be in the relationship if it makes you SAD? i mean, relationships are not all love and happiness and all that crap - but if you're 80% happy, then i think that's pretty good. if not, what's the use?
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Dec 06
Well, I don't think the relationship itself makes them sad. It's mostly when one is frustrated, it makes the other sad. Know what I mean? The two make each other very happy otherwise.
• United States
18 Dec 06
yes, two insecure people can make it work, as long as they are both willing to work at it. also it's important to not think solely of yourself, and your feelings, but to take into consideration your partners feelings as well.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Dec 06
its difficult, but definitely possible
1 person likes this
@mbs730 (2147)
• Canada
17 Dec 06
I admit I am VERY insecure. I think that so many people are against me and I do know in fact it has happened before that they have been but even when it's not I feel that way. I feel like I am the one always being judged and singled out. I have stupidly jumped to conclusions before. Not fun.
1 person likes this
@baknudz (241)
• Philippines
18 Dec 06
insecurity doesn't matter for me. But i would say that perhaps it might work out for them.
1 person likes this
@Irecapat (40)
• United States
17 Dec 06
I believe that no, two insecure people in a relationship does not mix. Someone has to be strong in the relationship. Now, with that said those that are insecure have to be especially careful of who they get with because if their partner knows they are insecure, they may take advantage of that person. That's how you get emotionally scarred people that have been abused verbally and/or phyiscally.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Dec 06
yeah, insecure people don't really mix at all
1 person likes this
• Australia
18 Dec 06
No, insecure people need secure or confident people to change their mentality. Insecurity mixed with Insecurity just creates more insecurity.
1 person likes this