Never knew being a mother was so demanding

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It has taken me a long time, a very long time to realize that being a mother to my kids is one of the most important things in my life right now. I have never been the "stay at home" type of mom or wife. I have worked all my life and I have worked production work in factories for the most part of it. Have had a few retail jobs along the way. But I am the type of person that craves socialism and attention. I have to be around others to be able to maintain a level of happiness and sanity.My kids are 16 and 11 and not long after my yougest was born, my husband had his first heart attack. He also suffered from lupus,and that led to him being on disability. He was the primary caretaker of the kids and of me for that matter-we never had to worry about anything. Dinner was always cooked,clothes were always washed-he provided for our every need as far as the home goes. He died three years ago, and skeptics(my family members) were unsure if I would ever figure out how to wash clothes or feed my kids something other than fish sticks and box mac & cheese.Even though that was in my younger years and my husband taught me alot about cooking. I am much wiser today, but I have been on medical leave from my job for over a year now, and I must say that being home with my kids has shed new light on what I may have been missing for years. But they are older and they need me more now that my husband is gone-they need me home to be at there beckon call and provide for their every need. I think I like being here for them, helping them with homework,study for tests, going to football games, other school events and just being able to do what they need me to do for them because they need me. So, I am trying to look into other ways to make money and be able to be home with my kids. For the first time ever-they actually told me they didnt want me to go back to work,they want me to be home with them where I belong. Never thought I would qualify as being mother of the year,but I guess to my kids,I must qualify this year.At 37, I am still learning and getting wiser.