Advice needed for friend - s*exual harassment / myLot

Ireland

December 17, 2006 6:28pm CST

A friend phoned me this evening. She was really upset. She works in a small office with just herself, the boss and his wife and another girl. She's told me before that the boss makes her feel very uncomfortable as he's always making jokes with s*exual references. He also makes comments and frequently asks about her love life. She puts up with it because his wife is also in the office and never passes any remarks but just laughs it off. This afternoon she said she was at the fax machine when he came up beside her, gave her rear end a squeez and told her to move over. Then he laughed. She said she was so shocked she just excused herself and went to the bathroom where she cried her eyes out. She says she's too afraid to say anything because she needs the money. She's afraid to rock the boar as both he and his wife work there. She's already asked him to relax with the lewd comments and he hasn't. I really don't know what sort of advice to give her. At the moment I'm just a shoulder for her to cry on. Has anyone any idea what she should do?

3 people like this

5 responses

tsamcq

@tsamcq (457)

• United States

18 Dec 06

She needs some documented requests for him to stop. If he continues, she has grounds to sue. It may also be good if she started looking for another job now.

1 person likes this

BittyBiddy

@BittyBiddy (2903)

• Ireland

18 Dec 06

Yes, I told her she should be writing everything down and she has been doing that. At least she has taken that much action, but she doesn't seem to know what to do next. Personally I don't think that she is being forceful enough in telling her employer to stop what he is doing.

BittyBiddy

@BittyBiddy (2903)

• Ireland

26 Jan 07

Thanks babykay. I haven't spoken to this particular friend in over a week now. I must give her a call tomorrow and see how things are.

patgalca

@patgalca (18481)

• Orangeville, Ontario

30 Jan 07

I don't understand why she puts up with this if it upsets her. Who wants to go to work every day to face that kind of thing? Unless they actually like it. I'm not saying that your friend does like it, but you would think she would do something. I can understand not being able to afford to quit, but there is nothing stopping her from going to Human Rights and lodging a complaint. She may not be able to afford a lawyer, but certainly Human Rights can help.

1 person likes this

BittyBiddy

@BittyBiddy (2903)

• Ireland

31 Jan 07

I know patgalca. I was on the phone to her last night and she started to talk to me about this again. I just couldn't take any more of it. I said to her "Just stop it right there. I don't want to hear about this any more because you're not doing anything to combat it". She ended up hanging up on me because she thought I was being "self-centred".

Bbilal

@Bbilal (1998)

•

18 Dec 06

harassment - harassment
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Tell her to leave the office and try to find the new job.

1 person likes this

@BittyBiddy (2903)

• Ireland

18 Dec 06

I've told her this so many times and she says she can't. She lives in the middle of the country and this office is situated only a couple of miles from her. There is literally no other employment for miles around. It's a difficult situation as she has a child and they live with her parents. I'm not sure where she'd go if she had to move into town to find a job. Anyway, I think her boss should have some cop on. My friend enjoys her job, is good friends with the other girl in the office, and does a good job apparantly.

Alexandria37

@Alexandria37 (5717)

• Ireland

18 Dec 06

There is a law against s*exual harassment in the workplace and I would advise yur friend to consult a solicitor. If he does these things in the presence of his wife, then your friend should definitely say something regardless of whether or not his wife is present as she would probably be better off without a slob like this in her life. In the meantime, I suggest that your friend seeks alternative employment. Hope she gets everything sorted out, as this type of thing can be very distressing.

1 person likes this

Lil_miz_ice_x

@Lil_miz_ice_x (614)

•

30 Jan 07

I think your friend should sue this man for all he's worth -- and the fact that his wife accepts it only makes it worse -- she could actually probably get enough money to cover her rent etc for a few weeks so she wouldn't have to worry about the lack of a job while she was looking...

1 person likes this

BittyBiddy

@BittyBiddy (2903)

• Ireland

30 Jan 07

I phoned my friend last week and she was still working there and still whining about the boss behaving inappropriately. I told her that I'd given her advice and that she wasn't listening to it. She just won't do anything about it so I can do nothing else for her. :/