Poem I wrote - discuss, add your own, enjoy

United States
December 19, 2006 4:42pm CST
Walking in the Rain Running, being beaten by the rain He upsets an unwanted, cast-aside scrap Which flips and squirms in pain And slips down the grate into crap Travels and tumbles with impact And falls to the ocean floor To become a mere artifact For all but humanity to ignore Millions of moons to come Some excavator will unload That priceless scrap that came from The forgotten man, walking down the road. The man still presses onward The rain harsh against his face Pulling his jacket forward Causing sight of others to erase A young lady walking by Could endure no more of this Ran home and began to cry For every ignore and dismiss She killed herself that night After that one final straw Of the man who didn't give hindsight To that woman that he saw. That same man, now several paces ahead Releases the bottle from his hand Which falls quick as if were dead Shattering as he planned Hours from now a courier on this street Will puncture his tire on a shard Will lose control and will unseat Plunging fast and hard Cars brake and swerve Killing, but cause untold Of the man's nerve To throw his bottle in the road. Every action of this man Had a consequence Although not done in plan Or meant in offense He will never know If the truth be told What others will undergo Because he walked down the road.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
27 Dec 06
Thats fairly good, do you write poetry profesionally? If you dont then you probably could. maybe send a few into the newspaer or something (I dont know how it works theses days). Can I please have your permision to post that in a forum I belong to, I think some of the other members would apreciate that as much as I did. I would of course give you full credit for its creation.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Dec 06
I don't write professionally, but I have taken a couple courses on poetry writing. you could share it, that is fine. I am glad you enjoyed it so much.
1 person likes this
@Adversa (406)
• Australia
27 Dec 06
Thankyou, I will share the responses it gets with you. Pro or not, you have talent.
• United States
26 Dec 06
I really like this poem! Amazing how we don't really realize that little things we do can really affect those around us and even millenia to come. Human arrogance once again. I think I'll share one as well. It's short but I like it. Twilight Flight Soft glows bloom neath darkened bower... Tiny wings flutter to nearby flower... Magick weaves an enchanting spell... Fairy whispers only trees could tell... Pale moon high on starlit night... Goddess joins in the fairy flight... Dancing, dancing til dawn is near... Escaping laughter is all we hear...
• United States
26 Dec 06
I like your poem also. It creates a really good image. that is the great thing about poetry: you can say a lot without having to use so many words... thanks for your response!
• United States
6 Jan 07
that is a very nice poem. i like it. i also write poetry. had one published, and plan on getting more. you should see about that. i think you could get published :)
• United States
6 Jan 07
as we sit here, thougts untold, reflecting on a worlds so cold. a world so empty, full of hate. sitting still, pondering fate. wondering where life shall lead. the mouth of greed our pockets feed. we live to earn, and earn to live, yet all the money we shall give. give to those of power and wealth to gain some land, and keep our health the money gained so soon is lost. but to live, such is the cost.