Gay 'Lifestyle'

United States
December 19, 2006 9:12pm CST
Alright, I hear this thrown around all the time. That being gay is a lifestyle. And I honestly don't understand it. A lifestyle is: the habits, attitudes, tastes, moral standards, economic level, etc., that together constitute the mode of living of an individual or group. I'm a lesbian. And the only thing me being a lesbian effects is who I ask out on a date. If I had to narrow my lifestyle down to something, it'd be some weird combination of bohemian and otaku. For gayness to be a lifestyle, every single gay person would have to have the same interests, hobbies, moral code, tastes, etc etc. Guess what? We don't! We're all very different and we all practice different lifestyles. Gayness is not a lifestyle. By any definition. That's like saying being blond is a lifestyle. Or being right handed is a lifestyle. Is heterosexuality a lifestyle? Nope. And neither is homosexuality.
6 people like this
27 responses
20 Dec 06
“Gay lifestyle” to me conjures up images of a ‘group’ of people exhibiting homosexual behaviour in terms of the people they date, I don’t know about anybody else but when I’ve used it I’ve used it to signify a group that finds attractiveness in their own gender. I’ve also used “heterosexual lifestyle” to signify the other. I don’t believe either hold cave parties wearing witches hats and noses, it’s an easy way to referred to a collection of people that reveal their preference. At the end of the day it is a ‘lifestyle choice’ that sets the foundation for the way you live, hence lifestyle. Alright, you can come back at me that it’s not something you’ve chosen, it was given to you at birth and by all means believe that. I don’t tend to, I believe it’s physiological and not naturally constructed.
1 person likes this
@emisle (3823)
• Ireland
20 Dec 06
I agree, i have yet to meet someone who 'chose' to be gay, that argument is bogus.
• United States
20 Dec 06
No, some people are born with the blue print to be gay.
@Pigglies (9336)
• United States
22 Dec 06
I think you mean that you think it's "psychological" not "physiological". Huge difference. I tried to choose to be heterosexual. It didn't work because I'm not.
@sylviekitty (2083)
• United States
20 Dec 06
Very good point! I had a lot more to say, but it was stupid. In any case, I like what you had to say. I wish more people thought twice before they spoke.
1 person likes this
@pvleroux (607)
21 Dec 06
I have to say being gay is a choice. We are born with the "things" on our bodies to be hetrosexual. You choose to be a sexuality! There are certain things in your life that makes you lean towards a certain direction to which decision you take. There might be influences in your life that helped you to make that decision, but you are not born homosexual...
@pvleroux (607)
21 Dec 06
no wonder you could not become hetrosexual because you looked for the answers and the ways at the wrong place. Science dont have any prove that we are born in that way, it is consumptions made and peoples opinions. This all depends on what your beliefs is and nobody will change your mind if your belief is this.
@Pigglies (9336)
• United States
22 Dec 06
I believed I was heterosexual for years because I wanted to be. Then I settled on believing that maybe I was just asexual. All the while I was attracted to women and strongly did not want to be. Now I'm very very very glad I'm a lesbian instead of asexual! But I obviously didn't choose it.
@pvleroux (607)
22 Dec 06
not4me, do you say we are animals? I am so glad the abuse factor came up. As you can read in my first comment I said there might be things that influenced you to become gay and that might be one. I did not say it was a choice to be molested either but there are ways to deal with those incidents but that is another topic. Start a discussion like that and I will leave you my comments.
@fabiantan (210)
• Singapore
20 Dec 06
in some ways it is a lifestyle..the mannerisms..so on..
• United States
20 Dec 06
Kindly tell me what 'mannerisms' I have because I'm gay.
1 person likes this
• Canada
20 Dec 06
Hahahahahaha! You know, teh ghay manerizzims! ;} ~Wyrdsister
• United States
20 Dec 06
Well...I do spit after I smoke. Is that gay? Oh! Oh! I gesticulate a lot. Is that gay? I have a Boston accent, is that gay? I raise my eyebrows a lot. Is that a gay mannerism? Is there a handbook I could consult? Or a memo? Anything?
1 person likes this
@not4me (1713)
• United States
22 Dec 06
Your question reminded me of how some young girls think Anorexia is a lifestyle. Such BS!!! I was anorexic in HS and I didn't realize I was slipping into it. I mean I was only 100 pounds to begin with, very athletic and I never ever thought I was fat EVER. But once I stopped eating one summer I was trapped and by the time I was 85 pounds I didn't know how to help myself because my brain just never told me I wasn't hungry! So I get super pissed when I hear girls online saying "Ana" is a lifestyle and a choice. So I understand how you feel and I agree with you 100%.
@Pigglies (9336)
• United States
22 Dec 06
I think that can be more of a choice than sexuality though. Some people are wired so to speak, so that they're more prone to it. But you need outside influences. Or by not eating, your brain just starts getting messed up and you can get trapped. But initially you have to make that choice not to eat. I am a recovering anorexic. It's not like I one day said, "Today I'll be anorexic." But I did one day say, "My mom has been calling me fat forever, other people are skinny, I want to be skinny, I am going on a diet." Then I said to myself that I was fat and worthless. I lost weight. I kept losing. And it was a cycle. But a cycle that I at least subconsciously had a choice to start. And I had a choice to get help as well. While it is somewhat something you'll live with the rest of your life, most days I never even think about it aside from when there are discussions or possibly when people are discussing weight loss.
@pvleroux (607)
24 Dec 06
what is the picture you use? I was trying to look but cant see what it is? Is it a spider by any chance?
@Pigglies (9336)
• United States
24 Dec 06
Mine? It is algae under a microscope at 100x magnification.
@fineline (91)
• Thailand
20 Dec 06
Wanna ask you sumthin... are you a Christian?
• United States
20 Dec 06
Can I ask you something? What does that have to do with anything? It's amazing to me how much emphasis people put on the word "Christian." I've come to find that most people who claim to be Christians, are actually some of the most hypocritical, biggoted, closed minded people I've met. All because they throw this word "Christian" in front of them as if it means something because they go to church. It really doesn't. The way I see it, being Christian is more of an attitude, really. Do you think Christ wants people using his name (calling themselves Christians) while going around blasting others for their sins? Calling them evil-doers? I don't. I'm a straight person, by the way. I went to church, and even to a religious private school for 10 years. But I don't call myself a Christian, because more and more it just has a negative connotation for me. It's like Catholics sinning it up during the week and then going to confession on Sundays. Big whoop!! That suddenly saves you? You're going to heaven now? Then you're right back out the door to sleep around on your wife, tell lies and do whatever the hell else you do that constitutes sinning (according to the 10 commandments), but you still call yourself a Christian. How messed up is that?!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 06
What does my religion have to do with anything? This isn't a religious discussion. Religion has no bearing on the definition of the word lifestyle. That's what's being discussed here.
@Pigglies (9336)
• United States
22 Dec 06
Maybe Christians can only discuss issues with other Christians. If Christians get a negotive connotation, I think they've earned it. Christians try to slam their religion down your throat and convert you. Gays exist peacefully and don't go around converting people because it isn't a choice so that can't be done. Hmm... who do I want to hang out with? I think gay people. :) I've never had a Christian friend that couldn't stop bugging me to convert because they wanted me to go to heaven.
• United States
22 Dec 06
I hope you dont mind i let my friend read this and she said she was truley touched by it. you write wonderfully! i also want to say that I agree 100%
@bterrier (308)
• United States
22 Dec 06
I agree her writing is very impressive! I hope she got the message I sent saying so.
• United States
23 Dec 06
i'm sure she did
• United States
27 Dec 06
Thank you very much! I'm a freelance writer! :D
@bterrier (308)
• United States
21 Dec 06
OK I guessn I give my opinion, I think being gay is a choice. Being born with a defect, or blue eyes is not a choice. to explain my opinion if you started driving down a one way street and decided you didn't want to go that way. You could say you don't have a choice, but technicaly you do you could break the law, my not feel right and you might be afriad, but you have a choice. You may be born feeling that way and can't risist changeing the way you feel and thats fine but again I think you have a choice.
@bterrier (308)
• United States
23 Dec 06
You are right, Thanks for pointing that out. I thought I had a good point. It takes someone to be able to take how you look at something and apply what there saying to it. And Thanks for explaining nicely to many people argue it makes you not want to post your opinion. Reason I do is to better myself. So thanks! Want to fix my term of Gay Lifestyle too?
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9336)
• United States
23 Dec 06
It is a good point, sorry... I was just trying to make sure I understood it correctly. I hope people try to understand my posts and if not, do not live in fear to question my posts because I'm here to learn and I want others to give some input. I mean, don't get all mad about things like little spelling slips, but I'm sure someone is going to have an issue with something I post eventually (and a lot of people have tried to clarify, because in general, I'm not always good at that). Sorry if I offended you, please keep posting!
@bterrier (308)
• United States
24 Dec 06
No Offense thank you for adding me as a friend. I'm here to learn too.
@anne_143god (5390)
• Philippines
20 Dec 06
Yes I guess it is a lifestyle because you chose to be like that and you chose to be another person so what you are doing is your own lifestyle.
• United States
20 Dec 06
No, I didn't choose to be like this. In fact, I spent years trying to be heterosexual. It's not a lifestyle. Did you read my post?
2 people like this
@kaspyv (1011)
• United States
20 Dec 06
I get so tired of hearing people say that gays choose to be gay....are they ever going to learn or do we that know, have to just keep repeating this..."gays are born that way!"
@Pigglies (9336)
• United States
23 Dec 06
Social conditions influence gender roles at least slightly for just about everyone. But that's different than having say, a female lifestyle.
• Indonesia
20 Dec 06
no
• United States
20 Dec 06
Sorry about the missing words but this subject really pisses me off!
• United States
20 Dec 06
No what?
• United States
20 Dec 06
It's called a lifestyle by those who believe that it is a choice to be homosexual. This references the moral code, and tastes and same interests (talking about relationship gender identification). I personally don't believe this way, but many do.
• United States
20 Dec 06
Being is far from a choice. Why would choose something that is so widely hated? As far as being a lifestyle. I don't so. Do people seriously think that gay men/women wake up one morning yawn and then say,"I think I'll be Gay. I'm bored with being straight"? Give me a @#$% break!
• United States
20 Dec 06
Someone mentioned earlier that people may descibe being gay as a lifestyle because they see being a gay as a choice. I agree that some people do think it's a choice. My question for those people is, when did you choose to be heterosexual? As you've stated, lifestyle has to do with how one lives their life, not who one dates, loves, or commits to. And certainly, not all gay people live the same lifestyle. My life(style) is pretty much centered around my child's needs and work, and the routines needed to make each of those two things successful. I'm gay (lesbian), but most people would see a heterosexual lifestyle.
• United States
20 Dec 06
I've never had a person be able to answer those question acceptably. They just fall back on 'everybody starts out heterosexual!'. Which is bull. People are just ignorant.
@Idefix72 (502)
• Italy
5 Jan 07
good, that's it ! not a lifestyle.
@ronaldinu (12439)
• Malta
5 Jan 07
Misskatonic, do you agree that for most of the gay people being a lesbian or homosexual is something innate, they were born with such desires, but there are other people who just choose the gay lifestyle for popularity or to be unique for example?
@UPLANA (3159)
• India
30 Dec 06
yes i agree!it can never became lifestyle!
@uvacerba (427)
• Italy
21 Dec 06
Hi I nn task that is from defining itself lifestyle is tutt'altra what for me.
• United States
20 Dec 06
being right handed is a lifestyle! all you rightys will get whats coming to you!.
@grace1045 (115)
20 Dec 06
i dont understand how it is a lifestyle. its a sexuality, no?
@Lunnazol (296)
• United States
20 Dec 06
I agre, it's not.
@saibal06 (2575)
• India
20 Dec 06
Wh nt? I don think that homosexualiy is smethng that that we woud rater avid being out of normal science. Gayism is taken as he cmmon featre of a cmmmon blodline and as such it is not at all desrcructive. Tere fore what is nneeded is a proper educational life that can thin of a habiatants witout havibany or an tunh.