At what age is it normal for your son to not want hugs and kisses?

@Thoroughrob (11748)
United States
December 20, 2006 11:59am CST
Mine started at age 8 and now he hates for anyone to touch him other than shaking hands. Is this normal or not. My daughter always liked hugs and still does at age 23.
5 people like this
14 responses
@kittykatzz (1133)
• United States
31 Dec 06
i think it TOTALLY depends on the child, and i also feel that its usually more of a "non-affectionate" "phase", only because i remember being probably about 11 or 12 and finding affection from parents, ESPECIALLY in a public place to be EXTREMELY embarrassing...however as an "older teenager" and now as an adult, it is much more acceptable!.. even younger kids i think often throw out the common "yuck" or "gross!" to a family members' hug or peck, but then we grow and turn into the ones doling out the affection, and dont seem to realize it until we see our own child, neice or nephew let out the "EEWWW" that so incredibly embarrassed us once upon a time.. for the record, i think that typically girls experience less "non-affectionate" phases (sometimes none at all!) than boys.. your son also may have more experience seeing grown men shake hands versus hug, therefore wanting to "act like an adult" and preferring to do such.. however my younger brother (who is 17) can still be caught hugging my mom, when she stops into his work to shop now and then, without any embarassment.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Dec 06
They usually start at around 8 years of age. My kids would have to be coaxed into a kiss or hug. It wasn't "cool" to do this in front of their friends. Now that they are older I still have to tell them to give me a hug. They usually end up burping me by patting me on the back. I constantaly remind them that I do not have gas and burping is not necessary.
1 person likes this
@Justme2007 (1848)
• United States
20 Dec 06
I don't know my boys still hug me and one is 24 and the others are 20 8 and 6 My girls hug sometimes.
1 person likes this
@wotfpatty (2068)
• United States
15 Aug 07
I have two sons, ages 21 and 16. Neither lets me hug them without a struggle. But my younger son is MUCH less inclined to let anyone hug him or show affection to him. He stopped around 8 years old too. My older son still lets my sisters hug him when they see him and seems much less touchy about being touched. I kind of worry about the younger one because he is so against anyone even touching him. However, I never was one for being hugged either and I still don't like it much. Only for a good reason and now and then although I am much more inclined to hug my sisters now than when I was young. I think some boys just don't like the huggy stuff and they end up growing up that way. My husband is not a very touchy huggy person either. Meanwhile, my 30 year old nephew still hugs, kisses, and hangs on his mother (my sister) whenever he sees her and never thinks twice about hugging everyone, male or female. I guess it is a personality trait.
@Thoroughrob (11748)
• United States
22 Aug 07
I guess, but it is nice to know that it is quite normal. I was beginning to wonder if there could be a problem or if it was just what he prefers. You ask and he just looks at you stupid.
1 person likes this
@wotfpatty (2068)
• United States
22 Aug 07
I know. I asked my son for a hug for my birthday and he said "ONLY because it's your birthday and make it fast." lol. I know he loves me but it would be nice if both my sons showed it more with affection. They show it - just not in a huggy way. Maybe they will grow out of that. I think, to many kids, moms are "gross" until they get a lot older.
@flowerchilde (12534)
• United States
20 Dec 06
Yes, I think it's normal... for some, and actually for many.. my son is now 26 and I give him a one armed hug every so often, which he seems to enjoy :))
• United States
20 Dec 06
...they definitely don't like it in front of friends :))
@UPLANA (3159)
• India
27 Dec 06
i think it"s above 10!
@momofvma (71)
• United States
27 Dec 06
My son is going to be 10 and he still comes for hugs and kisses he will come and hug me in public, around his friends and every night. I don't think it ever has to "stop" my husband stll hugs and kisses his mother. I personally don't think it is normal for a child of your sons age to all of a sudden not like anyone to touch him. To me it would throw up red flags that something has happened that has affected him negitively.
@brokentia (10395)
• United States
25 Dec 06
I think it all depends on the child. I have seven children. And I have watched how different they each are. My eldest stopped wanting to give me a kiss before he got out of the car for school when he reached second grade. But he still gave me kisses good night. However, he stopped wanting to kiss me good night by the time he reached 6th grade. Now, he is 16 years old and does not like hug or kisses at all. My daughter that is in 9th grade, still loves hugs and kisses. My son in 8th grade...is beginning to back off with hugs and kisses at times. But I feel that he is struggling because he really does love to kiss and hug. So, he is trying to find his balance. My son in 3rd grade does not give me a kiss before getting out the the car anymore. But he still kisses me good night. The other 3 children...they love hugs and kisses all the time. Grades 2 all the way down to kindergarten. So, I think it just depends on the child.
@brendalee (6083)
• United States
21 Dec 06
My son went through a phase when he didn't really like to be hugged but then it passed. he is 21 now and will even let me hug him in front of his friends. I think it is normal for a child to do that.
@missyd79 (3438)
• United States
21 Dec 06
girls are so different then boys, my son is 5 and still gives me hugs and kisses and tells me he loves me, but he no longer cuddles with me while we are watching TV, now my neice that is 10 will cuddle with me yet.
• United States
20 Dec 06
my girls are still little, but are getting at the age where they want "privacy" Abby is getting at the age where she doesn't want to always be around becky or always play with becky. They still want kisses and hugs, but I do an awful lot of hugging and kisses. Today becky is not feeling well.
• United States
20 Dec 06
It's common that boys are less touchy-feely than girls. Out of my 4 boys, 3 are the huggy type and 1 is not. Don't let it hurt your feelings, it's normal.
• United States
20 Dec 06
Kids cycle, or go through phases if you will. There is no certain age when our children decide hugs and kisses from Mom or Dad aren't 'the thing to do'. It is a sign of a child developing an independence from us, which is in reality a good thing. It is entirely possible that once your son feels confident in his independence he will once again enjoy hugs and kisses from you. Just give it time and always let him know that a hug is available if he decides he needs one.
• United States
20 Dec 06
I don't have a son around but my nephew stopped liking them at 7. my two older daughters don't like to be hugged but my 17 year old still does. There's still hope for the other two. LOL