Online relationships: Can you love someone you have never met in person?

@owlwings (42563)
Cambridge, England
December 23, 2006 9:01pm CST
Have you ever felt yourself in love with someone you have never met (but hope to, of course)? I have known a number of people, through a group I belonged to, who met online and fell in love. Sometimes it works, at other times it turns out not to be what it seemed. It seems to me that, with an online relationship, one starts by being attracted to a person's mind rather than their body, so it is based on quite a different criterion to most 'normal' relationships, where one tends to be physically attracted first. Do love relationships like this fail most often because of dishonesty, because people find out that, physically, the other person is not what they were looking for or, perhaps, just because of the difficulty of meeting? When they do succeed (as I know they do, from time to time), is it because both people are honest with themselves and each other about their needs? I have no doubt that love can exist between two people who have only met online. Is it better or worse to fall in love this way?
9 people like this
113 responses
• India
24 Dec 06
online love as in SIRF TUM movie in bollywood :| it is basically crap even though i have fallen in love on the internet also :P keep trying maybe u succeed one day boi !!! LOVE LOVE LOVE :P:P
2 people like this
• India
24 Dec 06
my girlfirend and me havebeen angaged for past 3 years and i fell in love with her through online chatting.we used to talk on phone and now 3years have passed.i have met her many times and she lives 600kms away from me.and shortly we are going to get married.we both are very honest to each other.so online love exist and its very exiciting too.thanks
1 person likes this
• India
24 Dec 06
sorry 700kms.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
i am in an online relationship with a guy i met at a website. we have been communicating for nine months now, and it's still going strong. we call each other up, talk online, email everyday, and do texting as well. it is not necessarily the best way to fall in love, but it doesn't mean you can't or that you shouldn't. i just think it starts out as an attraction, a meeting of minds of sorts that pans out to become something more. and as someone said in one the posts here, it takes complete honesty and a heck of a whole lot of commitment and drive to make sure it not only survives but also thrives. i can personally say it is never easy, but i am proud to say that i am not alone in doing whatever it takes to make the relationship work. he gives as good as he gets and more. the relationship has a lot going for it that i am prepared to risk my heart for it.
1 person likes this
@michan (212)
• Philippines
25 Feb 07
I believe there's nothing wrong about falling in love with someone you haven't met in person. But a relationship like this depends a lot on honesty and trust. If you can't be honest or trust the other person enough, then it's pointless to continue in a relationship like this. What the problem they should worry about most is when they actually start living together and they find out that they're not meant together, but then if their hearts are true, they could work it out.
@Stiletto (4582)
5 Feb 07
I certainly think you can be strongly attracted to someone you meet online and it is very different from "normal" relationships because the whole physical attraction element which usually comes first isn't there. As to whether you can truly say you've fallen in love with someone without meeting them first I'm not sure. Unless you've physically met someone then you've really just fallen in love with the impression you have of that person. Obviously it does happen as other responses in this discussion prove but I guess it really comes down to honesty and you wouldn't know if a person has been honest until you met them.
1 person likes this
@markdan (127)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
Yah. Im one of those actually.Ive meet my girlfriend online. For almost 7 months I never seen her, since the day we start our relationship online. At first it was very difficult for us. But We learn how to deal with it. It is a matter of Trust and Love to each other. Have a nice day
@mdilan (803)
• United States
24 Jan 07
To answer your question, I will make a story to you. I have a a friend my closest one) who fell in love with a man on the internet. As usual, they saw many pictures of each other. Well she decided to live with him but they broke up 6 months after. Apparently his mom did not approve her because she was not belonging to his religion. A year later after they broke up, she accepted his religion but ended up marrying someone else. It sounds crazy, but many times relationshipslike this fail. My sister nevertheless married someone that met on the internet and they have been 4 years together thank God!
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16661)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
21 Jan 07
I've had both good and bad online relationships. The good one is the one I'm still in. I met my husband online in August 1998, and at the time I was attempting to go to college in Kentucky and failing miserably because of health problems. I originally started talking to people in a college-themed chat room because my school friends chatted there, and originally there was a different person in that room that I was into. Over the course of the time I was chatting there, several crushes and casual relationships came and went in my life, online and off. The man who later became my husband I met through an online friend in that chat room, and we became close friends almost immediately. We would talk online and on the phone about things happening in our lives, including romances. I didn't tell him for a while that I was interested in him. But the online friend who introduced me to him wound up moving in with his roommate, and therefore living in the same apartment with them. One night when my later-to-be husband came home disappointed from being stood up, my friend said "Hey, I know someone who likes you." He was really skeptical at first because I talked to a lot of different people online and because he'd had some bad experience with the online dating thing anyway, but he was interested. Our relationship wound up moving light-speed after that, because after the school year was over I lost my scholarships over bad grades due to my health, my family wouldn't let me live with them, and I didn't have anywhere to go. So I wound up moving across several states to stay with my husband and our friends. It's been almost 8 years ago now since the day I first met him offline. And I've never regretted it. We have a wonderful baby boy, and I just can't imagine what my life would be like if it weren't for that one chat room, and those friends who helped us find each other.
1 person likes this
@heeeena (39)
• India
21 Jan 07
Yeah,i myself is in love wid a guy 4m past 1 year,whom i met online...n till now my love is gng on smoothly n i hope d same 4 future also...
1 person likes this
@achumama (506)
• India
26 Dec 06
i think its not at all good to have such relationships..
1 person likes this
@simon4u92 (239)
• India
26 Dec 06
ya offcourse becoz i have made a gud number of frnds online.....and i think i have got better relationships even with my family members than through other ways......i even like a girl whom i met online, i think im in luv but donno exactly.....
1 person likes this
• China
26 Dec 06
I do not support fall in love online.it is only the hummor and curiosity,something let you feel good about him or her.that attract both of you living in fancy.Only when you start a date,can you find all the expectations are ruined after first sight.but it is also sometimes wonderful ending like a fairytale or legendy.my recommendation is that maybe you are talking to a dog online if it types.dont be indulgented in affection online.who knows?maybe she or he is the just the right one in your life.try to take a risk and eventually whether it works will be known.
1 person likes this
@caribe (2465)
• United States
26 Dec 06
Since I am not looking myself I can only predict how I would feel if I were. I don't think I could trust an online relationship enough to fall in love with someone. Too many times people project a persona that they want others to know as them when, in fact, they are very different. There might be more possibilities of finding out the true inner self of a person if you follow them on a site like mylot. Because I think here, maybe because it is not a site where that is the primary interest, people tend to be their real selves. I know that some love connections on the internet work out but many do not. There is so much to be said for being physically in the same place. They might have habits, for example, that you just can't stand. Even when you know their minds so well, there still might be a totally different reaction after meeting and being around the other person for awhile.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Dec 06
I have known of people who have met online, fallen in love before actually meeting in person, and then marrying. So, yes, I believe in love over the internet. Most common is LUST over the internet and then when they finally meet, either one or both are dissapointed because one or the other are not what they seem to be online. Love over the internet can be what you make it to be. It is easy to fake it over the internet, where in a real life relationship you have body language which speaks alot. Whether is better or worse....Im not sure. It all depends on the person falling in love and whether the other person is being honest or not. Thanks for the topic!
@getnbuy (1314)
• United States
25 Dec 06
I would caution anyone to be very careful. It seems like it would be easy to only see the good side of a person on the internet. I do know people who have met that way and married, though. I think it would be necessary to meet the person and get to know them for quite awhile in person. One couple told me that the advantage of internet "dating" is that you get to discuss things a lot and get to know the person's feelings, thoughts, etc. By the way, I love your new owl picture.
1 person likes this
@tibbler (229)
• United States
25 Dec 06
some times I think you can love some one you have never meet. Other times I'm not so sure about it. I mean I have a friend that I meet offline once & they always keep telling me that they love me. I kind of think its crazy.
1 person likes this
@plumwish07 (4059)
• Indonesia
25 Dec 06
Online relationship, i think its possible happened in this life coz i belong to them. I find my right man through online, and on the beginning he was just online friend. but by passed on tie, he becomes my lover and i believe on himself. I believe about his honesty and taking no doubt about him. and for me, its not worse to fall in love in this way. in fact, its better for me :)and how to make succesful relationship through this way is kepping trust each other also be honest about our self each other. Its not easy to do that but its not impossible to gain it
@shyam4uall (1002)
• India
25 Dec 06
It can happen to few peoples and not the general case.If we consider the general case then maximum of us are disappointed who take it seriously and those who donot take it seriously,make yourself as a joke for them.Maximum are fraud and they play with the emotions of the people.They pretend as if they are 18-20 years old but in reality some are around 40 years..So in that case we are only hurted nothing else..
@dterrell (11)
• United States
24 Dec 06
I think the real word you're looking for is infuation. The kind of love I believe you're talking about is a gradual thing. I agree that those online relationships can and do work at times. However, I believe they are more risky. People can tell you anything over a wire, but somewhere along the line you just have to meet eye-to-eye. That saying..."the eyes are the windows to the soul." says a lot. So, be careful not to get love confused with infatuation or just being in heat.
@moto47 (555)
• Indonesia
24 Dec 06
no and i think it will not happen to me after all how could it happen? for me, it's considered "impossible"
1 person likes this